No Turning Back
by calladragon
Summary: I feel like messing with Lisbon and Jane. I'll write a synopsis in a chapter or two.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've managed to catch another summer cold thanks to work so my Muse is AWOL on DiL. I'll update when she decides she's ready to play again. In the meantime, as always, I'm puttering about trying to coax her to come out and play. This is what's emerging and, no, I don't really know exactly what we're going to end up with. But, I do have an idea of where I'm going. Just not how I'm getting there. What else is new? I'm on one of my nothing is sacred; I just want to mess with them bents. ~Calla

#####

Walking down her stairs towards the kitchen, Lisbon knew she had more pep in her step than she'd had in a while. She'd cut out of work along with everyone else for a change instead of two or three hours later as she usually did. If that wasn't miracle enough, her team hadn't caught a new case and they weren't on call. She had the first truly free weekend she'd had in a coon's age and she was taking advantage of it. No case, no Jane, no Red John, no Rigsby-Van Pelt angst, no Bertram looking over her shoulder…She lobbied a silent prayer things stayed that way. If they did, she'd return to work on Monday raring to go.

To that end, she'd already had a nice long soak sans wine while she read a few chapters in her favorite trashy romance novel. She'd also washed and deep conditioned her long suffering hair choosing to let it dry naturally over applying unnecessary heat. It wasn't like she didn't have the time. She'd then scrubbed her face with exfoliating scrub and used a couple of those masks laying long forgotten in her drawer. Finally she'd given herself a pedicure with bright crimson polish and coated her nails in clear coat choosing to dance around the bathroom in her towel to the beat of her favorite Rock 'n Roll band while she waited for the polish to dry.

Lisbon smiled thinking, "Finally!" She'd finally taken some "me" time and indulged in all the girly pleasures she'd foregone much too long thanks to devious murderers and Patrick Jane. She'd even dug out that playful pair of jammies with the frog prince embroidered on the top and imprinted on the bottom that Van Pelt had given her a while ago. As for what she was wearing on her feet, she wasn't even going there. All she cared about was she looked good, she smelled even better, and she felt fantastic for a change. What more could a girl ask for?

Grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with soda from her refrigerator, Lisbon ambled towards her den. She'd eventually throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave to enjoy with her movie. After she'd eaten those couple of slices of cold pizza she'd swiped from Rigsby's lunch. The one's she'd never gotten to eat thanks to Jane. Settling comfortably in the corner of her couch, Lisbon took a sip of her drink before discarding the glass and turning her television on. Scrolling down to find the movie she wanted to watch, she eventually selected the appropriate title.

In celebration of the moment, she was taking advantage of the opportunity with a monster movie marathon. She intended watching everything from action flicks to cop movies to the dreaded chick flick until she'd caught up on every movie she'd wanted to see for the last two or three years and never got to. There were even a few comic book heroes tossed in there along with several old movies she was going to rewatch on AMC.

Studying her perfectly painted toes, Lisbon wondered briefly where Jane was then chided herself for caring. He was most likely in his Man Cave relishing his weekend free to do nothing but study his charts and notes. He was most likely replaying the past decade in finite detail in his mind trying to figure out exactly how Brenda Shettrick fit into the mix. If she was tipping off drug lords and psychos like Volker, what was to say she wasn't unknowingly, or even knowingly, tipping off Red John as well? Well, he could spend his weekend any way he wanted. She was watching movies, gorging on popcorn, and swimming in soda.

Besides, if he ever caught sight of her current attire, she'd never hear the end of it. He'd take one look at her and laugh his head off. He'd tease her unmercifully about the subliminal message she was sending out to the Universe in her frog encrusted lilac sleep shorts and tank complete with rolling, googley-eyed froggy bedroom slippers. She didn't even want to think what he'd make of the tiny crown donning each tiny green head or the perfect lipstick print on each tiny green cheek. What could she say? She'd found the set amusing when Van Pelt had given it to her for her birthday a couple of years ago.

Jane hadn't been around for that one as he'd been out in Vegas doing Lorelei and God only knew what else. She hadn't questioned him too closely on his return. She honestly hadn't wanted to know. What she did know was more than enough.

Turning back to her p.j.s, Lisbon decided maybe she had kissed a lot of frogs over the years without finding her prince. So what? A lot of woman felt that way. In fact, she still did. Screw Jane. He could think what he wanted. These were still her favorite pajamas. Both because of who'd given them to her and because she found them amusing.

Watching the beginning credits roll Lisbon paused the screen before acknowledging the past few days, past few weeks actually, had been tough for everyone. Lorelei Martins was dead and they'd lost Jason Lennon, the best link to Red John they'd had in years, to his injuries. Jane was convinced they'd actually lost Lennon to some covert action taken by Homeland Security Bob. Lisbon was inclined to agree up to a point. She wasn't sure she'd go so far as accusing the Agent of cold blooded murder; but, she was equally sure it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. That his nose wasn't entirely clean.

There was something about Robert Kirkland always poking about where he didn't belong that she found unsettling. The man wasn't the bumbling idiot he sometimes seemed. That awkwardness he displayed at times was clearly an act. She knew it and Jane knew it. There was far more to that man than met the eye. Refusing to spend her free time thinking about her Mentalist, she pushed the button on her remote before turning her attention back to the screen.

A half hour into her movie, Lisbon rolled her eyes at the knock on her door. Right on cue, it had to come just when the story was getting interesting. What else was new? Pausing the screen, she reluctantly rose to her feet and headed for the door. It better not be one of her team. She'd already told them she'd shoot the lot of them if they bothered her for anything less than life or death. She didn't care what bigwig got themselves offed or how loud Bertram was screaming. She needed some down time and she intended to take it.

Right, they'd all come running in either of those circumstances. Still, she wasn't taking her threats or this interruption lightly. It better be good.

Peeping through the peep hole, Lisbon was surprised to see Jane's curly head. He was the last person she'd expected to see. He'd told her earlier today that he was off to Malibu to follow some leads. He certainly couldn't have gone there and back in the amount of time since they'd left the CBI. He must have changed his mind or the lead hadn't panned out in the end.

Opening the door, she wasn't surprised to see him wearing the same suit he'd been wearing earlier. She was surprised he looked much better than he had most of the day. He'd obviously gotten a haircut and a shave. Nothing drastic, just some much needed maintenance like a bit off the top and sides and getting rid of that five o'clock shadow.

"Jane." Lisbon reached out to take the large bag from his hand. "Since you come bearing gifts, I take it you intend to stay for a while?"

"If you don't mind." Jane said quietly not barreling in as he usually did.

He must have taken her warning about not being disturbed seriously and knew he was treading on dangerous ground.

"What do you think?" Lisbon asked. She minded; but, she didn't mind. It was Jane. "I was settling in to watch a movie and gorge on popcorn. I think I like your idea better. Why don't you get comfortable and join me while I unpack this?"

"I can do that." Jane gave her one last appreciative glance.

"Hey, you brought the food now where's the flowers?" Lisbon's tone was cheeky and demanding in expectation.

If he intended disrupting her weekend, he could pay the piper in full. He'd always brought her a single yellow rose tipped in red as a thank you. She'd learned early on it was symbolic of their friendship. She'd certainly never considered the alternate meaning of "falling in love" as viable. Not where Jane was concerned. Not even where she was. The idea was totally preposterous.

"Here." Jane handed her the red tipped yellow rose he'd secreted behind his back.

"Cool." Lisbon took the flower already considering which vase she wanted to put it in. "I'll put this in water while you get comfortable."

She led the way into the kitchen rummaging under the sink briefly before rising to her feet. Turning, bud vase in hand, to see if Jane was doing as she'd requested Lisbon was surprised to find him intently studying her without the amusement she expected. There was a look in his eyes she couldn't read and wasn't fully at ease with.

She _so_ wasn't dealing with whatever _that_ was she thought she was seeing. She did _not_ want to know. Pretending to ignore the emotions she was feeling as much as seeing, Lisbon turned her attention back to the rose. Filling the bud vase two thirds full of water before snipping the stem and adding the gently unfurling blossom to the glass, Lisbon left the flower on her counter as she walked across the kitchen to start unloading the bags.

"You going up or what?" She asked. "Dinner's going to get cold if you don't hurry. It won't be as good reheated."

"I'll be back in a few." Jane turned to head upstairs.

Watching him go, the thought passed briefly through Lisbon's mind that Jane was giving off a really funky vibe. Something weird had happened between his leaving work and showing up on her doorstep. It probably had something to do with that lead not panning out. Or maybe Lorelei's death was finally hitting him. Or maybe losing Lennon was worse. Whatever it was, it had knocked Jane for enough of a loop he'd shown up unannounced on her doorstep inspite of her threats.

It was something he hadn't done in months. Not that she really minded. It was just strange in the big scheme of things. Jane should be over halfway to Malibu by now and he wasn't. She was taking it for granted his lead hadn't panned out. Truthfully, for all she knew Jane might have simply changed his mind. He'd been known to do that a time or two.

Whatever, she had better things to do with her time than pondering Jane's motivations. She did enough of that on the job. She wasn't wasting her free time doing the same, useless thing.

Opening the first bag, Lisbon decided the aromas wafting from the large bag in her arms were far more appealing than popcorn and soda. Watching Jane disappear around the corner, Lisbon puttered about aimlessly. Although they'd never told anyone as it was none of their business, he'd kept a spare pair or two of pajamas and a toothbrush at her place for years. It wasn't that he dropped by that often. He didn't. It was more that he usually came empty handed never intending to pass the night on her couch as he invariably did. In fact, she'd bought the pajamas a few years ago about the fourth impromptu sleepover they'd had with the thought, 'Better safe than sorry.' coursing through her mind.

She _so _didn't need to know if Jane wore boxers or briefs or boxer briefs. Heaven forbid he went commando. _Not_ an image she wanted or needed in her head. Not that she, and every other woman at the CBI, weren't dying to know which way the wind blew. It simply wasn't any of their business. Especially not hers. It was forbidden territory and all that.

Smiling at the memory, Lisbon recalled Jane hadn't said anything when she'd offered him the wrapped box containing two pairs of expensive pajamas. She might as well spring for the good ones that were going to last. At least that was her thought process at the time. Maybe she'd been hoping he'd keep turning up over the years as he had. She wasn't pondering that one too much either. Jane had just silently accepted her offering and worn them ever since. She smirked honestly not knowing if he slept in pajamas anywhere else. If she had to guess, she'd say probably not. She didn't really care. He did here and that was all that mattered. It was more comfortable for her. Lisbon knew she'd have evoked the infamous, "My house, my rules." regulation if he'd fought her on it.

Hearing the water from the guest shower turn on, Lisbon decided to wait a few minutes before she started spooning up. As usual, Jane had brought more than they'd ever eat including a fairly expensive bottle of wine. Finding her corkscrew, she opened the wine and poured two hearty glasses. Glancing at the restaurant name on the bag, Jane had clearly brought Italian tonight and it wasn't pizza.

While she wasn't opening the boxes to let the heat out, she could make an educated guess from the smells and her familiarity with the menu as to what was inside each bag. Glancing inside the cold bag at the shape of the containers, Lisbon figured the larger box probably contained her favorite Caesar Salad and the smaller a couple of generous slabs of Tiramisu for desert. If she was lucky, the third smaller box contained another dessert for tomorrow like that decadent creme cake. The hot bag was most likely filled with Sausage Lentil Soup in the large cup, breadsticks in the bag, and Chicken Piccata and Shrimp Puttanesca in the boxes. They could select one entrée for tonight and save the other for tomorrow as Jane was no doubt staying the night.

Knowing him, he might end up staying all weekend. He'd done it before and it might not be a bad thing. She might even be able to figure out what that strange vibe rolling off him was. Figure it out and help him lay it to rest. Not that she really expected that to happen. Jane was always giving off funky vibes, most of them Red John related. Unfortunately, the only medicine for that illness was catching his tormentor or putting him six feet under. Lisbon was hoping for the latter as she knew Jane was. They'd have to wait to see what happened.

Hearing the shower turn off and knowing he was only a matter of minutes from reappearing in her kitchen, Lisbon took down two salad bowls and dinner plates from the cabinet shelf. She'd deal with dessert plates when the time came. Hearing Jane moving about upstairs, Lisbon refused to think about the fact he was probably toweling off his naked body right about now. Banishing the thought as totally inappropriate given the nature of their relationship, she wondered briefly why she was suddenly having salacious thoughts about Jane. Not that she never had. She just didn't do it that often and never in his presence. Opening a drawer she removed the appropriate flatware and grabbed a couple of napkins which she carried out to her coffee table. Arranging the silverware on the napkins she ambled back into the kitchen to dish up the Caesar Salad with the neat little containers of dressing on the side.

Hearing Jane stride into the kitchen, she was surprised to feel him looking over her shoulder. While the man had no problem invading her personal space, this felt different than it usually did. Ignoring the sensors going off in her head, Lisbon opened the box of lemony Piccata allowing the divine fragrance to waft upwards and outwards making her salivate.

"Do you want the Piccata or the Puttanesca tonight?" Lisbon asked staring at the pasta dishes and deciding they both smelled equally delicious.

"Do the Piccata tonight." Jane said as he gently gripped her waist and nuzzled her neck much too familiarly. "We'll have the Puttanesca tomorrow."

Ignoring how her grip visibly tightened on the serving spoon in her hand, Jane grabbed their glasses of wine and headed for the den leaving a stupefied Lisbon in his wake.


	2. Chapter 2

Ignoring that nuzzle as a temptation of Satan himself, Lisbon forced herself to breathe normally as she turned her attention to preparing their plates. She kept telling herself over and over that Jane did _not_ just nuzzle her neck in an overtly familiar manner before striding calmly out of the room wine in hand. No flipping way.

That so did not just happen.

If it did, she was ignoring it.

Yeah, that was exactly what she was doing. I-g-n-o-r-i-n-g I-t…As much as anyone could ignore a Jane nuzzle complete with a sensual kiss to the curve of her neck. Damn the man for stepping so far out of line. He had no right. A chaste, closed mouthed kiss she might have been able to handle. But no, that was too much to ask for his first overture.

Jane had to be Jane and push the limits to the Stratosphere.

He had to wrap his hands around her waist fingers splayed against her flat belly and pull her back into his firm chest. With his bare fingers beneath her shirt no less. Then, he'd honest to goodness leaned in to sniff her in a way making her believe nothing gave him greater pleasure than the scent of Lisbon. She could almost believe that as Jane was so in tune with his senses. All of them. From any other man the gesture would have been creepy. From him, it bordered on crazy sensual.

But that nuzzle had done her in.

It was the gentle, affectionate rubbing of his nose against the juncture of neck and shoulder causing her eyelids to droop and her knees to go weak. And Heaven help her, the brush of his lips against her skin had finished her off. By the time she'd been able to breathe again, the man was gone. And forget all those other aggravating sensations she wasn't cataloging.

They'd only make her twitchier than she already was.

Arranging their Caesar salads on their plates with the accompanying tubs of dressing, Lisbon then turned her attention to ladling soup into two bowls and balancing a breadstick on each rim. She'd decided to fix the rest of their meal after they finished their salads and soup. The Piccata would stay warmer that way. Carrying the laden tray into her den, Lisbon briefly lost herself in her thoughts as she walked the short distance between the two rooms.

Things had been subtly changing between her and Jane for a while. She'd known he had some kind of feelings beyond friendship when he'd backpedaled on his "Vegas" declaration in typical Jane fashion, she'd just not known what. And she'd known she had some kind of feelings when she'd gotten so angry over his bump and grind with Lorelei. If that weren't enough, the way she'd felt over the months leading up to the dark haired thorn in her side's demise should have clued her in. She really shouldn't have feared she was losing Jane to the other woman.

Not if she'd simply viewed him as a friend.

Shoving her disturbing thoughts aside, Lisbon set the tray on the coffee table indicating it was time to dig in. Taking the glass of wine Jane offered she settled back in her corner of the couch with her salad plate sitting on her knees. Judging from the amount of steam rising from their bowls, she'd guess their soup was still hotter than either of them wanted to eat. Watching Jane grasp his own plate and settle in on his side of the couch, Lisbon shoveled a small bite of salad into her mouth. She briefly wondered what was going through his head before deciding, given that strange look in his eyes; it wouldn't be the wisest of moves to offer him a penny for his thoughts.

Watching Lisbon's tongue dart out to lick a bit of dressing from her lip, Jane read her mind like her thoughts were plastered across Van Pelt's computer screen for everyone to see. She was wondering what he was thinking and surmising correctly that she didn't want to know. It would be much too dangerous for both of them.

Watching her continue to eat in silence, Jane took a sip of wine noting she'd sneaked off to her laundry room while he was upstairs like a quiet little mouse to don the undergarments she'd clearly not been wearing when he'd walked through her front door. As much as she'd tried to disguise the fact with that cumbersome take-out bag, she'd not been as successful as she'd hoped. He'd certainly noticed what she was trying to hide.

The extra effort was something she shouldn't have gone to for his sake as, being a red blooded male, he'd appreciated the unencumbered view. He knew she hadn't. She'd done it for herself. Lisbon was a modest woman with very definite ideas of what was appropriate and what was not. That being said, she had a nicely proportioned body he wouldn't have minded studying through a little less clothes.

"Jane, would you stop staring at me and eat." Lisbon shot him a dirty look as she set her salad plate aside and reached for her soup.

"Why?" Jane asked. "And I am eating."

"Because that look in your eyes is making me uncomfortable, that's why." Jane was boring a hole through her and it felt really strange.

"You shouldn't be." Jane set his plate aside and took a nibble of breadstick. "I was just thinking whatever you did before I got here did you a lot of good. If I don't miss my guess, you had a nice long soak in your favorite bubble bath and washed your hair, read a few juicy lines in that tawdry romance novel you have hidden beneath your sink, indulged in some scrubs and face masks as there's a lingering scent of cucumber, mint, and pineapple clinging to your skin, and painted your toenails that racy red. It was a smart move. You look more relaxed than I've seen you for weeks.

Relaxed and very pretty not to mention you smell nice, too."

"Shush, Jane." He shouldn't be thinking things like that much less saying them.

"Why not?" Jane asked setting his half eaten soup aside. "You are a pretty woman, Teresa. You have to know that."

"Shush, Jane." Lisbon's look said if he didn't, her next choice of words would be stronger.

As if her looks had anything to do with being a cop.

"I don't think so." Jane studied her over the rim of his glass as he took another sip of wine. "You're a beautiful woman who deserves more of a life than you've had since the day I walked through your door…More than chasing serial killers and homicidal idiots…You've sacrificed way too much."

"I think that's my call." Lisbon said quietly. "It's my job, Jane, and I like it. In fact, I love it. It gives my life purpose and I can't imagine doing anything else. I never have and I doubt I ever will."

"While that may be true, there's more to living than putting the bad guys in a cage." Jane said quietly. "You should have a husband and children to come home to."

"I never gave much thought to children, Jane." Lisbon answered honestly.

As for the husband part, once she'd become a cop and realized she could make it on her own, she hadn't given that much thought to getting married either.

"Well, you should, you're running out of time." Jane reminded her.

"I suppose I am; but, I still have a few good years left." Lisbon smirked at his audacity. "I'm not sure I want children anyway. I've never really been all that sure where they fit in my life."

"You know exactly where they fit, Teresa." Jane continued quietly. "You've got a maternal streak a mile wide. You've just never found the right man."

"Maybe not." Lisbon agreed. "As for the whole husband thing, I'm not sure I want to do that either. I do a pretty good job of taking care of myself. I don't really need to get married."

"Nobody needs to get married even if they think they do…Most of us wanted to." Jane admitted. "I think you do, too. You were engaged to Greg once."

"When I was a kid and didn't know any better." Lisbon said. "I hurt him unnecessarily because I didn't know what I wanted. I know what I want now and I'm not sure how catching bad guys fits into a marriage."

"Other women make it work." Jane reminded her. "And that girl you used to be still lives somewhere deep inside of you."

"Other women aren't me." Lisbon said firmly refusing to acknowledge the second part of his remark choosing to sip her wine instead.

"You should at least have a lover waiting for your return each night." Jane cast her a concerned look when Lisbon sputtered in her wine.

"You volunteering, Jane?" Lisbon asked knowing those words should never pass her lips.

"Not if you call me Jane." That look in those pale green eyes was goading her on in a way she found irresistible.

"You offering, Patrick?" Lisbon asked again not knowing what had gotten into her.

"I might be." Jane's look was much too dangerous.

"Oh, shit." Lisbon couldn't believe she was actually contemplating responding to the arms he held out to her.

Yes, she could. Jane had opened the floodgates with that crazy nuzzle. He'd let her have a taste of what she'd been denying herself for too long. What they'd been denying each other. He'd made her hyperaware of just how badly she wanted to feel his naked skin against hers. To feel him in her and on her in ways he should never be.

And it seemed to be something he wanted as well.

Hesitating the briefest of moments, Lisbon rose on all fours to crawl up Jane's body like an oversized cat. She wasn't the least bit surprised when he reached down to forcefully haul her the last few inches until she was resting intimately precisely where he wanted her to be. To say that Jane was happy to see her would be an understatement.

"Honestly, Jane, do you think this is wise?" Lisbon closed her eyes against the lips assaulting her neck.

"No, I think it's the stupidest thing we've ever done; but, I also think this is going to happen in spite of that. You certainly aren't stopping me and I'm certainly not turning you down." Jane answered as he pulled her tank top over her head and released the hook on the pale pink bra he'd been dying to get off of her all evening. Drawing the offending garment down her arms, he tossed it away. "You're quite the perfect little thing."

Running his hands down her sides, he wasn't surprised at the color staining Lisbon's cheeks or the way she buried her face beneath her hair as her hands busily worked at freeing him from his pajama top. She was hardly an ingénue and he doubted she was shy in most of her sexual encounters. In fact, he'd place a serious bet she was anything but. She probably took the lead. However, she'd never been intimate with him and what was happening between them was nothing like anything she'd ever known.

For one, she couldn't hide from him the way she could from another man. For another, he doubted any of her past lovers had known how best to please her. For a third, he doubted she'd ever experienced this degree of intimacy with anyone. She'd never allow them this far in.

Sliding her shorts and panties down her legs, Jane wasn't surprised Lisbon had managed to get him completely naked while he'd been lost in thought.

"I'm not perfect, Jane." Lisbon said quietly.

"Yes, you are." Jane corrected her as he ran his hands over her bare skin. "You're perfect for Lisbon and that all that counts."

Kissing his lips, Lisbon rubbed against him suggestively letting him know she was far more interested in feeling him buried deep within her than she was in talking or foreplay. As much as she hated to admit it, he'd had her hot and bothered since that first nuzzling of her neck. In fact, she hadn't been sure how she was going to sit beside him all evening without jumping him. Her libido was way out of hand and showing no signs of getting back under control without a nasty fight. Fortunately, Jane had made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Running her palms lightly over his chest, Lisbon leaned in to capture his lips as she dipped ever lower to take him in hand. Mesmerized by her teeth worrying her bottom lip, Jane decided there couldn't be a more erotic, or painfully pleasurable, sight under creation than watching Lisbon taking him into her body. That she was enjoying the experience as much as he was evident in the adoration shining in those beautiful emerald eyes and in the gratified gasps parting her lips.

"It's been a while." Lisbon said unnecessarily as he knew exactly when she'd taken her last lover to bed.

Or, more accurately, he knew when she'd gone to Mashburn's bed.

"Take your time." Jane said far more calmly than he felt as he fought the urge to thrust into her warmth.

Lisbon was a small woman and he was not a small man. As strong as the drive to be fully sheathed, he wasn't about to hurt her. Even if he died before she was done and that was a serious possibility. Oh, but what a way to go.

"Patrick?" Lisbon reached down to rest her palms against his chest.

"Teresa?" Responding to look in her eyes, Jane lifted her hips and thrust the rest of the way home.

"Oh, my." Lisbon's heated gaze let him know how much she appreciated the extra effort.

"It does feel rather nice." Jane agreed.

"I don't think nice covers it." Lisbon said as she steadied herself with a hand against his chest as she began to move.

"I'm inclined to agree with you." Jane closed his eyes against the surprisingly hard and fast pace Lisbon seemed hell bent on setting.

There was no way he intended allowing this to be over before it had even begun. While his body would love nothing more than shattering into a zillion satiated shards as quickly as possible as he was sure hers would, his mind rebelled against the idea. They'd waited ten years to get to this point. It wasn't ending in ten minutes. No matter what Lisbon seemed to think.

Halting the forceful rhythm of her hips with his hands, Jane leaned forward to draw Lisbon into a teasing kiss. She was determined to bring them both to satisfaction as quickly as possible. He was equally determined neither of them was experiencing completion until she was well and truly loved. He'd always prided himself on his stamina and the woman in his arms deserved the best he had to offer. Even if she thought she wanted differently.

Tongue flirtatiously tangling with hers, Jane lifted Lisbon's hips in a rhythm designed more to stoke the heat within both of them than extinguish the flame. Breaking their kiss, she buried her face in his shoulder breathing the kind of noises in his ear he'd only ever hoped to hear. Changing the angle of her hips, Jane smiled at the sudden hitch in her voice and the tightening of her body beneath his hands. Not mention the tightening of his own. It was clear Lisbon had tricks up her sleeve interfering with his plans for a leisurely love making session.

Tricks like that rotation she was doing with her hips.

If she wanted to play that way, he had a little hip action of his own. If he moved her here…Jane ran his hand up taunt thighs before gently shifting her…placed his hands just there…and thrust just so at that angle causing that little mewling noise to pass her lips…Yeah, that's what he thought…He'd never seen a more beautiful sight than the shattering response of Lisbon's body to his actions….

Jane felt a certain degree of masculine pride that, while the woman was undeniably good at playing his body, he was infinitely better at playing hers.

That being said, maybe she was right this time. There would be plenty of time for a more leisurely pace, for proving his worth as a lover, the second time around. And the subsequent times thereafter as he had no intention of leaving any time soon. Now that they'd opened the forbidden door, neither of them were all that inclined to close it though they both knew they eventually would.

There wasn't any other choice.

Feeling Lisbon suddenly leaning back to look at him, Jane wasn't surprised at the feral light in her eyes.

The one he'd been expecting for a while.

"Jane." That tone said she was feeling far too vulnerable and didn't know how to handle it.

"Patrick." Jane corrected her as he ran his fingers reassuringly from her hips over her belly to lightly cup her breast with one hand while guiding Lisbon to continue the rhythm he'd started with the other.

"Patrick." Lisbon leaned blindly into the fingers working such magic against her skin.

"Let go, Teresa, I won't let you fall." Dropping his hand from her breast to where she needed it most, Jane accepted the surrender in her eyes for the gift that it was. "I give you my word."

Watching Lisbon silently breaking apart in his arms, Jane wound his hands through her hair gently drawing her into a lingering kiss conveying all the things in his heart he dare not say.


	3. Chapter 3

Opening her eyes to find herself sprawled on her stomach with the covers tucked neatly around her waist, Lisbon reached out blindly only to find the other side of the mattress as empty as she'd known it would be. She vaguely remembered Jane's lips pressing against her shoulder as he slipped out of bed a while ago. Turning her head to glance at her clock, Lisbon sat up allowing the sheet to pool around her waist. It was obvious Jane wasn't returning to bed anytime soon so she might as well get up and join him downstairs.

Rolling out of bed and padding into the bathroom as naked as the day she was born, Lisbon donned Jane's abandoned pajama top, brushed her teeth, and finger combed her hair. She wasn't bothering with dragging a brush through it as Jane would just muss it again. He had all weekend. There was something about bedhead the freak found sexy. Or maybe it was just her bedhead and knowing he'd given it to her.

Walking down the hall, she hesitated on the landing before descending the stairs and heading for the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway, she surveyed Jane's efficient movements as he poured water in her coffee maker and hit the button. From the way he was staring at her stove, he appeared to be making coffee and deciding what to fix for breakfast. That was all she hoped he was doing…contemplating. While she wasn't adverse to a good hit of caffeine, it was much too early to think about food. Her stomach revoiled at the idea.

The good news, he hadn't opened the refrigerator and started stacking things on the counter yet.

The better news, the moment had come for a timely intervention.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Lisbon asked as she wound her arms around his waist pressing her chin into his naked back as she allowed her hands to wander.

"Making someone's coffee." Not bothering to turn around, Jane stated the obvious wondering if she'd bothered combing her bed head before she'd ambled down the stairs.

He hoped not.

Rumpled Lisbon was seriously hot…especially since he'd done the rumpling.

Turning in her arms, Jane dropped a kiss on Lisbon's lips before lifting her to sit on the kitchen counter. Absorbing every nuance from her bright green eyes to the way she was worrying her bottom lip, Jane decided she was wound way too tight for this early in the morning. Then again, they were only three hours from the start of their work day and Lisbon was nervous…Perhaps rightly so. He was a tad nervous himself. They'd just spent an insane weekend making up for lost time and time they would never get.

Now it was suddenly over.

And neither of them was sure what would happen from here.

They knew what they _hoped_ would happen. That everything would slip easily into place and they'd find themselves shifting back into their friendly partnership without any issues. While it was a lot to ask, Jane thought they could pull it off. Their memories would sustain them.

Or drive them crazy.

He wasn't sure which.

"Honestly, can't you think about anything else?" Evading his nuzzling and casting a longing look in the direction of her couch, Lisbon certainly hoped not in spite of snarky her words.

"I am thinking about something else." Jane informed her. "I'm thinking this color and pattern is much too masculine for all those feminine curves hiding underneath." Jane dragged his fingers down the line of plain white buttons suggestively. "I'm also thinking that's a perfectly valid reason it has to go."

"Is that so?" Lisbon snorted at his very Jane reasoning.

Watching his strong hands efficiently unbutton the top button of _his_ shirt which _she_ just happened to be wearing, she was inclined to agree.

She wouldn't have bought this particular pair of pajamas if the pattern hadn't been very masculine and strongly colored in shades of blue that were much darker than he usually favored. She'd been curious what the swirling shades would do to his eyes. Whether they would appear more blue than green as they sometimes did. She'd been surprised to find the opposite true.

"Honestly, Jane, you are so not nailing me on my kitchen counter." Lisbon halted his hands on the second button.

"Nailing, Teresa?" Jane asked. "That isn't a very ladylike way of putting it."

"I'm not a lady." Lisbon countered watching him unbutton that second button daring her to tell him nay.

"Oh, you're definitely a lady and a fine one at that." Jane dropped a teasing kiss on her lips smirking when one leg instinctively draped over his hip drawing him more intimately against her. "Just not when it comes to this."

"I repeat; you are so not nailing me on my kitchen counter." Burying her face in his neck as she draped her other leg around his other hip, Lisbon chuffed against his naked skin enjoying playful Jane.

"Are you sure about that?" There went that sexy, smirky brow lift doing unmentionable things to her lower belly it shouldn't. "_I'm_ not the one wrapping _my_ legs around _your_ waist."

"I bet your wife never let you do this." Lisbon groused against his ear.

Oh, crap, she hadn't meant to say that.

While she _had_ been wondering things she probably shouldn't have all weekend, that wasn't supposed to just slip out.

Not in a moment like this.

"Are you sure about that?" Jane was positively leering at her instead of shutting down as she expected.

"How could I be?" Lisbon responded.

"You can't." Jane continued. "Trust me when I say that while Angela was every bit as genteel as you think, she was also carney to the bone.

That being said, I can assure you I nailed my wife as you so crassly put it in any number of places far more adventurous than our kitchen counter and she certainly let me.

Perhaps encouraged me would be more accurate."

"That doesn't mean I'm going to let you do the same." Lisbon countered as he released that final button before sliding his hands possessively over her breasts and around her back.

"Oh, I think you will." Slipping his top from her shoulders as he distracted her with a kiss, Jane lifted her hips quickly deciding that even after an intensely amorous weekend Lisbon was still as hot, tight, and welcoming as she'd been the first time they'd made love.

"Damn it, Patrick, you're so dead." Arching into him, Lisbon closed her eyes against the pleasure invading her body much too slowly for senses. "You're torturing me aren't you?"

Leave it Jane to take a scenario that should be hard and fast and over in a flash and turn it into something else entirely. The man couldn't simply have hot monkey sex followed by a nice cup of coffee and a kiss. That was too much to ask. He had to do it slowly and sensually and much too emotionally for her peace of mind.

Losing herself in his eyes, Lisbon briefly wondered why she'd never done this before and decided the answer was simple.

She'd never gotten as intimately involved with any long term lover as she had with Jane over the course of a single weekend.

That spoke volumes towards indicating she was already in well over her head.

"Maybe." Jane looked down long enough to shift her legs a little higher before capturing her eyes again.

"You're punishing for the shower." With good reason she supposed.

Lisbon smirked at the memories.

Before that shower was over she'd done things with her hands, her mouth, and her body causing the man currently thrusting so intently into her to utter sounds she never expected to pass his lips.

Sounds not dissimilar to the ones she was making now.

Humiliatingly girly, mewling sounds no man should ever make.

Sounds she wasn't ashamed to be making at all.

Not one bit because whatever Jane was doing was magic…And that angle was divine… He could take her as long and as hard and as deep and as slow as he wanted. She didn't really care as long as having him so intimately sheathed within her felt like this.

She was also fast deciding quickies were overrated.

And quickies on the kitchen counter even more so.

She'd tell anyone who wanted to listen...

No, maybe, she wouldn't...

Jane was hers and she wasn't about to share.

"Definitely punishing you." Jane agreed knowing nothing could be farther from the truth.

He wasn't remotely interested in making her pay for the shower. He'd found the whole incident rather exhilarating. Who knew shower sex with Lisbon could be a mind altering encounter? He was sure he'd had a soul baring epiphany or two. And it wasn't that she'd done anything he hadn't had done before. It was simply the experience was heightened because it was her.

So, no, he wasn't interested in tormenting her for making him suffer in such a delicious way. He was, however, very interested in the tightening of her body and those little mewling sounds she was making. The ones signaling she was fast approaching an epiphany of her own...and if he touched her just so...that would happen...

And he'd have the priceless pleasure of watching the woman he loved shatter into a million beautiful pieces in his arms.

#####

Glancing at her watch, Lisbon wondered for the hundredth time where Jane was. He should already be here. He'd left her place hours ago.

"Lisbon?" Jane poked his head in her office without knocking and wiggled a white bag in her direction.

"That better be either a banana cinnamon choco-chip or a pumpkin spice muffin." Lisbon looked up from the file she was reading. "I'm not accepting any bribe less than my favorites since you're over an hour late."

He'd left her apartment in plenty of time to return home, get ready for the day, and be at the office as promptly as she had. Even with stopping by the busy bakery around the corner to flirt with Lucy. There was no acceptable excuse for tardiness in Lisbon's world including Lucy's adorably nauseating perkiness and Jane had been tardy a lot over the years.

Try whenever he darned well pleased.

Oh, and the fact he'd finished the quicky they'd started in the kitchen with a lengthier encounter in her bedroom leaving her boneless and satiated in the middle of her mattress didn't cut any slack. No matter what he might think. He was still late.

"One of each." Jane said wisely as he stepped into her office before closing and locking the door.

"Good job." Taking the bag he extended, Lisbon opened it and took a hearty sniff deciding the pumpkin spice held more appeal at the moment.

"I brought you a cup of coffee, too." Jane offered her the extra large cup smelling of chicory.

"You didn't?" Removing the lid, Lisbon took a sniff of the chicory laden New Orleans Café au Lait. "You did."

Forget any "New Orleans Style" anything. Antoine was from the Big Easy and his brew was his Mama's unique chicory blend sent over from her well known French Quarter restaurant with her son's special twist. In fact, all of his recipes were hand-me-down Cajun with a pinch of this and a smidge of that added to make each one uniquely Tony's. That was why the kid was making a name for himself instead of riding on Mama's justifiably famous coat tails. Anything coming out his kitchen was delicious and memorable from the get-go.

"Yeah, Lisbon, I did." Jane agreed. "Antoine said to tell you hello and to stop being a stranger." Right, like _he_ was going to let that happen. "He also sent you a few of those Beignets you like in that second bag. Oh, and as he had both Shrimp and Crawfish Étouffée on the menu today, I picked you up a large container of each."

Actually, _he'd_ bought the Shrimp Étouffée while Tony had thrown the Crawfish Étouffée in as a bonus since it _wasn't_ on the menu today. He was catering a large event later in the day featuring Lisbon's favorite item and decided to toss his own "thinking of you" gift into the mix. Jane had resisted the urge to refuse or to toss the offering aside on the way to the office. He'd done neither deciding graciousness was the better action. Lisbon would only find out what he'd done the next time they dropped by _Antoine's_ as Tony would surely ask how she'd enjoyed her _Crawfish_ Étouffée.

Personally, while he liked him well enough, he found the man's presence annoying. Antoine was much too fond of hanging about their booth when they dropped in for lunch and the occasional dinner for Jane's tastes. He wasn't that much younger than Lisbon, a scant couple of years at most, and he was obviously interested. Not in an off-putting way. In that gentlemanly, charismatic Southern way that slipped up on a girl before she knew what hit her. It didn't hurt that he had the whole tall, dark, and broody deal going on in a good way.

Lisbon was not immune to his charms either.

As much as Jane wished he could call the man "oily," he couldn't. Antoine Desharnais was a decent sort. He'd be a good man for his partner to date. He'd treat her right and they'd have fun together. Goodness knows he had half the battle won already. Who'd have thought the way to an itty, bitty thing's heart was through her stomach. He could even see it working out in the long haul given the long hours they both worked, their intensities about their chosen professions, and the rare degree of understanding between them because of this.

Too bad it wasn't happening.

Hence the sin of omission…As far as Lisbon was concerned, everything in that bag except the Beignets were there because _he'd_ gotten them for her. As for _Antoine's,_ they wouldn't be going there any time soon. Lisbon had gotten her last Cajun fix for the foreseeable future.

"Man, Café au Lait, Beignets, Crawfish and Shrimp Étouffée?" Lisbon's eyebrow rose appreciatively as she bit back the rest of her comment.

"You can speak freely, Teresa, the door is locked, the bullpen is empty, and your office is clean." Jane said quietly.

He should know as he'd swept her office before he'd left to pick up coffee and muffins. He'd swept it again a few minutes ago when he'd returned while Lisbon was down the hall in Allman's office. So, no, he _hadn't_ been late. He'd actually been at the office a while before her arrival. He'd just been conveniently out of sight doing other things.

"I don't know what to think." Lisbon closed the bag of muffins before reaching for the Beignets which went so very nicely with steaming Café au Lait. "Except you're either telling me nicely you regret this weekend or you're thanking me for being a very bad girl."

Heat suffusing her cheeks, Lisbon looked away at the thought they'd made the most of their forbidden tryst. They truly had. She'd been a very bad girl indeed. Not that Jane had behaved any better. He'd been deliciously wicked in unspeakable ways and she'd gladly let him.

With hindsight, she'd say they'd held nothing back and been quite naughty together.

"I certainly don't regret any of it and, yes, I'd say we both behaved quite badly in very delicious ways." Jane teased enjoying the heightening of the color already staining her cheeks. "However, you need to understand that wasn't my intent in showing up the way that I did. I thought we could both use a decent meal and some civilized company. It was nothing we haven't done before."

His tone was much too serious for Lisbon's comfort level.

"I know." She said equally serious. "And I never had that intent in letting you in."

He was right. It wasn't like they hadn't spent countless evenings enjoying a meal and innocent companionship at the end of a hard day over the course of their acquaintance. In fact, they hung out regularly at her place and occasionally at his. Neither of them expected that night to be any different. She was completely sure of that.

"Jane, it had to be something we both wanted or it would never have happened." There was a note in Lisbon's tone daring him to contradict her.

"Yes, it did, and it was." After years of battling the attraction, he'd finally given in.

The last few months of losses and forward stepping only to end up farther back in the end had been too much.

"I'm glad you feel that way." Her tone said she hadn't been sure.

"Why would you think I wouldn't?" Jane asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't I?" Lisbon asked. "There's never been anything like that between us."

"Teresa, if you believe that you're a fool. I happen to know you're not." Jane pinned her gaze. "We've had a decade of foreplay that wasn't ending any other way than crossing that line eventually. The events of the last couple of years had given us a shove in the direction we'd considered but never taken when they should have pushed us farther away. The disk was just the final straw that did it."

"Maybe we have." Lisbon softly admitted. "And maybe it was."

"Actually, it was those ridiculous pajamas that finally sent me over the edge." Jane reluctantly admitted only to get a horsey snort for his trouble.

"Right." Lisbon tossed her head. "Only you could get turned on by frog prince p.j.'s."

"It had nothing to do with the p.j.'s and everything to do with the woman wearing them." Jane said quietly with a look in his eyes she refused to contemplate.

Watching Lisbon look away, Jane admitted it hadn't been those pajamas so much as what they'd meant. He'd known Lisbon liked them for reasons beyond the amusement factor, she looked cute in them, and they were a birthday gift from Van Pelt. A part of her identified with the tongue-in-cheek message in ways she shouldn't have. Like the one saying she'd kissed her fair share of frogs over the years without finding her prince.

That shouldn't be true for a woman of Lisbon's caliber. She deserved better. Unfortunately, that had started him thinking in ways he shouldn't have. He'd finally decided she deserved being loved the way she should be at least once in her life and the rest was history. He'd made his advances and she'd accepted letting him into her heart and her body in ways he'd never believed possible.

If only for a very short season.

"The only part I truly regret is it can't happen again. I won't put you in that kind of danger and I won't let you put yourself in it. Anything we might have isn't worth the risk." Jane cut to the chase deciding it would be less painful that way. "Not since he's told us in no uncertain terms he intends to start killing again and you'd be the perfect place to start."

"Don't be ridiculous." Lisbon rolled her eyes at the words he'd said once or twice in passing over the course of their heated weekend. "I've always been in that kind of danger as the Lead on the Red John case."

"No, you haven't." Jane corrected her. "He's never overtly gone after you until Vegas which doesn't really count. He knew I would never bring him your head. That whole gig was nothing but a twisted mind game."

"Yes, it was." And it hadn't played out well for them in the end.

Of course, Jane hadn't counted on Darcy's interference and Wainwright's complicity in trying to bring him down. Neither had she. And, as annoying as they both could be, neither she nor her Mentalist had wished either of them ill.

"We both know there's a huge difference between being a cop doing her job and being my lover." Jane continued as though she hadn't spoken. "Besides, he knows I don't play well with others. There's a certain illusion of protection in being the only handler who can actually handle me. Keep me sane and in the game."

Opening her mouth to protest, Lisbon wasn't all that surprised when Jane pressed his finger gently against her lips.

"Then that in itself should keep me safe." Lisbon continued in spite of his gesture.

"Not if he's bored with all of this." Jane corrected her. "Not if he's ready to play the end game and walk away. You become expendable. That isn't a chance I'm willing to take."

"But I am." Lisbon answered honestly.

"Not going to happen." Jane said firmly. "And don't even suggest waiting until all of this is over. I might be a selfish man; but, I'm not that selfish. I won't destroy any more your life because you have ridiculous illusions of us being star crossed lovers in your otherwise practical head.

Neither of us knows how this mess will end. I won't have you wasting any more of your life over me. It isn't like we haven't finally tasted the forbidden. Now it's time to get it out of our systems."

"That's not your decision." Lisbon said firmly.

The truth had finally hit her like a freight train in the wee hours of the morning when she'd gazed at Jane lying so peacefully in sleep beside her. She'd already been waiting the better part of a decade for him to come to his senses even if she hadn't known that was what she was doing. He finally had, saying all the things with his body he'd never confess with his mouth much as she had done. She didn't want to lose what they had. She wasn't going to. She'd wait until the end of time if necessary.

"Yes, Teresa, it is." Jane said. "And I care enough to let you go."

Nodding his head in that final way that said everything, Jane was gone in a blink.

Watching him walk out the door, Lisbon knew with her head that he was right. Being with Jane like that was much too dangerous for both of them. She could die and Jane would finally be destroyed.

Besides, what was between them could never be. Jane wouldn't let it. Or he could think he wouldn't.

Now that they'd crossed the point of no return Lisbon knew one thing with her heart. There was no turning back. While she might retreat in seeming defeat, she wasn't letting go. And she wasn't going anywhere. She'd eventually figure out how to get around Jane's arguments. And when she did, he was done. He wouldn't have any choice.

Now that she'd finally kissed the _right_ frog, she wasn't letting go any time soon.

No matter how it looked at the moment.

#####

"Do you think it's him?" Lisbon asked as she focused on following the SUV in front of them.

Cho knew exactly where they were going. She didn't. And while she was the lead on the case, he was the lead driver. That's why she couldn't afford to lose him in the weaving traffic.

They'd caught another case an hour ago. A small town Sheriff had been slain in questionable circumstances. Lisbon's gut said Red John. The local PD claimed otherwise. It seemed their lady Sheriff was a bit of a bounder when it came to men and had more than her fair share of scorned lovers and paramours. Not to mention the disgruntled wifes and girlfriends.

"As nothing the local PD said indicates it is, I'd say not." Jane glanced briefly at Lisbon appreciating that both of them were being adults about what happened between them.

He was somewhat surprised as well that they had fallen so easily back into their normal pattern without any of the awkwardness he'd expected. Lisbon was business as usual and he was fighting the desire to press his nose against her pulse point to catch a good whiff of the spicy perfume so much a part of her. Smiling slightly, Jane admitted that was usual as well. The few times Lisbon had tried to switch scents, he'd subtly persuaded her to do otherwise. Some things should never change and that was one of them. There was nothing he liked more than sniffing the scent of Lisbon lingering in the air.

Well, yes, there was; but, he was never doing that again. Not as long as Red John was wreaking havoc on their lives. Maybe once the monster was caught, he'd see if Lisbon was interested in a repeat performance.

"I didn't think so." Lisbon agreed turning her head slightly to glance at him. "We're okay?"

"Yeah, Lisbon, we're okay." Jane reassured her. "We're both adults and we're fully capable of just being friends."

It might kill him now that he'd had such a prolonged taste her pleasures; but, Jane was determined to keep Lisbon safe and that meant keeping those walls between them firmly in place.

"We never stopped being friends because we were lovers." Lisbon reminded him daring him to deny her use of that word.

Just as she expected, he didn't.

And, no, they would never be just friends. And they'd never just be lovers. And they'd certainly never be anything so ridiculous as friends with benefits. There was too much real emotion swirling between them to play that kind of nonsense. Even if Red John wasn't out there threatening to strike.

Nope, they were definitely not any of those things. Lovers who happened to be friends or friends who happened to become lovers, yeah, she could agree with that.

But, Lisbon thought as she flipped her left signal light on, only if they were lovers who just happened to be deeply _in love_ as well.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: To Tina and the rest of my guests reviewers, thank you so much for the reviews. They are greatly appreciated! While I don't write for reviews, knowing I'm being read does tend to keep me writing!~Calla

#####

Ignoring the rest of the team and their low pitched conversation, Jane swirled his glass in his hands. He hadn't taken more than three sips of his drink over the past three hours. He'd been far too intent on replaying the crime scene in his head and reading the scribbles Lisbon was writing on her pad. Nothing had been as they thought it was or as it seemed from what they'd been told. Not once they'd arrived at the crime scene.

The one thing obvious from the start was what the local's had kept a lid on: Sheriff Judy was indisputably a Red John kill. A kill that was most likely attributable to the master himself and not to a tool. Or to a copy cat intimately familiar with his gory style. Given what he'd learned about the victim, such a scenario wasn't outside the realm of possibility though he seriously doubted it. The slaughter of the Law Enforcement Officer at her desk reeked too much of Red John.

That being said, there was no denying the victim had been more than predatory when it came to men. Or that she'd cut quite a swathe through the town in the years she'd worn that badge on her belt. Truthfully, Jane wasn't sure it wasn't more of a question of who she hadn't slept with than who she had from the list of acceptable candidates. Even less endearing than Judith's casual carnality was the woman's preference for prey boasting a ring on a certain finger.

Personally, he wasn't sure she hadn't gotten what was coming to her given her personal choices. Then again, Jane knew he was biased. It was no secret how he felt about infidelity and cheating spouses.

He had no use for the lot of them.

Glancing briefly at the team noting they were still deeply embroiled in aspects of the case he had no interest in, Jane turned his attention to Lisbon instead. Her hair was softly flowing the way he liked it and she'd touched up her make-up before they'd left the CBI for the evening. She'd also tossed her jacket and shoulder harness in the trunk of her car in passing as they'd made their way across the parking lot.

He'd give her kudos for that one.

Ignoring the hand gun hugging her lower back, he'd thoroughly enjoyed openly ogling the firm roundness of her rear as she'd leaned over that pool table earlier. Cho couldn't say a thing as he'd been doing the same while Van Pelt had rolled her eyes threateningly and Rigsby looked embarrassed. In the end, Lisbon had subtly promised both of them serious pain if they didn't put their eyes back where they belonged before she'd figuratively wiped up the pool table with both of them. They'd lost quite a bit of change to her superior skills before she was done. Jane had enjoyed that exchange almost as much as he was now enjoying how her bright Tomato Red tee shirt was hugging the luscious curves of her breasts. The only way he could enjoy the situation more was if it were his hands instead of that clingy fabric cupping her.

Catching Lisbon's eye, Jane laughed softly at the sudden hint of a blush staining her cheeks as she rightly assessed where his thoughts were lingering.

Turning his attention back to Cho, Jane agreed with the Agent's sudden assessment their newest break led back to Visualize. Not necessarily to Brett Stiles per se; but, definitely to his organization. Maybe even to Raymond Haffner and his private investigation firm. No one really knew where it could go at the moment. Nodding his head in silent agreement, Jane thought Lisbon had the right idea. Rigsby and Cho needed to follow up first thing in the morning while Van Pelt worked her magic online.

"Sure thing, Boss." Cho promised as he absently doodled on a cheap paper napkin.

As impossible as it had seemed when they'd meandered across the street to the CBI's favorite watering hole for a change of environment, they'd actually made headway on this latest case. While they were off the clock as far as the Bureau was concerned, they were definitely working even if that included a few games of pool and a round or two of darts along the way. They'd also put a serious dent in a ridiculous amount of food while they were hanging out. Rather Rigsby had. He and Lisbon had both ordered soup and split a sandwich as neither of them was all that hungry.

Now, they were sitting here dissecting the case with the team and sharing a drink.

Actually, he was thinking while Lisbon was stealing an occasional sip from his glass and making totally disgusting faces for her trouble. He didn't expect anything else. Bourbon was an acquired tasted and one she obviously hadn't acquired yet. Even high-end, nicely aged Bourbons like the double he'd ordered. He would hand it to old Van Allen. The man might be too wealthy for his own good, but he was also that rare bird: a rich man possessed of a discriminating palate. The was something he could respect.

Not her usual poison of choice, Lisbon was making do with what he had to offer since neither she nor Cho were drinking tonight. Or she wouldn't be if she hadn't started high-jacking his booze. As much as he'd like to protest her actions, that would send the wrong message. It wasn't the first time she'd stolen his drink. It wouldn't be the last.

Things would look funny if he suddenly started protesting her doing what she'd done for years even if he pleaded the cootie factor. Swiping his tea, sharing his ice cream, and, as of recent, swapping copious amounts of slobber. Nope, he was perfectly content to let Lisbon do as she wanted. It wasn't hurting him. He'd been nursing the same tall glass all evening barely making a dint.

Looking around the bar, Jane realized it was later than he'd thought. Late enough the place was rapidly emptying out. Most of the patrons had to be back at the CBI early tomorrow morning bright eyed and bushy tailed. That meant they didn't stay out all that late on weeknights. Watching the team rising to their feet, Jane decided he must have missed something while he was lost in his musings as the three were obviously preparing to go.

"See you tomorrow, Boss." Cho said. "You, too, Jane."

"Yeah, you will." Lisbon said. "You know what to do first thing?"

"Yeah, Boss, we know. We'll visit Haffner's office first then swing by Visualize." Rigsby said before Cho could.

"Not that we expect to get much out of either of them." Cho voiced what everyone was thinking.

"Doesn't matter." Lisbon said. "We have to try and, who knows, Grace might turn something up on the computer we've all missed."

"Yeah, I might." Van Pelt said with more enthusiasm than she actually felt. "See you guys tomorrow."

Saying his goodbyes, Jane watched the trio walk out the door. Cho was no doubt going home to his lonely bed as he wasn't dating anyone at the moment. Not a state of affairs he thought would last long as the Korean Agent was already eyeballing a good looking, much too young, and much too leggy, Literature Professor they'd met in passing on a case. Said Prof had been eyeballing him back with just as much interest.

All Jane could say was, "Go for it, Cho." Oh, and to not come crying on his shoulder when the pretty brunette cleaned his clock. He had pretty brunette problems of his own.

As for the other two, he doubted sleep was what they had in mind given the looks they'd been casting each other all evening. He just hoped they had enough sense this time around not to announce to Lisbon or the world at large what they were doing. Maybe "who" they were doing would be more accurate. He thought they had a good chance of making it if they kept their cards close to their chest and _admitted_ nothing. People could ignore a lot of things they were seeing as long as they weren't forced to acknowledge it.

Taking a sip of his drink, Jane studied Lisbon as she settled back into the booth across from him. Watching her take a sip of water he decided she looked tired and the strains of the day were showing in the darkness around her eyes. Or maybe it was the lack of sleep they were both suffering from catching up with her. Somehow, he didn't think that was it. Lisbon was a cop. She was used to long, sleepless nights and he hadn't slept well in years.

It was more that their case had turned out to be Red John after all. The frazzled locals just hadn't known what they were looking at. Or, more believable, they were deliberately hiding the truth since it was their boss getting her throat slit. None of that really mattered. What did matter was their ineptitude, or outright lying, had kept the Press at bay for longer than usual. As a result, he and the team had accessed the first fully uncompromised Red John crime scene they'd had in years. There was something to be said for that.

"I knew her, Jane." Lisbon said casually as she tipped his glass to study the amber liquid.

It was a nice blend of caramel and vanilla with a dash of rye and some pretty interesting spices tossed into the mix. While not a big fan of Bourbon; this one was expensive and pretty nice. Better than nice. It was remarkably pleasant on her palate. Good thing it was going on her Consultant's tab. To be honest, she'd been making her ick faces more to aggravate Jane than anything else. She was actually enjoying the occasional sip.

"You went to the Academy together." Jane said quietly.

"How'd you now?" Lisbon asked genuinely puzzled.

"I recognized you in that photograph hanging on her wall. You were cute back then. Delicate and waifish with eyes too big for your face. No wonder Bosco fell so hard. Looks were certainly deceiving. You were already a tough little thing even if you looked like a strong gust of wind would blow you away." He'd spent a good ten minutes studying that picture deciding he could see that inherent strength and grit in her even then. "But, I happen to think you're prettier now."

Lisbon let the remark pass though he'd swear her eyes had gotten brighter.

"We weren't close friends, Jane, but I knew Judy well. We hung out a lot and we talked. She had goals and determination. She was also always more hard core than I was. I wanted to be a good cop and make the bad guys pay. She wanted to prove she was just as tough and just as good as the boys. She did it, too. The truly sad part is Judy was the last person I'd ever expect to turn into a dirty cop." Lisbon set glass back on the bar. "She never could have when I knew her.

I don't understand what happened."

"As much as we like to think differently, none of us are immune to temptation." Jane reminded Lisbon noting she had the grace to blush yet again.

"I suppose." Lisbon agreed. "But why work hard enough to become a Sheriff only to throw it all away?"

"Because evil is seductive, My Dear." Jane lifted his glass to his lips. "You already know that."

"I suppose I do." Lisbon agreed. "It's late, Jane, I think I'm going to call it a night, too."

"I'll walk you to your car." Jane rose to his feet watching Lisbon slide out of the booth.

"I'll let you." Lisbon agreed as she led the way out of the bar confident Jane was following.

#####

Opening the door to Lisbon's car, Jane watched her hesitate in sliding across the seat. She was obviously struggling with something she wanted to say. He didn't need to be a Mentalist to guess the next words out of her mouth and he dreaded hearing them.

"Come home with me, Jane." Lisbon turned slightly to look at him through wide emerald eyes.

"I don't think that's smart." Jane repeated the mantra going around and around in his head.

"It doesn't have to be smart." Lisbon pointed out. "It doesn't even have to be right…It only has to be what we both want and I think it is."

Jane studied Lisbon's face knowing what his answer _should_ be and undecided in what it _would _be.

"Let me win tonight, Patrick." As badly as she wanted to lean into Jane, touch him, kiss him, and lure him into her web, Lisbon resisted as she was clueless who might be watching their very public exchange. "I'll let you win tomorrow."

"We'll go back to being friends." He really believed that one.

"If that's what you really want." Lisbon agreed. "All that matters tonight is what I want and I want you. Actually, I need you. I'm not too proud to admit it."

Lisbon cringed at that note in her voice that bordered on begging.

"Let me swing by the office to make sure everything is locked up." Jane said quietly. "I'll be fifteen or twenty minutes behind you."

"I can do that." Lisbon nodded her head as she ducked into her car before Jane closed her door.

"Drive carefully." Jane said automatically knowing neither he nor Lisbon had taken more than a few sips of his drink all night so they were both perfectly sober.

"You, too." Lisbon turned her key in the ignition before shifting gears. "Later."

It was a typical ending to a thousand other evenings they'd had in the past. No one watching them would think any differently. Jane always saw Lisbon safely to her car when the team had an outing across the way. They always exchanged a few pleasantries standing much too close before going their separate ways. Nothing untoward ever happened even if it appeared they wanted it to. There was nothing out the ordinary about this evening to the casual observer. Nothing to indicate Jane would be showing up on her doorstep a short while later.

Not that that in itself was anything different as he often did that as well.

Especially after a nasty Red John kill.

It was what they'd be doing soon after changing the rules of the game.

Walking past Security greeting the guards, Jane did a thorough check on Lisbon's office and his cave before making his way back downstairs to his Citroën. Cursing the stupidity of what he was doing, he closed his door and turned the key in the ignition. Pulling easily into the flow of traffic, the thought never crossed his mind not to show even knowing that was what he should do.

Lisbon was expecting him.

It was as simple as that.

#####

Jane wasn't at all surprised to find himself backed against the door and thoroughly kissed the moment he stepped foot in the foyer. He was surprised to see Lisbon was wearing her jacket again. Glancing towards the kitchen, he immediately had the answer to the question going through his head. She'd needed to cover the shoulder harness she'd slipped back into before her hasty trip into the grocery store.

"It wasn't necessary to buy breakfast, Teresa. We could have gotten something on the way in." He gently reminded her.

"I was out of coffee." Lisbon uttered the single statement that said it all.

"That explains everything." Jane slid her jacket off her shoulders and shook his head. "I don't think it's possible for you to pack any more heat, Woman." He said as he unfastened her shoulder harness and laid it aside before turning his attention to the back harness holding the gun at her waist. "And I'm not sure it's really necessary."

"If I didn't have you, it probably wouldn't be." Lisbon informed him in no uncertain terms. "You're enough of a pain in the ass to ensure I feel much more confident this way."

Accepting she might be right, Jane reached down to unfasten her jeans before drawing them over her hips. Removing her pants the rest of the way, he quirked a brow at the amusing reality his lover had a handgun in an ankle harness on her right leg and a lethal blade in a sheath on her left.

"I suppose you can use that, too?" He nodded in the direction of the knife.

"What do you think?" Lisbon quirked a brow back at him. "I certainly don't use it to scale fish."

She wouldn't touch the stinky things.

"Remind me not to make you angry." Jane took a step back.

"You make me angry every day." Lisbon said. "I've just learned to count to a hundred before I do anything stronger than suggesting you bite me."

"That's nice to know." Jane said in a tone conveying he wasn't one hundred percent sure about all of that; but, he wasn't adverse to biting her.

"Jane, as interesting as this conversation is, do you want to talk or do you want to get naked?" Lisbon asked knowing he was deliberately hoping she'd renege on their deal. "We only have a few hours before we both turn back into pumpkins again."

They had to be at work early in the morning on time and with all of their faculties about them so they needed at least a couple of hours sleep.

"What do you think?" His tone said she was being ridiculous.

"Then stop stalling and finish what you started." Lisbon said. "You can figure out how to tell me this can't happen again later. It really isn't necessary since I know the score."

She repeated the words that hadn't meant a thing the first few times she'd uttered them and probably didn't now. Leaning into him and pressing her lips against Jane's, Lisbon drew him into a hungry kiss tasting hauntingly of rich, smoky Bourbon and mindless desperation.

"I'm not going to continue wasting my breath since you refuse to listen." Jane said honestly. "I am going to do my damnedest to resist you the next time you bat those eyelashes and ask me to come home with you."

"You do that." Lisbon agreed. "We both know I'm going to do it again and you might very well refuse me; but, I'm going to try."

"I suppose you are." Jane shook his head.

"You know I am." Lisbon agreed determined to persuade him to her side of the argument before she was done.

"Lisbon, we can't end up banging like bunnies every time he kills someone." Jane's hand against her cheek belied the devilish smirk on his lips.

"Is that what we do?" Lisbon answered his rueful smirk with a smirk.

"You know better." Jane dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. "But, I don't think either of us could handle calling it what it really is."

"I think you're right." Lisbon's eyes were much too bright. "Then banging like bunnies it is."

"As good a euphemism as any I'd say." And not nearly as crass as some he could use.

"Yes, it is." Lisbon leaned into him confident she would win the battle in the end. Jane clearly couldn't resist what was between them any more than she could. They'd just have to figure out what to do about _him_ and there was plenty of time for that. Right now she was more interested in what Jane was doing to her. "What do you say to taking me upstairs and getting out of all that? You're seriously over dressed for the situation."

"I'd say that sounds like a plan." Jane agreed lifting her in his arms.

He'd deal with the mess he was leaving draped over her sofa in the morning.

At the moment his plans had more to do with removing clothes than putting them on or away.

#####

A/N: There's one more chapter that will either appear later this evening or in the morning before I turn my attention back to _Darkness into Light_ while I figure out where I'm going with this story. So, it'll be a bit before the next chapter posts for _No Turning Back_. I'm alternating between the two writing as far as the Muse wants to go with one story before going back to the other to do the same thing. That's how my mind is working at the moment.~Calla


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This is the last chapter on this story for a week or two as I've already indicated. I'm going to work on a chapter or two of _Darkness into Light_ while I figure out where I want to go next.

To my guest reviewers, you guys are the best! ~Calla

#####

Lifting the plastic bag in her hands, Lisbon pushed off the bench she was sitting on rising slowly to her feet. She'd been piddling about lost in thought for a good half hour which wasn't wise. She needed to get back to the office before someone realized how long she'd really been gone.

Not the brightest idea if that someone was Jane.

If the threat of Jane coming after her wasn't enough, she had open cases on her desk she should be working. She didn't need to be hanging out here enjoying undeserved downtime. Actually, she wasn't just hanging out wasting time. She was thinking about Jane. He'd let her win at the bar that night and given her the last hoorah she'd requested before smacking those walls between them firmly in place as he'd threatened. He'd also turned her down the next time she'd asked him to come home with her and every time after. Again exactly as she'd expected.

So much for all those crazy ideas she'd had about wearing him down.

He'd shown her.

He simply wasn't wililng to engage.

No atter how hard she tried.

Given they now had a second Red John victim in less than two months; she was inclined to think his actions were right. They were better off as friends and partners than lovers at the moment. The last thing they should be doing was sneaking around like Rigsby and Van Pelt. They couldn't afford the distraction. Things were growing steadily more treacherous by the moment. They couldn't afford to make the kind of mistakes being intimately involved would cause them to make.

Right, in a perfect world, things would be that simple.

Their world was far from perfect.

It was a Jane world.

Oh, and speaking of Jane, she recognized the familiar shadow descending upon her.

"What are you doing here?" Lisbon asked without bothering to glance at him. "Have you been following me?"

"I didn't have to." Jane said quietly. "All I had to do was visit your favorite haunts and eliminate them one by one. It's not like there's that big a list. You have a grand total of four: your apartment, the terrace at the CBI, that fountain across the way, and this place. When you weren't at any of the others, I knew you were here."

"You had Van Pelt track me from my last call in." Lisbon rolled her eyes at her Consultant's audacity in thinking she'd believe he would go to that much effort when tracking her by technology was so much easier.

"Yeah, Lisbon, I did." Jane concurred. "While it's true I did check out all your old haunts, I always seemed to miss you. I didn't bother with your apartment since you wouldn't go home in the middle of the day without good reason. It's too far from the office for a casual swing by. So, after exhausting the other possibilities, I asked Van Pelt to locate you in real time and she did. It seems you've been spending a lot of time down here feeding the ducks the past few days."

"I guess I have." She'd deserted all of her old haunts as Jane put it in favor of some much needed solitude by the pond.

There was something about watching the birds and ducks paddling about that eased the turmoil in her soul. Helped her forget the memories haunting her and the touch she hadn't felt since the night Jane had followed her home from their favorite cop dive. He'd meant what he'd said about them not happening again. In the end, it had been easier to just give in than continue fighting stubborn Jane even though she'd tried.

She'd eventually had more important things to consider.

"Do you think it's wise to spend so much time in desolate places under the circumstances?" Not that the park was all that desolate; but, the parts she haunted were more isolated than most. As for the circumstances in question, he didn't have to spell them out. She knew what he meant since they'd viewed Lorelei's disk together. "What if something happened? We wouldn't know where to find you."

Or, most importantly, even where to begin the search.

"Does any of that matter?" Lisbon tossed a nibble of bread towards a turtle greedily breaking the water's surface and watched it snap up its watery treat. "As I was never really lost and we haven't caught a new case, it wasn't necessary that you find me was it?"

"I don't suppose it was." Jane concurred motioning to the chunk of crusty roll in Lisbon's hand. The one she was absently picking into bite sized pieces and tossing to the bossy reptile. "What's going on, Teresa? This isn't your usual hangout and wildlife's not your usual style. On the CBI terrace sipping coffee and gossiping with your co-workers I can see; but, feeding ducks and turtles in the park with the toddlers and old ladies not so much."

Jane's tone was casual while his speculative stare was anything but.

"I don't gossip." Lisbon said as she tossed the last of her roll to the critters and wiped imaginary crumbs from her palms.

"No, I don't suppose you do." Jane amended. "How about shooting the breeze and discussing inconsequential girly things?"

"Yeah, I suppose I do that." Lisbon watched two geese undulating their necks and waddling their rears in what could only be described as an awkwardly charming mating dance.

"You still haven't answered my question." Jane watched her watching the black and red geese preening for each other and thought she was much too intent. "What's going on?"

"I needed a break from work." Lisbon answered honestly. "I have four nasty cases on my desk that are getting nowhere fast and Bertram breathing down my neck demanding answers none of us have for him. Nor or we likely to get them soon. As you well know, one of those cases is a fresh Red John kill to go along with Sheriff Judy." One she was sure Bertram hadn't committed as she'd been sitting across his desk about the time that woman was bleeding out on her bed. And, no, she didn't believe for one minute Gloria Asante was killed by one of Red John's tools. He'd said _he_ was going to start killing again. _She _believed that was exactly what he'd done. He was now up two victims counting her old friend. "What do you want me to say? That sometimes the killing gets to be too much? Fine. Sometimes it does and I need a break."

Walking away from the pond towards a less congested area of the park, Lisbon knew Jane would match her step for step as she meandered towards a starkly deserted walking trail.

If she was the paranoid type, she might be more concerned with someone or something overhearing them. She wasn't. This wasn't some ridiculous television show where the bad guy had a satellite trained on their every word. It was real life and, as such, no-one anywhere around them gave a flying flip what they were discussing. They were too busy with their own lives.

However, were they within the walls of the CBI, she might feel differently.

Sometimes she thought the very walls had ears.

"Lisbon, a break from work is hiding in a corner of the terrace for twenty minutes downing shots of espresso until you have caffeine for blood before happily returning to the familiar grind." Jane reminded her. "Being gone this long and this far away borders on defection by your standards."

"Maybe it is." Lisbon agreed. "Everyone needs to run away sometimes, even me."

"No, not even you. You love your job." Jane called her on it. "I repeat, what's going on?"

"Do you really want to know?" Lisbon asked not sure she really wanted to tell him.

"Yeah, I do." Jane said. "Especially now that you've indicated there's something weighing heavily on you."

"Fine." Lisbon did a thorough visual sweep of the area before stopping to gaze into his eyes and reluctantly admitting, "I'm pregnant."

"Do I need to ask how pregnant?" Jane didn't miss a beat although Lisbon could tell his mind was already galloping ahead of the pack.

"No." Lisbon's answer wasn't unexpected.

"Approximately seven weeks give or take a few days." Jane predicted knowing that while the dates they'd had sex were indisputable, the exact moment of implantation was not.

Well, maybe not totally indisputable; but, they'd used protection after that first torrid night.

Silently urging Lisbon to begin walking lest they draw unwanted attention, Jane fell into step beside her as his thoughts began to wander. As cool as he knew he appeared, nothing could be farther from the truth. He hadn't expected this with any part of him. Logically known it was a possibility; but, dismissed it as improbability after calculating the odds based on Lisbon's age and a few other factors. Besides, things like this didn't happen to them…Famous last words…While he wasn't yet sure how he felt about this latest turn of events, he did know the moment he chose to believe conception had begun.

Lisbon had been warm, cuddly, and soft. Rawly vulnerable in ways he'd never seen her and passionately receptive to his overtures. Neither of them had held anything back as he'd taken everything she'd been willing to give and given her everything he had to offer.

He'd wanted that moment to last forever.

And now, it seemed, it would.

"Yes." Lisbon saw no reason to lie.

"That's what I thought." He knew it was unnecessary to ask. "That's why you've been disappearing for the past week or so. That's when you found out. Sometime last Wednesday. You left about three that afternoon and never came back. You've disappeared for an hour or two every day since."

"I got confirmation then, yes." Lisbon corrected him. "I pretty well knew a month earlier when I was late. That doesn't happen without a reason. Pregnancy was the most logical conclusion to jump to considering we didn't do anything to prevent this from happening until it was already too late."

As ridiculous as it sounded, Jane had nuzzled her neck and her common sense had galloped out the door.

It seemed his had as well.

"You didn't think you needed to say something before now?" Jane asked.

"Why? It would only alarm you unnecessarily if I wasn't." Casing their surroundings yet again, Lisbon was pleased they were being left to continue their delicate conversation in peace. "I decided to wait until I had confirmation to rock both our worlds."

"You've certainly rocked mine." Jane concurred with a rueful smirk on his lips.

Just when he'd thought their lives couldn't get more interesting. Right. If he'd thought the fallout from his rendezvous with Lorelei in Vegas had been intense, he hadn't seen anything yet. Teresa Lisbon pregnant with his child couldn't be anything less.

"Yeah, well, how do you think I felt sitting on that exam table hearing the last words I wanted to hear right now?" Lisbon asked.

"I don't know." Jane answered honestly. "Why don't you tell me?"

"It was a real, "Oh, God." moment." Lisbon admitted.

"You should have told me." Jane said quietly.

"Why?" Lisbon glanced at him from beneath her lashes. "So you could hold my hand while the doctor examined me?"

"I wouldn't go that far." Jane stopped her next step with a hand on her arm. "But, I could have gone with you."

"Don't you think that would have eventually aroused suspicions?" Lisbon gave him a pointed look. "Not that anyone knew where I was going. But, down the road, someone would have put two and two together and realized we disappeared at the same time around the time I was getting the heads up for this. Finding out for sure that you'd accompanied me would be even worse."

"I disappear all the time." Jane reminded her. "That doesn't mean I'm with you. In fact, ninety-nine percent of the time the opposite is true."

"While I agree, there's always been speculation of one kind or another about us." Lisbon pointed out. "We don't need to add fuel to the flame. That it's common knowledge you were asleep on the couch in the bullpen the day I had a doctor's appointment will go a long way in not feeding those rumors."

"While that may be true, I should have been there for you afterwards." Jane said quietly knowing she'd been a mess.

"In an ideal world you would have been. I would have made sure of that." Lisbon said quietly reading between the lines. "Our world isn't ideal."

"Far from it." Jane agreed. "I suppose this means I'm going to miss a lot of moments I shouldn't."

"I suppose you are." Lisbon looked away. "Moments you'd want to share?"

"What do you think?" Jane wasn't quite sure if he was more hurt or angry that she'd ask that question.

"I like to hope you would." Lisbon was honest with him.

"And I hope you don't think otherwise." Jane stated firmly.

"I don't." Lisbon relented. "I'm just a little crazy with all of this."

"That's understandable." He felt a little crazy himself.

Actually, he felt quite mad and he didn't mean angry.

"You okay, Jane?" Lisbon glanced in his direction.

While it wasn't unusual for him to call her Teresa off the clock and hadn't been for a number of years, she always called him Jane. Unless they were in bed she'd discovered. There it was much easier to call him Patrick.

"Yeah, I'm okay; but, you're not." Jane stopped and waited for her undivided attention. "What's going on that you aren't telling me?"

Lisbon didn't want to know how he did that. Knew when she was holding back. The how didn't really matter. Just that he did.

"I've been having some issues." Lisbon admitted reluctantly. "It's nothing serious. Just disruptive enough that I leave for a while when I need to. Feeding the ducks helps relieve the stress and put my mind at ease."

"What kind of issues?" Jane asked with concern.

"Some minor bleeding my specialist doesn't seem to find alarming." Lisbon said not looking at him. "She's confident it'll stop in a few weeks when my body realizes I'm pregnant and a monthly cycle isn't necessary anymore.

"Any pain?" Jane wasn't sure he was totally on-board with her current physician or with the idea she was still working if there were complications.

"Not really. Nothing anyone seems overly concerned about." Lisbon said. "That's why my doctor leans more towards breakthrough bleeding than anything dangerous."

"You believe her?" Jane asked.

"Yes, I believe her." Lisbon wondered briefly how Jane knew her second OB/GYN was a female as well. "As much thought as I've never given to having a baby, now that I am, I don't want to miscarry. So, yes, I trust Laura when she says I have nothing to worry about.

Besides, she has a personal stake in all of this. She's an old college friend. I didn't realize who she was until she walked through the exam room door. She went out of state for med school and her residency so we lost contact the last few years. But, we were really close before that so I do believe her. I don't think she'd lie just to make me feel better."

"Then we have nothing to worry about." Jane corrected her not at all surprised when a slight widening of her eyes was as close to acknowledging his comment as Lisbon got.

"She's the same doctor getting Deitrich through all three of her high risk pregnancies including that last difficult one so that adds to my trust." Lisbon pointedly ignored Jane's comment as she wasn't ready to deal with the whole "we" aspect of their situation.

She also wasn't ready to fight him about it.

"Deitrich has so many health issues it was foolish attempting a third pregnancy in the first place." Jane callously stated what Lisbon would never say but seconded.

"We don't know whether that pregnancy was intended or accidental." Lisbon reminded him. "All that matters is she, and the baby, were alright in the end."

"I suppose it is." Jane agreed not sure he agreed with Lisbon's take on the situation. Besides, they weren't talking about Deitrich's pregnancy. They were discussing _theirs. _"What does your friend feel about you working?"

"There's no reason to stop." Lisbon stopped to look deeply into his eyes. "I didn't tell you any of this to alarm you, Jane. I told you because you have a right to know. Now that you do, all I'm asking is that you trust me to do what's good for both of us.

I trust Laura because her theory makes since. As I've already told you, I'm only having difficulties those weeks when I would normally have my period. If this doesn't stop by the second trimester, we'll re-evaluate then.

I think it will. Things are getting better, not worse." Lisbon reassured him.

"Then I'll trust your judgment." Jane knew she wouldn't take any unnecessary risks as her maternal streak was a mile wide.

Besides, he wouldn't let her if she tried. As difficult as the coming months were going to be, he wanted his child. He truly did…Almost as much as he wanted it's mother.

"What else is troubling you?" He could tell by the slight furrowing of her brow that Lisbon still had things on her mind.

"I never wanted to be a repeat of of Rigsby and Sarah; but, I'm afraid we already are." Lisbon said quietly as she strolled down the path resisting the urge to touch Jane.

"Hardly." Jane said reaching out to stroke her arm in an innocuous way for both of them. "We've been friends for years. You know me better than anyone just as I know you. What happened between us was a long time coming and it had nothing to do with sex."

Jane couldn't help remembering Van Pelt's words on that video feed about Rigsby making a baby with a woman he hardly knew. That was clearly what Lisbon was thinking about. It was also certainly not true about them. He knew the woman standing by him almost better than he knew himself. He'd known her well for years. And while she didn't know nearly as many secrets about him as he knew about her, whether Lisbon realized it or not, she _did_ know him better than anyone. At least anyone living.

He knew her even better since that night he'd shown up on her doorstep a few weeks ago and ended up so unexpectedly in her bed.

"Maybe we aren't." Lisbon conceded. "That doesn't change the fact we were unconscionably stupid in our actions." She said quietly as she looked away. "It's not like we don't know what causes this or how to prevent it. Or that we weren't capable of being responsible. We're both adults. At least I am. You, it's more of a case of when you want to be."

"We weren't stupid, Lisbon." Jane corrected. "We were both so caught up in finally tasting the forbidden neither of us really gave much thought to the consequences in that first flush of passion. And while we both know it only takes once, I'm not sure either of really believed it would happen to us. I'm not sure we really cared."

He certainly hadn't.

"I can't deny that." Which only made their actions that much more inexcusable in Lisbon's opinion. "The truly sad part is we have to keep this a secret."

It wasn't fair. They should be free to tell their family and friends they'd created life and they were happy about it. She knew she was and she thought Jane felt the same. He seemed to anyway. Now, thanks to their irresponsibility, he couldn't claim paternity and she had to pretend to be ashamed of something she wasn't. Their lives had become a nightmare of their own creation.

"I don't think that's possible." Jane stated the obvious pretending to ignore what she was really saying.

"You know what I mean." Lisbon rolled her eyes in mock disgust.

"Yes, I know what you mean." Jane agreed quietly. "I'm going to miss all the milestone moments I should be sharing with you and our child."

"You'll still be sharing them." Lisbon consoled him.

"I suppose I will." Jane agreed. "Just not up close and personal as I should be."

"Jane, please, don't make this any more difficult than it already is." Lisbon said. "If we hadn't been idiots, we wouldn't be in this situation. This wouldn't have happened. Now that we are, keeping him safe is all that matters." She resisted the urge to rub her flat belly.

"It's "her", Lisbon." Jane calmly corrected her.

"You can't know that." It was weeks before she could have their baby sexed with any reliability.

"Sure I can." He said. "Call it a Jane hunch."

Lisbon automatically smiled at the ease with which he tossed her words back at her.

Words she'd used far too many times over the years to justify his questionable actions.

"How would you feel about that?" The question passed her lips before she could stop it.

"How do you think?" He wasn't making it easy for her.

"I don't know." She didn't.

"The idea is every bit as painful as you think it is. I can't get my mind around the reality of holding a daughter in my hands who isn't Charlotte Anne." Jane confirmed what she already knew and added what she didn't. "But, it's also wonderful. She's mine and I'm having her with you. "

"What's that supposed to mean?" The man was confusing the hell out of her.

"Exactly what you think." Jane said. "I wouldn't be doing this with anyone but you."

He'd certainly never have gotten lost enough in the moment to allow conception to happen. Then again, he'd never imagined having a child with any woman other than Angela and he'd already done that. Or he hadn't before Lisbon. And, yes, he'd imagined just that a time or two. Imagined her body ripening beautifully with their child and imagined the kind of mother she would be. Not that he would tell her that. Not any time soon. She'd lay the blame squarely at his feet where it belonged.

Well, she'd blame both of them exactly as she was already doing.

And she'd be very wrong.

_He_ had never been so lost in his passions he couldn't have instigated steps to prevent this or even stopped it from happening before it was too late.

The reckless part of him acting first and thinking later hadn't cared.

Had perhaps even hoped it would happen when he'd seduced her over and over again.

He'd known he would never be able to stay away from Lisbon if she were quickening with his child. And she would never stay away from him. They'd have to keep their relationship a secret; but, they'd be joined together in a very tangible way as opposed to being kept apart by the demon in the shadows.

Gazing at Lisbon, Jane admitted her situation had been very different. She'd been captive to her passions as humiliating as she'd find the idea…Captive and splendidly lost in the moment…Shaking his head at the inherent arrogance in that thought, Jane admitted the truth.

It wasn't that he was that good in bed.

They were that good together.

"You don't know that." Lisbon snorted at the idea.

"Of course I do." Jane's tone left no doubt he believed every word. That he wouldn't have done what was necessary in the way it was necessary for conception with any other woman. "Teresa, if circumstances were different, we'd be having the happy couple moment we deserve and I'd be showing you exactly how I feel about your news instead of standing in the middle of nowhere discussing all the ways we have to deny the reality that's my child growing in your womb."

"We're not a couple." Lisbon said automatically.

"Like hell we aren't." Jane rounded on her forcefully. "Being a couple isn't what you see, Teresa; it's what you _feel_."

Lisbon blinked at him a few times like a startled deer absorbing his every word.

"I can assure you what I _feel_ says we're a couple. That you're _my_ woman and that child within you is _mine_. If you ever doubt either of those things while we're playing mind games with the rest of the world, look into my eyes and you'll see the truth.

It isn't going to change.

I think you feel the same or you wouldn't have been so hurt by Lorelei."

"I do." Closing her eyes and hanging her head, Lisbon allowed herself to whisper the truth making everything more difficult for both of them. "I wasn't sure you did."

Reaching out to touch her arm, Jane wished he could do more. But, he couldn't. They'd already started on the path they had to take. The one that said he protected Lisbon and his child no matter the personal cost. The one that said he could never be a real part of their lives as long as _he_ was out there. The one that said he must continue acting as he always had. Not as he wanted to.

That being said, it was time to move the conversation in a less volatile, though equally painful, vein.

"So, who's the happy father going to be?" Jane asked conversationally positive Lisbon already had someone in mind.

She had to be using all those hours away from the office for something constructive.

"Hardly a happy father. While I'm not going to say anything, people are going to assume it was that corporate attorney my college roommate fixed me up with a while back. The timing will be about right. I'm not going to correct their assumption. He was in town off and on for a few weeks and we went out a few times while you were pursuing other things. He left for the East Coast the weekend before we got together. " Lisbon said quietly. "No one would have known anything about him if he hadn't called me at work a few times and sent two or three bouquets of crimson roses." Jane snorted at the predictably overused sentiment highlighting the man's lack of originality. He should have sent Lisbon a unique bouquet that actually meant something. Not that tired, meaningless standby. "I never divulged his identity beyond what I've already told you. It won't seem weird since I don't talk about my personal life at the office. I never have.

If we'd gotten serious, it would have been different. I'm sure he'd have shown up at the CBI a time or two before we were done. As he was only in town off and on over the two or three months it took to conclude his business, that didn't happen. No one's going to ask me his identity outright and if they do, I'll make something up.

The general consensus will eventually be that he isn't interested in being a part of his child's life. Especially since I'll discreetly let it slip that, unbeknownst to me, he already had a socially connected fiancée back home. One who could further his career far more than a CBI Agent ever could. It'll make the situation messy enough no one will want to poke around too much." Lisbon gave him the big picture she'd already worked out in her head.

She was still working out the finer points.

"I see you've given the matter a lot of thought." Jane gave her an appraising look.

"I've had weeks to work things out." Lisbon admitted.

"It's a good story that'll evoke the sympathy card." Jane gave her credit for that. "But, it'll also damage your reputation in ways you never have."

He didn't like that part one bit.

She'd taken enough hits to her professional reputation that could be laid squarely at his door. She didn't need to add any personal ones.

Her one night stand with Mashburn had remained a team secret as who Lisbon slept with, or didn't, was no one's business but her own. Not that anyone would have really cared. The man was an attractive billionaire and the case was over. Any number of women at the CBI would have gladly taken her place. And they'd have probably waited for his return.

Thinking over her plan, Jane wasn't sure he liked it for other reasons as well. In fact, he knew he didn't. There was nothing about the scenario he found palatable. From the reality it made Lisbon out to be the kind of woman he knew she wasn't to the fact _his_ child was being fathered by an imaginary lover definitely not of the first water.

Then again, being duped by an unscrupulous cad might be better than the truth in the end.

If it got out Lisbon had slept with him, her professional reputation would be irreparably shattered worse than it already was. Every gossipmonger would feel vindicated in keeping the salacious fires burning almost since the beginning. Maybe they hadn't been having hot monkey sex all these years; but, they'd clearly done the horizontal mambo at least once, and recently, or Lisbon's waistline wouldn't be expanding in quite the way it was.

In the end, it was probably far better to be thought the victim of a smooth talking rogue than found guilty of deliberately sabotaging what was left of her career by tumbling between the sheets with her whacked out Mentalist.

Not to mention the lurker in the shadows they didn't want to talk about was still watching their every move. Neither of them could predict _his_ reaction. He might find Jane's present torment amusing enough to stay his hand or he might attempt the unmentionable. Or he might find it more challenging to simply out their indiscretion to the world at large and let the chips fall where they may.

Jane didn't want to find out. He shared Lisbon's opinion it was better to keep everything on the down low for the present. While it might limit his accessibility to both the woman he cared about, and their unborn child, such sacrifice might save both their lives in the end. Yes, Lisbon had the much better plan. No matter how much personal pain it cost them.

"You went out with someone I didn't know about." Jane's voice held a note she didn't want to hear.

"You had other things on your mind." Like Lorelei Martins and catching Red John.

She only hoped he hadn't slept with her again.

"I didn't." Jane said as though he'd read her mind. "And?"

"I went out to dinner with Darren six or eight times." Lisbon answered what he was really asking. "I didn't sleep with him either if that's what you're wondering."

"I wasn't and I never thought you did." Jane answered her honestly as the thought had never crossed his mind. Lisbon was many things; but, she wasn't promiscuous in spite of the Mashburn encounter. "But, you're going to let everyone else think you did."

"I'd say that's the conclusion people will jump to without my help." Lisbon agreed. "As long as you don't give them any reason to think otherwise we should be okay."

"And you think you won't?" Jane raised a skeptical eyebrow knowing precisely how much Lisbon had enjoyed the occasional gossip about them over the years.

She hadn't at all.

To be fair, the rumors were usually at their most virulent when she did something foolish to protect him and they quickly died away again when he was on his best behavior. To be honest, he didn't think anyone really thought there was anything inappropriate going on between them. He just thought people enjoyed gossiping and their unique relationship was fertile ground.

Jane blinked realizing that was true in more ways the obvious…not that it wouldn't be obvious soon enough.

"I can't, Jane. We can't. Think about it." Lisbon fixed him with a piercing emerald glare. "I don't think Red John will care that I had an "oops" moment with some random sleep over. This kind of thing happens all the time. It's already happened to Wayne.

However, he will care a great deal I had it with you."

Lisbon stated what they both knew.

"I suppose he will and that it'll make you a more active target than you already are." Jane wished he could disagree with her conclusion; but, he couldn't.

He'd only be lying to both of them if he did and, under the circumstances, that kind of deception could prove deadly.

Red John had upped the ante on them with that distasteful disk. And he had vowed to start killing with a vengeance again. It was one of the reasons he'd shown up at her house that evening. And, no, he hadn't intended to seduce her or allow himself to be seduced. That _had_ just happened. His emotions were running high and he'd found her irresistible. That wasn't a first.

What was the first was this time he hadn't walked away.

He'd acted on his feelings instead.

"It's not a chance I'm willing to take." Lisbon's voice drew him back to the conversation at hand. "Even if it means you don't get to share those important milestone moments. Just so you know, I want you with me. But, I'm willing to go it alone if it keeps our baby safer." Lisbon wanted to say "safe" but she knew that wasn't possible.

None of them were safe. Not since Red John had made it clear he was going to start killing again. The people closest to Jane were the most obvious targets.

"And I'm willing to let you." Jane agreed.

"I'll try to let you share as much as we can without arousing suspicions." Lisbon promised suspecting that any of that would be more than either of them could hope for and far less than either of them wanted.

"I can't ask for more." Jane said. "And, just so you know, while I regret the circumstances, I don't regret any of this or that she's ours."

"What are you trying to say?" Lisbon slanted him a sideways look.

"What we've both already said." Jane reminded her unnecessarily. "That I have feelings for both of you."

"I know you do." Lisbon agreed.

"Do you?" Jane asked not sure he believed her.

"Yes, I do." Lisbon repeated suddenly sure for the first time that she did, in fact, believe he cared.

"Good." Jane nodded his head. "And you feel the same."

"You know I do." She'd already admitted it.

Besides, Jane would see right through her if she didn't.

"I want to drop by tonight." Jane said quietly. "I won't stay long. I need to spend some time with you and I need to see my child."

"We can't do anything." Lisbon reminded him in case he had ideas she wouldn't be at all averse to in other circumstances.

"I'm not interested in sex, Teresa." Jane gave in to his desire to kiss her cheek. "Not that I don't find the idea appealing; but, like you, I'm not willing to jeopardize our child over transient pleasures. I simply want to see the changes in your body. I want to make a wonderful memory while I can. As your pregnancy progresses, I won't have many such opportunities.

We'll have to be far more circumspect.

There will be too many eyes on you in the beginning which means I'm going to have to push away instead of drawing closer. It won't look right if I don't. If I don't appear initially hurt by your imaginary betrayal. We can draw together again later after our tift plays out."

As much as she hated the idea, Lisbon knew he was right.

The dynamics between them had been weird for years. No one could deny they had feelings for each other. They just couldn't identify exactly what those feelings were. However, that Jane would be hurt by her unexpected pregnancy much as she'd been hurt by Lorelei's unexpected revelation was a given. That his feelings would play out for everyone to see much as hers had was true as well.

"Give me an hour after we call it a day to get settled before you come." Lisbon agreed to his request.

"I'll do that." Jane touched her hand lightly, reassuringly. "Teresa, no matter what gets said, or done, I won't mean any of it. It isn't just the team and our co-workers we have to convince, it's him as well. My performance has to be good."

"I'll try to remember that." Lisbon agreed knowing Jane would take every opportunity to remind her in private.

"It may get bad before it gets better." Jane continued.

"It'll be okay." Lisbon promised. "Now, we need to get back to the office. We've both been gone too long."

"I suppose we have." Jane agreed. "Lisbon, what about Bertram?"

"What about him?" Lisbon asked.

"He's going to ask point blank if she's mine." Jane stated firmly.

"I suppose he is." Lisbon said.

"And you can tell him "no" without him seeing right through you?" Jane's voice held a healthy note of doubt.

"It won't be as hard as you think." Lisbon said. "Bertram saw us out in a fancy restaurant a couple of nights before Darren left. It was obvious we were on a date so I doubt it'll take much for him to jump to the natural conclusion."

"How much of a date?" Jane was surprised at the jealousy in his voice.

Lisbon said she hadn't slept with the man and he believed her. She wouldn't lie about a thing like that especially under these circumstances. She was much too honorable. And even if she did, he's see right through her as he always did. While it was true she'd gotten better at lying, she hadn't gotten that good. Certainly not good enough to lie to him.

"He kissed me at the table." Lisbon rolled her eyes at the knowing smirk saying Jane knew exactly how well that very PDA gesture had gone over with her. "That was as far as it went. He was a good looking man; but, he wasn't you. I wasn't attracted to him no matter how badly I wanted to be."

"I'm glad." Jane reluctantly admitted.

"I'm sure you are." Lisbon rolled her eyes at him not willing to touch that statement with a ten-foot pole.

Parting ways at the fork in the path, Jane headed for his car watching Lisbon head for her SUV. Satisfied she'd made it safely and all was well when she pulled the vehicle from the parking place, he watched her drive away. As much as he needed to get back to the office, he needed to think more. And as much as he knew he should stay out of this latest turn of events, that wasn't happening now.

He'd just have to figure out how best to walk that very fine line between publically being nothing more than a supportive friend and privately being the eagerly expectant father no one could see.

It was a tall order, but if anyone could pull it off he could.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I lied.

I'm afraid _this_ is the last chapter of _NTB_ before I go back to working on _DiL_ and editing a 140,000 word Historical down to 90,000 words for submission.

I can't leave a 1,900 word chapter just hanging without it calling, "Finish me! Finish me!" and distracting me from everything else. So, it had to be finished (as it now is) even if it isn't the greatest chapter ever. Yes, I am a bit of a nut job when it comes to my writing.

On to more important things than discussing my questionable sanity…Thank you to everyone for supporting the direction this story is heading as opposed to where we all want it to go. I marked it angst for a reason and angst it will be for a while. Oh, and a great big thanks to Tina and my "Guests" for the reviews as always!~Calla

#####

Glancing at the clock on her stove, Lisbon poured a glass of juice and decided Jane should be ringing her doorbell anytime now. He'd given her twenty minutes longer than she'd requested. Long enough to spend a half hour winding down on her balcony and still get the leisurely shower she needed. Carrying her drink into the den and sinking down on the couch, she set her glass on the table and turned at the sound of the soft knock.

Leave it to Jane to have perfect timing.

Rising to her feet, Lisbon awkwardly smoothed her brother's old jersey down her thighs as she walked across the room to let Jane in. Opening her door, she stared at her blonde haired guest noting the bag in his hand with glee. So much for his not noticing the longing glances she'd cast every burger joint they'd passed today. She'd tried to keep her attention on the case at hand. She really had. But, apparently, that hadn't worked out the way she planned.

"I think that might be what got us in trouble in the first place." She quipped as she stepped back allowing Jane entrance before closing the door behind him.

"Oh, I think it was a bit more than take out." Jane corrected her. "Like maybe that."

He gestured at the much too large jersey doubling as a sleep shirt deciding freshly scrubbed Lisbon was quite dangerous for his peace of mind.

"Right, my pajamas are so irresistible." Lisbon snorted tossing him a look saying exactly what she thought of that idea.

"Maybe it's what's inside the pajamas I find irresistible." Jane corrected her without missing a beat.

"Shush." Lisbon refused to acknowledge the heat in that look.

"You might as well enjoy it while you can." Jane thrust the bag in her direction. "That queasiness starting a while back will only get worse before it gets better. You know, the thing that finally forced you into accepting the possibility our extra- curricular activities may have netted a score neither of us had thought about."

"Be quiet and get in here." Lisbon snatched the bag from his hand before beating a path towards her kitchen leaving Jane to lock up and drape his jacket over a chair. "You can be such a bastard sometimes. A considerate bastard; but, still a bastard…."

"Lisbon." Gently grasping her shoulders, Jane turned her around to press his lips against hers not at all surprised when Lisbon responded appreciatively to his overture.

"What's that for?" She ran her tongue over her lips still feeling the hungry pressure of his mouth against hers.

"You deserve as much of that happy moment as I can give you." Jane replied softly knowing a kiss would never be enough.

Blinking back tears, Lisbon knew by the look in his eyes that Jane would already be making passionate love to her if that were possible. If it weren't for the potential threat to the life she carried in her womb, she'd be letting him. To hell with what they both knew and how it had to be. As much as neither of them should be happy about any of this, he clearly wanted their child as much as she did. And he obviously wanted her. That counted for something and that something was big.

Gaining control over her emotions, Lisbon opened the bag and upended the steaming fries on a plate before unboxing the burger and slicing it in half. Grabbing ketchup from the fridge and napkins from the holder, she made for her couch leaving Jane to follow or not. Snuggling comfortably in her corner she watched him settle down beside her before plopping her plate on the cushion between them.

"Dig in." Lisbon grabbed her half of her hamburger and took a healthy bite. "I can't eat all of this or I will get sick."

"I brought you that, too." Jane motioned to the large cup sitting on her coffee table as he snagged a fry. "It's caffeine free."

Taking a sip of the soda, Lisbon decided she'd tell him later she'd given up soft drinks along with a list of other vices that weren't good for her or the baby. For now she was going to enjoy every sinful moment of her feast and worry about all of that later. Eventually, she watched Jane set the empty plate aside as she brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Resting her chin on her arms, Lisbon stared at Jane suddenly feeling an awkwardness that had never been between them before.

"I still can't believe we did what we did and this happened." Lisbon motioned in the direction of her abdomen as she spoke. "I keep pinching myself thinking I'm going to wake up and find I'm in the middle of a nightmare."

"Is that how you really feel?" Jane asked patiently waiting for Lisbon to explain herself knowing nothing was as it sounded.

"Not about what we did or this." Lisbon rested her palm across her belly. "You know better. But, about him? Yes, that's exactly how I feel. If he wasn't still out there, none of this would matter and we could be together."

"We would be together." Jane reassured her. "Teresa, while you're hating him for ruining our lives, remind yourself that without him we never would have met. We wouldn't have spent the past decade getting to know each other. Or learning to accept and care for each. We never would have tumbled into bed together and that life your hand is hovering so protectively over would never have been created."

"And you wouldn't have lost your family." Lisbon's twisting fingers betrayed her anguish.

"No, I wouldn't have; but, I did." Jane reminded her. "And while I wouldn't sacrifice Angela and Charlotte Anne for you; I wouldn't sacrifice you and our daughter for them either."

"You don't mean that." Lisbon wasn't sure she'd heard what she thought she had.

"Yes, Teresa, I do." Jane stated firmly. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. We don't have those kinds of lies between us."

"Damn it, Jane." As much as Lisbon wanted to call him "Patrick," she needed that wall between them. "I don't need you making this any harder."

"It doesn't matter if knowing the truth makes it harder; you still need to hear it." Jane said quietly. "You need to accept it here." He gently tapped the side of her head. "And here." He placed his hand over her heart. "It's the only way you're going to get through the next few months."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Lisbon warily agreed still not sure she accepted what he'd said at face value.

"Come here, Teresa." Jane held out his arms to her openly pleased when she accepted his offer to cuddle without a fight.

Engulfing her in his arms, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"It's normal to crave affection. To seek an end to the unbearable loneliness we both live with day in and day out. We were both in a desolate place and we had been for a long time." Jane reminded her. "Given what's been simmering beneath the surface between us for a while, it should come as no surprise to either of us that something had to give."

"I don't suppose it should." Lisbon agreed.

"Or that that something was us." Jane held her a little tighter.

"I don't suppose it was." Lisbon closed her eyes as she

"I'd opened Pandora's Box with Lorelei." Jane reluctantly confessed. "It made it that much harder to deny the attraction I felt for you almost from the start. Whether you believe it or not, you've always been more than a means to an end. Even when I've made it seem that way."

Lisbon closed her eyes deciding she didn't need to hear all of this. It wasn't making anything easier.

"What's your excuse?" Jane asked quietly.

She'd gotten so swept up in the unexpected nothing else mattered. It was a train wreck ten years in the making and one she should have seen coming. She'd suspected Jane had feelings of some kind or the other towards her. He'd said as much even if he'd backpedaled in typical Jane fashion. She'd known she had feelings for him even if she'd not been totally willing to acknowledge them. They'd been playing with fire for years. Spontaneous combustion was always a possibility.

She _was_ talking about _them._

"I don't have one." Lisbon admitted.

"Neither do I." Jane agreed.

"While I wish we'd gotten careless under better circumstances," Jane ran his hands lightly up and down her arm. "I do not for one moment regret loving you." Jane dropped a kiss on her hair. "Don't." He silenced her when she would have spoken. "Accept my words for what they are and let them go. We'll talk after he's caught when we have the right. When it won't make it that much harder for both of us to accept this is the way it has to be for now. We can only hope it won't be this way forever."

"I hate you sometimes." Lisbon said without venom.

"No, you don't." Jane squeezed her a little tighter. "You feel very differently towards me and your feelings are reciprocated. Enough said."

Biting her tongue to keep from urging him to clarify, Lisbon accepted Jane's spiel at face value. He couldn't get any clearer without actually saying the words and she didn't want him to. Not yet. She knew he was right. It would only make their situation more unbearable than it already was and the bearing hadn't even begun.

"You'll be alright for a few more weeks." Jane flipped gears knowing Lisbon was hanging onto his every word. "What's going to start the whispers is one of your eagle-eyed colleagues noticing the changes down here." Jane placed his palm against her lower belly through her shirt. "They probably won't say anything for a while. Not until they're fairly sure they won't end up with egg on their face. But, about the time they figure out you haven't be eating too many case closed pizza slices for a few weeks running, they're going to start sniffing around in ways neither of us really want. Are you ready for that?"

"Is that your way of asking me if I'm going to be ready for Hollister when she corners me in the John to ask if I have a bun in the over or if I'm just getting fat?" Lisbon asked mesmerized by the hand resting so familiarly against her skin.

"Something like that." Jane closed his eyes and splayed his fingers against her belly as though visualizing their child developing within her womb.

Knowing Jane, he probably was.

"Yeah, Jane, I will because I don't have a choice." Lisbon said resting her fingers on top of the hand resting against her skin.

"You have a choice." Jane reminded her unnecessarily.

"Not one I'm willing to take." Lisbon resisted the urge to smack him for intimating such a thing.

Jane nuzzled her neck in response.

"Isn't that what got us in trouble in the first place?" She asked wishing it could get them in trouble now.

"No, it wasn't." Jane chuffed against her skin. "It was your response to the nuzzling."

"Right." Lisbon recalled she'd briefly thought he'd lost his mind. "Do it again."

That was before she'd known where his thoughts were heading.

She'd soon changed _her _mind.

"I don't think that's wise, My Dear." Jane reminded her. "Things have a habit of getting out of hand when I do and neither of us wants that to happen."

"We both want it to get out of hand." Lisbon corrected him. "We just know it can't."

Not for a few weeks. Once she was assured there was no danger to her baby, all bets were off. Jane would so go along with her and they'd be sneaking around again. She'd guarantee that. Maybe not often; but, enough neither of them would doubt their feelings.

Or the fact they'd be together once all of this was over.

She could be quite persistent when warranted and she wasn't giving up. Maybe she would have before; but, not with a love child between them. She wasn't letting a demented, faceless monster deny them the life they should have. Nor was he denying her lover the child so undeniably his.

Jane could just get over it.

Besides, she wasn't stupid enough to believe Red John wouldn't at least suspect the truth when word got out she was pregnant. Neither did Jane. They'd just discussed it. She could only hope, like her lover, he wouldn't act without definitive proof he wasn't getting. There was nothing in her medical files indicating anything that would lead back to Jane. Anything that could, Laura had falsified in her records. Truthfully, she hoped Red John wouldn't act at all. That his love of the game would override his twisted sense of vengeance. That would be wonderful.

But, her greatest fear was one she wasn't sure Jane had considered yet: the one saying Red John would wait until after their child was born.

"Teresa?" Jane didn't like that shiver so strongly flowing through her.

"Have you given any thought to the possibility he won't do anything until after the baby's born?" Lisbon asked. "That he might actually wait until the moment we decide he's no longer interested in us and let our guard down to strike?"

"That isn't going to happen." Jane ran his hands up and down her arms in a reassuring manner. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep both of you safe and very much alive.

Even if that means staying as far away from you as I can and letting the world believe our child was fathered by another man. You have to understand it isn't what I want to do."

"It's what you have to." Lisbon finished for him. "I do. We made it through Lorelei. We can make it through this."

"Yes, we can." Jane agreed. "Teresa, you have to have some inkling I intend to do what's right as soon as we're able."

"You mean as soon as he's caught." Lisbon didn't question his intent at all.

"I think we should re-evaluate once she's born and youre back in fighting form." Jane said quietly. "If he's never caught, I don't intend spending the rest of my life denying you or our daughter. However, as we've already agreed, I do think that's the wisest course of action throughout your pregnancy. You aren't at your best at the moment and you're much too vulnerable."

"I can live with that." Lisbon snuggled back against his chest enjoying the feel of Jane's shirt clad arms around her and his vest against her back.

"I can too." Jane agreed as he pulled her oversized jersey slowly up her thighs and over her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Lisbon resisted the urge to pull her sleep shirt back down.

"I want to see my child." Jane answered honestly as he studied her still flat tummy deciding the woman was much too skinny.

They'd had several nasty cases in a row which meant Lisbon usually lost a few pounds she didn't need to lose. It wasn't deliberate and it wasn't because she had a weak stomach. Far from it as it seemed there was nothing she and Rigsby couldn't eat. It was more that she got so wrapped up in her cases she often forgot to eat. Add the touch of morning sickness he knew she'd been suffering, and she'd probably dropped a good five or six pounds since he'd last seen her naked.

"There's nothing to see but the lint in my belly button." Lisbon rolled her eyes. "You should know that. You've already had a child."

Hands itching to cover her mouth, Lisbon regretted her words the minute they poured out.

"Yes, I have." Jane calmly concurred. "That's why I know there's plenty to see if you know where to look. Not that I want anyone else looking at you this intimately. Not if they're male."

Lisbon felt his hands tighten possessively.

"That might be a little difficult if my doctor is male." She reminded him.

"But she isn't." Jane said.

"Not at the moment." Lisbon agreed. "But that might change."

"We'll worry about that when it happens." As long as her health care givers were competent, he didn't care the gender of her physicians as long as she was getting the best medical care possible. "Right now I'm more interested in getting back to what I was doing."

"Which is what exactly?" Lisbon's tone was slightly exasperated.

"An examination of my own." Jane pulled her jersey over her head.

"Hey, no fair." Lisbon was glad she'd resisted the urge to just pull her sleep shirt over her head as she had nothing to hide Jane hadn't already seen.

Her change of plans might have had a lot to do with the fact she was fast discovering she was far more comfortable wearing a bra than not. Who knew her breasts would be sore so early into her pregnancy? She guessed she ought to start reading that book Laura had given her she'd been avoiding like the plague. It might help her get through all the things she didn't know about. While she'd certainly helped raise her brothers, she'd been too young to remember much about her mother's pregnancies and she'd certainly not spent much time around pregnant women since.

"Relax, Teresa, you're adequately covered considering how intimate we've been." Jane dismissed her comfortable bra and panties as an unnecessary reminder of what they wouldn't be doing.

"Shush, Jane." Lisbon closed her eyes enjoying the sound of his voice and the feel of his fingers against her skin.

"Well, from what I can see, your breasts are already fuller. Nothing anyone else would notice yet; but, you're going to need a larger bra soon. Not that I'm complaining." And not that he'd get to appreciate her increasing bounty either. "In a few weeks you may start noticing a faint line appearing from here to here and possibly running all the way up." Jane ran his hand vertically from her belly button to her pubic bone. "You're fairer skinned; but, I'd be surprised if the linea niagra doesn't appear. It's perfectly normal so there's no reason for concern. You'll read about it in those books you've got hidden on that shelf over there. I just thought you should have a heads up in case it appeared before you got around to reading the necessary chapters." Jane's hand rested on her lower belly. "You're already starting to get that slight rounding here that's going to betray everything in a few weeks. It isn't noticeable to anyone else but me at the moment. While being in as good a shape as you are may delay it somewhat, your petite size still means you're probably going to show sooner rather than later."

"You think?" That hadn't been what she wanted to hear.

"I do." Jane agreed.

"So I better get prepared for Hollister earlier than I expected." Lisbon cursed softly accepting the fact she already knew who was going to out her ahead of the curve.

The woman had had a crush on Jane for a long time and openly resented her friendship with him. Given Hollister's feelings, she would expose her for no other reason than forcing a wedge between them. "Proving" to Jane exactly how much, or how little, he really meant to his handler.

The whole idea was preposterous. Given they'd never purported to be more than friends, why the CBI's lead gossipmonger would think Jane would be hurt she'd gotten pregnant by another man was beyond her. Common sense would dictate he'd be happy for her as long as she was happy.

Then again, common sense really didn't have much to do with their situation. Lisbon honestly suspected the people around them had been seeing the very attraction they'd been denying for years. If that was true, it was only going to complicate their situation and cause suspicions they'd rather not have bantied about.

She had a feeling they'd have to reevaluate their plan several times along the way. Nothing was going to be as cut and dried as it seemed.

"I think you might." Jane agreed resting his hand lightly against her belly.

"I can do that." Lisbon closed her eyes deciding she'd worry about Hollister another day. "How long are you going to stay?"

"Until you fall asleep." Jane kissed her hair. "I'll carry you upstairs and tuck you in then I'll let myself out."

He figured that would take all of another half hour at most. Lisbon could barely keep her eyes open as it was.

"I'd like that." Lisbon snuggled into his neck.

"Then that's what I'll do." Jane adjusted the throw pillows a little more comfortably behind his back as he shifted Lisbon against him not all that surprised she was already a dead weight against his chest.

Angela used to nod off the same way when she was carrying Charlotte Anne.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here I go breaking the rules again! What else is new?

Just a few words of reassurance for my not fond of angst readers, we're not going off the deep end here! I promise. My idea of angst and what some hard-core writers call angst are totally different! That doesn't mean I'm not going to write this piece the way I feel it – it does mean it'll have that happy ending I always write.

It just might take a little while to get there and there might be a few tears along the way.

I do promise this isn't another Settling the Score. I am not ready to tackle another one of those any time soon! I'd over warn you anyway!

As for the angst, how much more angsty do we really have to get than stupidly staying apart for all the right reasons when you just want to be together?

And, Tina, you mustn't stop being my buddy as I always look forward to hearing from you! Unfortunately, I tend to like to write a little angsty at times. I thank you for sticking with me!

MeganP, I don't intend to beat my readers up too much. If I push it a little too far, I'll make up for it along the way and certainly by the ending.

Later,

Calla


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews.

Sorry this is a short nothing chapter; but, I need to get back in the flow of things and set up future chapters that are already being written. I'm finding this story works best when I write four or five chapters simultaneously so that's how it'll post. I takes me a while to get in the right emotional mind set to _feel_ this story so I try to stay there for a while when I do. You'll see the next several chapters as I get them written. ~Calla

#####

Glancing at his watch Jane realized he'd been sprawled on the couch with an armful of drooling Lisbon for close to two hours and a good hour longer than he should have been. He must have dozed off some time after nine. Not something he'd meant to do. While he needed the rest, he should have been gone long ago. However, on the upside, it was much too early in the game to worry about anyone watching them any closer than they had in the past so he wasn't overly concerned about his screw up.

It also wasn't uncommon for them to spend several hours at a time working on cases at Lisbon's place. She'd brought her briefcase full of files home with just that intent. It was a well known fact such sessions often went late into the night. As long as he was gone by twelve or one, there shouldn't be a problem. It was well within the boundaries of their past behaviors. In truth, nothing they'd done was out of the scope of their normal activities based on external appearances.

Were a voyeur a fly on the wall, the truth would be very different.

They'd never even thought about becoming lovers in the decade before. Well, maybe they had. But neither of them had ever broached the subject with the other. Or intimated their relationship should be anything more than the deep, abiding friendship it was. A friendship fueling a decade of unsubstantiated whispers and rumors proving nothing more than wicked lies whispered in the light of day.

Until that fateful night everything changed when they'd made a child between them.

Running his hand lightly over Lisbon's back careful not to wake her, Jane allowed his thoughts to wander yet again. Wiping his hand over his eyes he contemplated the dilemma they suddenly found themselves in. A situation he admitted was mostly of his making. And one he couldn't _regret_ no matter how difficult the coming months proved to be. Lisbon might have opened the door to their togetherness with her actions; but, he'd chosen to walk through with eyes wide open fully cognizant there might be unforeseen consequences.

Refusing to see his lover's "difficulties" as anything more than they were claimed to be, Jane silently vowed everything would be okay. Lisbon was a vibrant, healthy woman of child-bearing age. She took good care of herself and she'd take even better now that their lives were so intimately intertwined. He'd see to that. Not that he thought he'd need to. As a result of their diligence, nothing would happen to their child.

That being said, Jane freely admitted, in the hours since he'd learned she carried such a precious gift within her, he'd already envisioned Lisbon in every stage of her pregnancy.

And he'd imagined all the beautiful moments he would never see.

As repulsive as the thought might seem, he'd give anything to hold Lisbon's hair back from her face while she was ill. Give anything to wipe her face with a cool, damp rag and flush the toilet. Offer her a toothbrush and carry her back to bed. Sadly, he'd get to do none of those simple things he'd done for Angela.

Even worse, he'd never accompany her to a doctor's appointment. Never hold her hand while a transducer ran over her belly revealing their first grainy glimpses of their child. In fact, he thought she'd already had the first sonogram. No, he knew she had. That little envelope she'd offered him earlier still lay on the countertop unopened. Somehow, they'd gotten distracted by real life and it's existence had slipped his mind until now. He definitely needed to take a look though he knew the image he saw wouldn't look like much compared to what he'd see later. It was still Madeleine. And, yes, they'd already named their daughter. Or rather Lisbon had…Maddie's name was one of the many things she'd contemplated on her walks around the pond.

She'd known she wanted to name her son after him, and her father; but, she'd agonized over the fact that she couldn't.

Not openly anyway.

A daughter was another matter.

She wanted to name her after two women who meant everything to her. The women ensuring she still lived to bring a child into the world. She'd shared her wish with him a few minutes after she'd revealed her pregnancy. He'd readily agreed. He held Hightower in great esteem and Van Pelt, well, what could he say? She was still their Gracie after all these years and he loved her for it.

Jane smiled remembering it hadn't been nearly as easy to name Charlotte Anne.

Then, he frowned at the thought the world would one day know that tiny bundle of life as Madeleine Grace Lisbon when she was, in fact, Madeleine Grace Jane. That didn't sit well with him. Nothing about this situation did. Especially not the part saying Maddie was fathered by some faceless cretin wanting nothing to do with her. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

How could any man not want his child?

He knew it happened; but, he couldn't fathom it. Comprehend the how or the why of such an aberration. That being said, Jane admitted, behind closed doors, he wasn't coping that well with either the idea of impending fatherhood or the probability his offspring was a daughter. As stupid as it sounded to think, there was a big damned difference between knowing such a thing _could_ happen in the heat of the moment and in actually having it happen.

While he'd been a good father and loved every moment of it in another life a long time ago, the thought of becoming a parent again in the nightmare he was living had never seriously crossed his mind. And the thought of doing so with Lisbon was never a possibility. Random, meaningless midnight fantasies aside, he'd never expected to get that close to the woman and he'd certainly never expected her to conceive if he did.

But, he had, and she had...and the truth had yet to really sink in.

While the panicked part of him wanted to head for the hills, and felt justified in doing so, he wasn't abandoning either Lisbon or his child. Nothing could be farther from his mind. It wasn't his style to shirk his familial responsibility nor, more importantly, did he want to. Even to keep them safe. He just wished the experience weren't so bittersweet on too many levels.

And he wished Red John was locked in that box where he belonged. At this point, he didn't really care if it was the one with the bars or the other six feet under. He'd be happy with either place.

He wished, as well, that Lisbon already had a ring on her finger and him by her side. That was the normal way of things in his universe. He wished he was free to tell her he loved her. And, that while Madeleine's existence was knocking him for a loop at the moment, everything would be alright in the end. He was sure of that. He would eventually come to terms as he got his mind around the possibilities. In fact, a long dormant part of him was already anticipating midnight feedings and diaper changes. He only hoped he had those opportunities in the future as none of that was possible now.

Jane's frown deepened as he realized the similarities between his old life and his new.

He hadn't been there for Angela as much as he should have been while she was pregnant any more than he could be here for Lisbon. While it hadn't been a serial killer keeping them apart, it had been his dedication to his work. He'd been quite devoted to thrill of the con and the lifestyle it gave them. And with a baby on the way, he'd been more obsessed than ever with expanding his client list so that his child could have the best he could offer.

Jane shook his head at the memories. Servicing his well-heeled clientele had taken him away most of the day and a good part of the night. His wife understood. Truthfully, she'd encouraged him up to a point knowing he didn't really want to be there through the unpleasantness. It was only later, when Charlotte Anne was older, that she'd urged him to quite the business.

Obviously, that was something he hadn't been willing to do.

With hindsight, quitting was something he could have easily done. Their home was paid for. They'd amassed a nest egg large enough to keep them in the style to which they'd grown accustomed for a number of years. Without ever touching Charlotte Anne's college fund. There had been nothing to stop him. Jane admitted as madly in love as he'd been with the mother of his child back then, he'd still been a fool in many ways.

His stubbornness had cost him everything.

Fortunately, he wasn't that fool any longer. He wouldn't make the same mistakes he'd made in the past. Whether he could actually be there or not, Lisbon would never doubt how badly he wanted to be in spite of the demons he struggled with…Both the very real serial killer dogging his life and the ones residing in his head.

Carefully shifting her as he rolled up, Jane wasn't surprised Lisbon did little more than whimper softly as he rose to his feet and lifted her in his arms. Heading for the stairs, it never ceased to amaze him that she wasn't as light as she looked. Entering her bedroom, he laid her carefully on the bed she hadn't bothered making this morning and instantly knew she'd been running late. She'd probably gotten sick which would have delayed her. That was the only conceivable reason he could see such a transgression being tolerated.

Given how hard Lisbon worked to keep her personal life in order given the chaos of her professional life, Jane was still surprised she hadn't made up her bed first thing upon arriving home. Then again, from the looks of things she'd wallowed out a nest and rested for a while instead instead. It was a reasonable action considering her condition. After that, he was sure she'd taken a shower or a bath before donning her jammies and waiting for his arrival.

"You leaving?" Lisbon mumbled sleepily as Jane tucked the covers under her chin.

"It's pushing eleven so I probably should." Jane reluctantly concurred knowing he didn't want to leave. "If anyone's watching, they need to see me depart at a reasonable hour."

"Then I'll see you in the morning." Lisbon smiled at the thought he'd probably bring her an apple instead of her usual muffin or pastry.

"Yes, you will." Jane leaned over to drop a kiss on her head.

"Not good enough." Lisbon lifted her finger to her lips.

Kneeling by the side of the bed, Jane wasn't surprised when she turned sleep laden eyes to gaze longingly into his.

"You have to know I would stay if it was possible." He whispered before leaning over to press his lips lightly against hers.

"I know." Lisbon leaned into his kiss knowing Jane's best intentions and what he'd actually do were two very different things.

The man could tell himself he could stay away all he wanted; but, she knew differently. It was only a matter of time before they betrayed themselves. Not necessarily to the higher ups or their fellow Agents at large who only saw them passing through. But, her team was a different matter. They were around them all the time and, as much as she hated the thought, it wouldn't necessarily be Rigsby or Van Pelt who would notice the truth.

It would be Cho.

The man saw entirely too much for her peace of mind.

Definitely Cho.

She knew Wayne wouldn't look below the surface of their interactions as he wouldn't want to know. She was fairly confident he'd remain oblivious by choice. Besides, as he'd been caught in a similar situation with Sarah, there was nothing he could say. Common sense dictated he'd do everything in his power to remain nonjudgmental as she hadn't judged him.

Grace would remain so angry with Jane on general principles for a while that she'd miss what was right in front of her face. Her disbelief that he was acting like a brat and not supporting their Boss in her hour of need would consume her. The thought would never cross her mind the man she was so put out with could possibly be the father of Lisbon's child.

Cho was a different animal. He was much too observant and methodical. He would see the subtle changes between them for what they were and he'd confront her. Or he might confront Jane. Lisbon wasn't sure she was ready for the day he called them out. It might get seriously ugly before it got better. She hoped not.

That was just what she needed.

Cho telling them both how stupid they'd been.

As if she didn't already know it.

Reaching out, she grasped Jane's hand.

"Don't go, Patrick." Lisbon said hating the begging note in her voice. "It's about time for your bi-monthly night on my couch anyway."

Glancing at the bedside clock and deciding she had a point, he did seem to end up camping out on her couch at least once every couple of months, Jane made a split second decision. There really wasn't any reason he couldn't give her tonight. It wasn't like they'd get up to any mischief. It didn't really matter either way as they were already caught. Besides, she had a point. Given events at work lately, he probably would have ended up on her couch tonight anyway.

Lisbon had been his shelter in the storm for years.

That was strange really when he thought about it. That her role had become so vital to the fabric of his existence when she'd done little more than offer her couch for the night. Oh, and press a few comfy blankets and pillows into his arms. And sometimes offer a willing ear to listen on those rare occasions he'd been willing to talk.

Mostly, she'd left him alone.

For all of that, he would credit the woman looking so soulfully at him for keeping him grounded when he'd wanted nothing more than putting a bullet through his brain.

"I'll be right back." Jane patted her hand as he pressed his palms to the mattress and rose to his feet.

Walking into the guest room, Jane quickly changed from his suit into his pajama bottoms. He really didn't feel the need to don the top. It wasn't like Lisbon had never seen his chest or that she'd had any complaints when she did. Quite the contrary. She seemed rather fond of his chest, and well as other parts, as he was rather fond of her chest. And other parts. Smirking at his wayward thoughts, Jane carefully hung his suit in the closet before heading for Lisbon's room.

Sliding under the covers on his side of the bed, Jane reached for her pulling Lisbon into his arms. Feeling her curling into his chest as she wrapped her legs around him, he couldn't resist kissing her even knowing the slipping and sliding of their tongues was going to get him in trouble.

"I'm sorry." Lisbon pulled back to look him in the eyes.

"About what?" Jane asked knowing exactly what she was referring to.

"That I can't do anything about that." Lisbon admitted.

Jane dropped another kiss on her lips wondering how a woman who could be so carnal could blush over the fact he was undeniably glad to see her.

"Don't let it bother you." Jane's chin rested against her shoulder as his hand lightly caressed her tummy. "It isn't the first time I've been uncomfortable in your presence and it won't be the last. I'm always going to respond to being close to you. I have for a very long time even if you couldn't see it."

"Always is a long time." Lisbon reminded him ignoring the latter part of his statement.

"Not nearly long enough." Jane said softly as he tucked her head under his chin. "Close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" Lisbon's voice was small not quite believing him.

"Promise." Jane reassured her knowing he wasn't about to sneak out.

"Good." Lisbon closed her eyes deciding to trust he wasn't lying to her.

Running his hand down the line of her back one last time, Jane closed his eyes and joined her.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated!~Calla

###

Closing the file on her desk and leaning back in her chair, Lisbon took a couple of deep breaths. She'd caught a whiff of something lingering in the break room causing her stomach to roil and she'd yet to get it under control. While her morning sickness was mostly gone, there were certain aromas that sent her reeling. That stench was definitely one of them. Cigarette smoke was the other. Fortunately, the Bureau had a designated smoking area outside she steered clear of. Unfortunately, they didn't have the same for noxious food odors.

Losing the fight, Lisbon exited her office in the direction of the old bathroom the CBI had yet to renovate. The one almost everyone avoided like the plague except the cleaning crew. Hopefully no one would be hiding out when she got there. The only time anyone ever used the depressing facilities, other than her, was when the regular ladies room was overcrowded which didn't happen that often.

Noting the three open stalls, Lisbon selected one pulling the door closed behind her. A few minutes later she decided she hadn't been this ill in a couple of weeks. Whatever O'Keefe had heated in the microwave was wickedly stinky and she was literally praying to God he didn't do it again. Wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet, Lisbon prepared to exit the stall when the unmistakable aroma of cigarette smoke assaulted her nostrils.

To make matters worse, it wasn't just any cigarette smoke. It was menthol cigarette smoke and her stomach was churning alarmingly. Turning to hurl yet again, Lisbon silently cursed whoever had sneaked into the bathroom unnoticed while the toilet was flushing to light up her worst nightmare. Throwing her guts up, Lisbon finally decided her stomach was truly empty and wiped her mouth yet again before flushing the toilet.

"Hey, Teresa, there's no point in hiding out in there." Lisbon covered her face as she silently mouthed every cuss word she could think of. "I'd know those boots anywhere."

Opening the stall door, Lisbon stepped out to confront the last person she wanted to hear her tossing her cookies.

"I wasn't hiding, Annie." Lisbon rinsed her mouth before confronting Hollister's knowing look. "I was puking my guts up. It must have been something I ate."

"That's what we all say." Hollister continued applying lip gloss to her much too perfect lips. "The truth is more a case of are you pregnant, Teresa, or just getting fat?"

"Excuse me?" Lisbon gazed at the other woman in disbelief.

"You don't need to answer that one." The perky blonde put her lip gloss tin back in her purse before lifting her eyes to study Lisbon's reflection in the mirror. "I already know the answer. I've heard the evidence and I've seen the decaf."

"I told you I was having trouble sleeping." Lisbon quickly brushed her teeth before dabbing a touch of lipstick on her lips.

"You've never had trouble sleeping in all the years I've known you." Hollister called her lie. "Let's see…The dreaded decaf plus puking plus weight gain…Do I have to spell it out for you? When's the baby due?"

"Hollister, honestly, I'm not going to stand here having this conversation with you." Lisbon grabbed her purse and made for the door.

"I'm not through talking yet." Hollister continued in a dangerous tone. "You've got twenty-four hours to come clean before I tell everyone what I suspect."

"Why would you do that?" Lisbon asked. "You're only going to look like a fool when you're wrong."

"I don't think so; but, it won't be the first time, so I'll take that risk." Hollister studied her up and down in a brazen manner. "I'd start with Jane if I was you. We both know you're going to have trouble from that direction. The bigger you get, the more it's going to interfere with the Red John case and he's not going to like that. Why don't you go ahead and bow out now. Maybe they'll reassign the case to my unit. I'd love to work with him."

"I'm sure you would." Lisbon resisted the urge to punch the much taller woman. "But, as you're as full of crap as a Christmas turkey, I wouldn't hold my breath on that happening."

"I wouldn't bet on it." Hollister challenged.

Giving the other woman a dirty look, Lisbon walked out the door without a backward glance murmuring, "Shit, shit, shit!" under her breath as she headed across the hall towards her office.

#####

Running her hand through her hair, Lisbon rested her hand against the slight curve of her tummy before leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, all hell had to break loose. That had been twenty minutes ago. She couldn't believe her luck in having the worst possible person enter that bathroom at the most inopportune moment.

"I still don't regret a thing so don't go thinking I do." Lisbon spoke softly choosing to believe Madeleine could hear her while knowing she probably couldn't.

She didn't either.

Regret a thing that is.

Not slipping into her froggy pajamas, or letting Jane slip her out of them, or anything that happened over the course of the weekend afterwards.

Nor did she regret the craziness since. How could she? She was having a child and not just any child…Jane's child…The only child she'd ever fantasized about having.

Opening her eyes, Lisbon admitted the man was right. She did need someone in her life and not just a lover…She'd been lying when she said she'd never given marriage much thought…Not the institution which, truthfully, she didn't think that much about…But the who whe wouldn't mind marrying.

She'd given quite a bit of thought over the years to what it would be like to be married to Jane.

It had started innocently enough soon after she'd met him the first time not that long after she'd been given the Red John Case. Being a diligent detective, she'd wondered what their marriage had been like. It was clear that Patrick Jane had loved his family. And that he was still devastated.

Eventually he'd come to work with her (certainly not _for_ her) and her perspective had changed. The man had driven her batty on a good day! She'd pitied Angela Jane as she'd come to realize the woman was not only beautiful; but, a saint as well. She'd had to be to handle such a man.

Her perspective had changed time and again over the years. What had first been pity had grown to grudging respect to trust to genuine friendship and, finally, to something more. The day she'd finally accepted she'd fallen head over ass in love with Patrick Jane had been a real slap in the face. She'd promptly shoved the emotion deep inside never to be visited again.

Until Jane nuzzled her neck and the lock on that imaginary box shattered.

The rest was history.

"You sent for me?" Jane poked his head through Lisbon's open doorway.

"Nope, but we do need to talk." Lisbon wondered for the millionth time how he did that.

Not how he opened locked doors. She understood that. He picked them. But, how he knew she needed him before she even knew it. As strange as it seemed, sometimes she did the same with him. They just seemed to be in tune like that.

"What's up, My Dear." Jane stepped into her office and locked the door behind him.

"Hollister outed me a while ago." Lisbon said quietly. "Actually, she hasn't outed me yet. I have until tomorrow to tell you and the guys before she's going to spill what she thinks she knows. I've already invited the team out for dinner tonight and they've accepted. You want to tag along?"

"I don't think that's necessary." Jane said. "Everyone will expect you to tell me separately as you're about to do."

"And they'll expect you to disappear for a few days like you're going to do." Lisbon continued without waiting for Jane to spell it out.

"Can you handle them?" Jane made a motion in the direction of the bullpen. "I'll come with you to the dinner if you think you can't."

"I don't think that's wise. One, or both of us, might accidentally do something to give ourselves away." Lisbon absently nibbled her lip as she weighed the situation. "Whether I think I can or I can't handle the guys, or anyone else, isn't important. That we pull this off and make it believable is."

"Then, yes, I think I will disappear." Jane confirmed what she already knew.

"You'll go to Malibu?" Lisbon asked following his train of thought.

"Maybe." Jane evaded knowing he'd never get anything done at his place. "Now, what I really want to know is how did the Chief Gossip Bitch find out your secret? You aren't showing enough for anyone to think you're with child."

That she'd gained a handful of pounds over the last several months was apparent given her small frame; but, she'd yet to develop that definitive rounding so betraying beneath her jacket. In fact, she'd only regained the weight she'd lost working those nasty cases she shouldn't have lost in the first place. He'd have guessed she had another five to ten pounds before she'd appear enceinte enough to start tongues wagging.

"It seems she sneaks off to that ratty second floor bathroom no one likes to use for a quick smoke every now and then. It was my misfortune to get there first." Lisbon rolled her eyes at the single thing she'd hadn't known blowing her fool proof plan to hell and back. "The minute she lit up, I went into my second round of puking my guts up. When I exited the stall she had those eagle eyes fixated on my belly. It didn't help she's caught me drinking decaff a time or two. I thought I'd taken care of that by saying I was temporarily cutting back on the caffeine because it was starting to interfere with my sleep."

"But coupled with your slight weight gain and morning sickness the Wicked Witch of the CBI couldn't help but add two and two and get four." Jane finished for her.

"Something like that." Lisbon agreed. "And she did ask me point blank if I was pregnant or just getting fat."

Lisbon couldn't help laughing repeating as she repeated the rude remark sounding so much like the other woman.

"That sounds like her." Jane's tone summed up how much he actively disliked the other agent. "While the exterior packaging is undeniably beautiful, the inner woman is nasty to the core."

"I guess she is." Lisbon agreed. "I know what doing for now. I'm going to finish looking over the Brookstone case then I'm going to a dinner I never wanted to have. You still haven't said exactly what you're going to do."

"I'm not quite sure." Jane kissed her forehead as he turned to go. "I need to make a phone call or two before I decide."

"And I need to know what's next." Lisbon placed a restraining hand on his arm. "Tell me what you're going to do, Jane. Trust me to play along as I've done before. I know you don't think I can."

"Actually, in this instance, I think you can." Jane made a split second decision he hoped he wouldn't regret as the stakes were so high. "What I think I'm going to do is leave for the rest of the day. I'll go to the park where you first told me we were pregnant. I'll think for a while. Call a friend and take him up on his offer to housesit for a couple of days. After that, I'm going to stop by the Farmer's Market to buy a few things and I'm going home. I'm going to pack a bag and drive to Malibu where, as I've already said, I'm going to stay at a friend's house for a few days.

I'm not sure when I'll be back so don't expect me before Monday. If I'm going to be later, I'll give you a call. Otherwise, my phone will be off.

If he's watching and tracking our exchanges, it'll appear to be what it's not."

"That you're upset by my pregnancy." Lisbon said.

"Precisely." Jane agreed as he took a disposable cell from his pocket. "If there's an emergency or you can't handle the fallout, give me a call on this. I'll have the mate on me. My number and the address of where I'll be are written on that folded sticky note in your pocket. Don't lose it or the gig is up."

"It seems like you've thought of everything." Lisbon said as she tucked the cell into the zippered pouch of her purse along with the tiny slip of paper.

"I tried." Jane admitted. "It isn't like we haven't known for a while that this was coming."

"I guess so." Lisbon agreed.

"I won't be gone that long." Jane offered. "When I get back we'll just pretend like nothing happened as we always do."

"I guess we will." Lisbon voice was slightly shaky as she realized the time had come they were both dreading.

Once it got out she was pregnant, Red John would be watching their every move. He'd probably do more than that. While she'd never found a bug in her office, and she hadn't today, she had no doubts that day was coming soon. He wasn't going to simply buy their story any more than anyone else who knew them would. He'd be watching closely for a while.

For all she knew, he might already know.

"Teresa, calm down." Jane took her in his arms. "It's going to be okay."

"I know." Lisbon gripped the lapels of his jacket in a way saying while she was willing to say the words she didn't believe them for one second.

"Do you?" Jane asked. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you and I'm only a phone call away if you need me…I won't even go if you don't want me to."

"You have to go." Lisbon said. "It'll raise too many questions if you don't act like bratty Jane."

"Bratty Jane, huh?" Van Pelt had called him that a time or two.

"Yeah, Bratty Jane." Lisbon gave him a slightly watery smile.

"Then I guess we better get this show on the road." Lifting her up, Jane leaned down press a good bye kiss against Lisbon's lips.

"You can do better than that." She might not get sex from her lover anymore; but, she could sure as heck get a decent tongue tickling kiss out of him.

Complying with her wishes, Jane lifted her arms up around his neck and pulled her tightly against him. Slipping his tongue between her lips, Jane decided if Lisbon wanted a real kiss he'd gladly give her one. It was the least he could do for the mother of his child.

#####

Walking into the popular, midtown restaurant Van Pelt had selected, Lisbon indicated to the hostess her party was already seated. Heading across the room, she noted the place was hoping. Fortunately, her crew had been smart enough to request the table over in the corner away from everyone that no one else wanted. Nodding to her team, she slid into the booth beside Grace.

"Is it true?" Van Pelt asked.

"I see Hollister didn't keep her mouth shut like she promised." Not that she'd expected her to which was why she'd invited her team to dinner five minutes after their encounter in the ladies' room. "Yes, it's true."

"Where's Jane?" Cho went straight for the jugular in his usual style. "Shouldn't he be here?"

"Headed for Malibu I think." Lisbon said quietly.

"He knows?" Cho asked the unnecessary question anyway.

"Yeah, he knows." Lisbon confirmed.

"And he left?" Van Pelt's expression clearly said she was adding up the pieces and drawing an unfavorable conclusion about their Mentalist. "Probably thinks your little bundle of joy will interfere with the search for Red John…What a bastard."

"Grace." Lisbon shook her head at the mutinous expression on Van Pelt's face.

Her red headed Agent had already drawn a conclusion she wasn't going to let go of until she got proof things were otherwise. While it was totally wrong, Lisbon had no intentions of making more than a cursory effort to set her straight. Grace's open hostility at Jane's seemingly selfish response to her news would go a long way in cementing their story in the eyes of their co-workers.

It would make life more difficult for Jane and for her by extension; but, it wouldn't be the first time her Mentalist had been on the outs with one or more of her team for some callous act. It wouldn't be the last she was sure. As much as he'd improved over the years, he still tended to feel the means justified the end when it came to catching the bad guys. Sometimes that belief overrode his sensitivities to his teammate's feelings.

Looking at the rest of her guys, Lisbon decided Rigsby looked uncomfortable while Cho's expression clearly conveyed he thought there was more going on than they were being told. Lisbon decided it didn't matter what he thought. She so wasn't going there. While she would love to tell the three people trying so hard not to stare at her the truth, the she was carrying Jane's baby, she couldn't for so many reasons none of which was she didn't trust them.

First, and foremost, she wasn't willing to put any of them in any additional danger. Their jobs were trying enough. Secondly, it wouldn't be fair to burden them with her secret and expect them to keep silent no matter what happened. Thirdly, the more people who knew the truth, the less likely it was to remain hidden. That was just the way of things.

The list went on and on.

"Shush, Grace, Jane will be back soon with his head on straight." Lisbon said calmly as she tapped her fingers on the tabletop. "This is going to take a while for all of us to get used to. Besides, he's not entirely wrong. As my pregnancy advances, it's going to interfere with all of our cases including Red John…Especially when I go on maternity leave."

"That's all you're going to say?" Grace asked.

"That's all I'm going to say." Lisbon agreed. "Jane's going to be Jane and that's all there is to it. If he wants to go think, let him. It's for the best. Besides, I doubt he'll be back before Monday and I can use the break. We all can.

Oh, and before you ask, you won't be meeting the baby's father. He isn't in our lives. It seems fatherhood wasn't part of his plans so I've agreed to let him off the hook in return for his reliquishing all paternal rights.

Now that I've made that clear, what do you say we order?"

Lisbon opened her menu ignoring the dropped mouths at the bomb she'd just dropped as though a man rejecting his child was the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps if the father had actually rejected his child, or relinquished his paternal rights, she might feel differently. Since he hadn't, she could successfully pull off acting like it was no big deal. She wasn't sure she could have under different circumstances.

"Who's the bastard?" Cho asked in that tone intimating he'd like to have a man to man with the creeper responsible for knocking her up.

"It doesn't matter, Cho." Lisbon said as she opened her menu. "We've talked like civilized human beings and come to the conclusion this is what's best for everyone. Don't make it any more complicated than it already is. I don't want anyone in out life who doesn't want to be here. Besides, I'm not doing anything a million other women aren't doing every day. I'm fully capable of going it alone. Of being a single mother."

"You aren't alone." Van Pelt studied her menu. "You've got us."

"I know that and don't think I don't appreciate it." Lisbon closed her menu and set it aside as they gave their orders to the server discreetly hovering about. "I wouldn't expect it to be any other way.

Don't get me wrong, I know none of this is going to be easy. I'm only about four months along so I still have a long way to go. But, it's not like I have a whole lot of choice in the matter. I just have to do what I have to do."

Lisbon looked around the table at the agreeing nods.

"Ideally, I'd have preferred not to have been cornered by Hollister and forced to admit everything before I was ready. I always intended inviting you out to share my news when the time was right. I'd planned to do that in the next week or two as I'm beginning to show. It didn't happen that way, so here we are.

All I can say is, while I'm not crazy about how it happened, I am happy to be pregnant. My doctor's aren't one hundred percent sure; but, it appears I'm having a girl. If that's true, I'm naming her Madeleine Grace Lisbon after Hightower and Van Pelt."

Lisbon laughed at the squeal she'd expected to hear from Grace and at the smiles she'd known would light her male Agent's faces. If you could call that slight upturning of Cho's lips a smile. Rigsby's grin, on the other hand, bordered on the idiotic it was so large. He was happy if Grace was happy as she clearly was.

"You're naming your kid after me?" Van Pelt's voice held a tinge of disbelief.

"I don't want to name her after me." Lisbon's eyes lit up at the sight of her appetizer. "So, I decided to name her after the two toughest chicks I know."

Lisbon refused to tell Grace the real reason for her actions. That she owed her and Hightower big for saving her. She didn't want to remind her of O'Laughlin and what she'd been forced to do when she was doing so well.

"You're calling her Madeleine aren't you?" Van Pelt asked knowing the answer without asking.

"It would get confusing with two Graces hanging around." Lisbon watched their server setting everyone's appetizers in front of them wishing the woman would hurry so she could dig in.

"Yes, it would." Van Pelt took a bite of Rigsby's nachos. "You're calling her "Maddie" aren't you?"

"I think so." Lisbon agreed nibbling her buffalo wing. "Madeleine's too big a name for a little girl. What do you say Uncle Cho? Should we call her "Maddie?"

"Yeah." Cho agreed as he snatched a nacho from Rigsby's plate as well in retaliation for the other man eating his doughnut earlier in the day. "We should call her Maddie."

"What do you think, Rigsby?" Lisbon decided she couldn't leave Wayne out even if he was more interested in stuffing his face.

"Uh, yeah, it works for me." Rigsby's ears turned red as he realized he'd been caught being more intent on stuffing his face than listening to the conversation around him.

"You don't even know what we were talking about." Lisbon laughed good naturedly deciding maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad as she'd feared. She might even enjoy herself. In fact, she already was.

Her team was taking her news much better than she'd thought they would.

And, nothing about their responses indicated they even considered the possibility Jane might be the father.

Thank God for small blessings.

#####

Sitting across the desk from Gale Bertram, Lisbon fidgeted in her chair. She'd been summoned to the Big Boss's office first thing. She didn't have to wonder about what.

She did wonder exactly what the man was going to say.

"Lisbon, that kid's not Jane's is it?" Bertram asked bluntly.

Staring into his eyes Lisbon snorted in disbelief he'd dared ask her such a thing.

"Why would you think that?" Lisbon's offended tone indicated what she thought of his question.

It also reflected that she was keeping the fact Bertram's name was high on that list at the front of her mind. She couldn't afford to play this one wrong. Even if he wasn't Red John, the man could be one of his higher ups.

"The two of you are close." Bertram's gaze never wavered.

"Yeah, I'm close to Rigsby and Cho, too." Lisbon snapped letting the fire light her eyes. "But, I'm not sleeping with them either. Never have. Never will."

"Not that close." Bertram countered.

"And not that crazy." Lisbon leaned into his desk refusing to back down at his audacity.

"Just wanted to make sure." Bertram leaned back in his chair clearly satisfied with her answer. "I'm to assume the father has chosen not to be involved in any of this."

"You've assumed right." Lisbon's gaze didn't falter as she stood on the fact that while she wasn't telling the truth, she wasn't exactly lying either. Jane wasn't in her life in the capacity either of them wanted him to be. "And I've chosen to respect his feelings. He's moved on with his life and I'm moving on with mine."

"I see." Bertram said as though he didn't like what he was seeing. "I'm sorry to hear that."

And he was. Lisbon was a good Agent and a good woman. He didn't particularly care to see her being treated so shabbily. She deserved better.

Even if she did, on occasion, make his life miserable by siding with Jane.

"Getting back to Jane, how's he taking all of this?" Bertram asked what he really wanted to know.

"How do you think?" Lisbon visibly relaxed.

"You haven't seen him since yesterday." Bertram said letting her know he was clearly in the loop even if he had given her a day of grace before he'd invited her into his office for the delicate discussion they were now having.

"Actually, he showed up at my place for a rather unpleasant discussion last night. We had words and he left." Lisbon embellished the truth. "I don't expect to see him for another few days. He wasn't pleased I hadn't told him about this sooner."

Jane had actually stopped by her place to make sure she was alright on his way out of town. He'd cooked her dinner and they'd spent a good half hour talking before he'd left. He'd given her a kiss and said a few nasty words on his way out the door in case anyone who shouldn't be was listening. Words that were absolutely meaningless to them; but, priceless to someone like Hollister if she happened to following Jane around.

"He wasn't pleased about any of it." Bertram observed. "You're pregnancy is going to impede his search for Red John."

"I suppose it will eventually." Lisbon agreed.

"I've always found Jane an ungrateful bastard." Bertram fiddled with a file on his desk signaling their interview was coming to an end. "You've done a lot for him over the years."

"I suppose I have." Lisbon agreed. "But, he solves cases."

"That he does." Bertram agreed. "It's the only reason I keep him around. Carry on, Lisbon. If you need anything, or Jane doesn't fall into line as soon as he should, let me know. I can forget he serves a purpose if he steps too far out of line."

"Yes, Sir." Lisbon said before walking towards the door grateful the seriously weird conversation was over. "And I don't think that will be necessary. I'm sure Jane will eventually come around."

"I certainly hope so." Bertram said pressing his fingers together already lost in thought. "My door is always open if you need anything."

"I'll keep that in mind." Knowing she was dismissed, Lisbon rose to her feet and headed for the door grateful to have survived the meeting secret intact.

At least she thought it was.

All she needed now was for Minelli to suddenly crawl out of the woodwork and she knew that was coming. About the time he got wind of her predicament which wouldn't be long. She wasn't looking forward to that one. She wouldn't be able to fool her surrogate father as easily as she had her Boss.

Virgil knew her much too well.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews and for sticking with this story. ~Calla

#####

Shielding his eyes as he glanced indirectly at the sun, Jane concluded he'd been walking the beach for a good hour…maybe an hour and a half. He needed to turn around and head back before he ended up in Timbuktu. That was much farther from the house than he wanted to walk. Changing directions, he decided on the upside, the rocky stretch of beach surrounding him was deserted for as far as the eye could see and he was grateful for it.

Running into another chatty Cathy on his early morning stroll wasn't what he needed.

Goodness knows he'd done enough of that the past couple of days. How he'd managed to encounter the only other beings on the beach and have them stick to his side like butt ugly Remoras was beyond him. All he'd wanted to do was be alone to think. That hadn't happened. Fortunately, today he'd gotten lucky. No one had accosted him. He hadn't had to endure any poking, prodding, or flirting. Instead, he _had_ been left to his thoughts.

And what thoughts they were.

His inner voice was ceaselessly reminding him what a coward he was to leave Lisbon to deal with the fallout of Annie Hollister. He totally agreed. If he were half the man she deserved, he'd be glued to her side daring anyone to utter a sound that wasn't a heartfelt 'congratulations' on their happy "accident." Anyone who dared say anything else could step straight to Hell. That included Gale Bertram and the shadowy monster in the shadows.

Unfortunately, he couldn't do that as there were some monsters it wasn't wise to poke.

So, instead of doing what he wanted to do and being where he wanted to be, Lisbon was in Sacramento and he was hiding out in Malibu.

And, in spite of everything, she was still speaking to him.

Actually, she was doing more than that. Lisbon was keeping him in the loop where their daughter was concerned. Even if he'd been keeping the walls firmly in place between them since that night two months ago when she'd allowed him to innocently hold her for hours on end and marvel they'd created a child between them. And though the hurt in her eyes since tore another jagged hole in his soul, it was for the best. They both knew that.

Turning around, Jane closed his eyes and thought about the two sonograms locked away in his safe deposit box. His daughter wasn't much to see yet. That being said, the second sonogram was fairly conclusive in proving their child was a "she." Madeleine was approximately the size of sweet potato and about as interesting in the still shot. He knew differently. Looks were deceiving. A lot was going on in there. Maddie's eyelashes, senses, and organs were developing. She was gradually becoming the person they would meet in a few short months and he was fortunate her mommy wanted her daddy in on as much of her journey into being as he could share from afar.

Even if said daddy was acting like the biggest Jackass in the world with just cause.

While Jane still believed he could beat Red John in the end, he wasn't willing to view Lisbon or their child as expendable pieces on the board. He wasn't willing to be any more involved in their lives than he currently was. He couldn't afford to be. No, until he knew it was Check and Mate, they'd continue to spin their web of lies and they'd all suffer for it praying that it would end one day in the best possible ways.

Recognizing he was fast approaching his temporary home, Jane was amazed at how fast he'd traveled in a short period of time. Or maybe he'd been walking longer than he thought. It didn't really matter. What did matter was it was time to head inside for a cup of tea before he started his long day of doing little more than pondering the life he intended having and plotting how he was going to get it.

Heading up the dune, Jane realized he'd been doing a lot of both lately.

#####

Running her hand over her face, Lisbon glanced at her clock deciding she'd had enough. The past couple of days had been every bit as difficult as she'd expected. While she'd handled that uncomfortable interview with Bertram better than she'd expected, it was the quiet murmurings behind her back that were driving her nuts. The ones she couldn't hear.

Oh, and the triumphant grim Hollister flashed in her direction every time she casually ran into her which seemed far more often than usual. The witch seemed to think she'd done the world a favor in exposing Lisbon's secret. That she'd done something big.

She had.

She'd embarrassed a co-worker for no good reason.

It wasn't like her pregnancy was something she thought she could hide forever. She knew better. She'd never been under that illusion. She'd always known she'd have to come clean at a certain point and she would have. But, she'd have done the confessing when she was emotionally ready to handle the verbal poking, prodding, and whispers. That time wasn't here yet. And she'd have done it with far more grace than she was doing now starting with her team.

In fact, she'd have probably allowed her ever changing body to make the announcement for her and responded to the questions that were sure to follow as honestly as she could.

All except the one inquiring who the father of her child was…That one she'd have refused to answer leaving everything to conjecture exactly as she was doing now.

But, that wasn't how things had gone down.

Hollister had turned something lovely and natural into something dirty and scandalous instead.

Making a split second decision, Lisbon slipped into her jacket, grabbed her purse, and locked her door. Walking to the regular ladies room to comb her hair and apply a dab of gloss to her lips, she cased the stalls to make sure she was truly alone. Stepping back, she opened her jacket and studied her reflection. There was nothing about her that screamed her condition if Hollister hadn't walked in on her tossing her cookies.

That was the hell of the whole situation.

She was nearly four and a half months along and she didn't look noticeably pregnant at all. That she'd gained five or six pounds she couldn't deny; but, have that whole baby belly thing going on? No way. As for her "issues," they'd all but disappeared soon after she'd shared their existence with Jane. It had been a month since Laura had calmly stated Lisbon could resume intimacies. Like that was going to happen. It had been nearly four months since Jane last shared her bed. Damn the man and his determination to stick to his plan.

She was just grateful her pregnancy was progressing normally now. Barring the occasional bouts of morning sickness still lingering, she felt fine. Her baby was fine. The only thing marring her happiness was the crap storm of nastiness swirling around her. That and the fact her sometimes lover and father of her child was deliberately AWOL for the foreseeable future.

It really wasn't fair.

No one had asked for Hollister to creep around in the shadows ruining everything.

Giving her hair one last tweak, Lisbon exited the bathroom and headed down the hall.

"I'm taking a long weekend, guys." She stated striding purposefully into the bullpen. "You've got case closed paperwork to do. When that's done you can call it a day. Red John is all we have open so I'll see you on Monday."

"You going to Malibu?" Cho asked what the whole team suspected.

"Jane's been pouting long enough." Lisbon picked at a button on her jacket recalling the uncomfortable conversation she'd had with her team Wednesday night over dinner. That had been two long days ago. It was two days too many without Jane's reassurances. "Besides, we need him here before the next case rolls in."

"You know where to find him?" Cho was pretty sure Jane was camping out at his place like he usually did when things became too much.

"He's probably at the house." Lisbon agreed hoping he wasn't.

If he was, the only upside was he wasn't sleeping there as he used to do. He was staying at a friend's place. She had the address and telephone number on a tiny slip of paper in her wallet. She also had a decent room at a nice hotel down the street.

"Need me to go with you, Boss?" Van Pelt asked quietly.

"I'll be okay, Grace. Thanks for the offer." Lisbon turned to her red headed agent. "It'll be easier if I go alone."

"Maybe; but, I'm willing to kick his ass if you want me to and I'm sure the guys will help." Van Pelt's lips curved slightly at the silent nods from Rigsby and Cho. "Not that I don't think you're capable of doing that yourself; but, in your condition and all…You might not want to."

Lisbon laughed softly at her Agent's wide-eyed backpedaling. While she was fully capable of kicking Jane's ass, pregnant or not, if it came to that, she could hardly get angry at the other woman's over-protective attitude. Her team was good people and she loved them for it.

"I think I'll be okay." Lisbon smiled softly as she nodded to her guys silently conveying, "Thanks; but no thanks." to their willingness to jump on the bandwagon. "Right now I'm going to walk over to that elevator and go. I'll see you bright and early Monday morning.

Don't be late."

Disappearing around the corner, Lisbon missed the knowing smirks of her team at that last very Lisbon command. The woman was in fine form and she wasn't taking any guff off their missing team member. Glancing at Rigsby and Van Pelt, Cho shook his.

Jane's ass was so grass and he didn't even know it.

#####

Pulling into the driveway of the address Jane had given her after a several hour drive; Lisbon decided getting to step inside the place was worth the aggravation. Even if the modestly sized contemporary residence didn't look like much at first flush. Looks could be deceiving. Lisbon wasn't stupid. While that might not be the most impressive home she'd ever seen, it was nicely sized and it was on the beach. And, not just any beach. A beach where location was everything and this was a prime site. That being given, she'd guess that was one pricey piece of real estate she was looking over…four to five million at least.

Apparently, Jane still had wealthy friends. That didn't surprise her. She'd met a few of them in the past.

Resting her forehead against her steering wheel, Lisbon gathered her thoughts. She was driving her car today as her road trip was strictly personal. It didn't matter she'd said differently to the team. Yeah, Jane needed to get his butt in gear and get back to the CBI where he belonged. But, the flip side was he hadn't been gone that long. Not yet. Two days wasn't long enough to warrant fetching him on the Bureau's dime.

And, as they hadn't gotten any new cases the past couple of days, and weren't likely to over the weekend as they weren't on call, there was no reason he really needed to hurry back. He knew that. Besides, he'd probably turn up bright and early Monday morning like a bad penny anyway. Jane was good at that.

Lifting her head, Lisbon checked her makeup one last time in her rear view mirror. Applying a touch of lipstick she opened her door. Exiting her car, she ran her hands over her clothes one last time tucking her shirt in and straightening her jacket before walking up the driveway to the front door. Reaching her hand towards the door bell, Lisbon was startled to find the door opening before she'd gotten a chance to ring.

Quirking a brow, she stepped into the foyer and took a look around absorbing the hardwood floors and open layout. Fortunately, the blinds were still drawn blocking any unwanted voyeurs from watching their exchange. Walking towards the couch, Lisbon picked up a large, shiny shell studying the dot and squiggle pattern adorning its surface. While the touchy feely gesture was more Jane than her, she was willing to do anything to avoid standing awkwardly awaiting his next move which seemed to be closing and locking the door.

"Why didn't you let me know you were coming?" Jane walked over to stand in front of her with his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't sure you'd let me in." Lisbon answered honestly.

"Of course I'll to let you in. Don't be ridiculous." Jane rolled his eyes. "We're play acting, Teresa, nothing more. I certainly haven't changed my mind about you or her. You can't think that can you?"

"You've had two days to mull things over." She had no doubts he'd spent a large part of that time walking on the beach doing just that...mulling things over. "To decide it isn't worth it.

And mulling could be a very dangerous thing.

"Yes, I have and that's not happening." Jane agreed. "Nothing's changed. I still hate our being apart as much as I did. I still haven't figured out how we can be together. I still don't know any better way to keep you safe. So, all that thinking has been futile except for one thing. I definitely haven't changed my mind about you or this."

Jane motioned in the direction of her middle.

"Neither have I." Lisbon stared at him staring at her.

"Then come here." Jane opened his arms wide not in the least surprised when Lisbon threw herself against his chest. "How is the team?"

"Mad as hell with you." Lisbon admitted. "Van Pelt is probably going to be shooting daggers at you for a while and the boys are liable to take you out back for a heart to heart."

"I don't expect anything else." Jane's voice was calm. "Don't let it bother you. I can handle the team's ire. We've hit rough patches before. We'll eventually work things out."

"But nothing they're feeling is real." Lisbon hated lying to her team.

"No, it isn't." Jane agreed. "That's why they'll get over it. What about Bertram? Did he buy the story?"

"Yeah, he bought it all right." Lisbon buried her face against his chest. "He's ready to fire you if you don't fall in line."

"Good job." Jane lightly rubbed her back. "Everything's going to plan. Hollister?"

"Loves making my life hell." Lisbon admitted. "She's lurking everywhere I look. She's stirring up whispers. She thinks she's got a shot at you now."

"Well, she's wrong." Jane dropped a reassuring kiss on her hair. "Can't stand the woman. As delectable as she is on the outside, there's definitely a worm in that apple.

What about the rest of the Bureau?"

"I don't know what's worse." And she didn't. "The pitying looks or the whispers I can't hear."

"They're just words, Teresa." Jane's expression was more concerned than he was willing to let her see. "Ignore the pity you don't need. It isn't necessary. The father of your child is very much in your life which is where he wants to be. As for the whispers, they can't hurt you unless you let them. You haven't done anything wrong. Perhaps out of sync with what we'd both want; but, our having a child isn't wrong."

"That's easy for you to say." Lisbon reminded him. "They aren't whispering about you."

"That's true up to a point." Jane acknowledged her remark deciding he might end up calling in a favor or two before this was done. "They _are_ talking about my lover and my child. I don't particularly care for that. It's no one's business but ours."

"Patrick, I can't handle this alone." Lisbon decided it was time to cut to the chase and state the truth. "I need you to come back with me."

"You don't have to." Jane rubbed her back a little harder knowing the gossip must be worst than he thought for Lisbon to be reacting like this. "We'll go back together on Monday."

"You're not going to put up a fight?" Somehow, she hadn't expected it to be this easy.

"Why would I?" Jane pulled back to look into Lisbon's eyes. "I planned on being back at the Bureau by then anyway."

"Thank God." Lisbon breathed a sigh of relief her trip hadn't really been necessary as Jane led her towards the couch.

"Where are you staying?" Jane changed the subject deciding Lisbon needed to get her mind on other things.

"There's a nice, busy hotel a couple of miles back." Lisbon said automatically.

"I know the place. It's high traffic with excellent security." Jane continued familiar with the place she was staying. "You've already checked in?"

"It was on the way." Lisbon agreed. "I checked in and unpacked my things enough to make it look like I'm actually staying there. Not like I just dumped my things and left."

It was also on the expensive side; but, she was only staying a couple of nights. So, while it might decimate her clothes allowance for the next couple of months, it wouldn't break the bank. She'd just have to hope her body didn't change that much.

"Good idea." Jane found himself rather impressed with Lisbon's growing sneakiness. "Then you don't have to go back any time soon."

"I was hoping I could stay here with you for a while." Lisbon admitted.

"You'll have to spend the night in your room alone; but, there's nothing to say we can't hang out here for a while." Jane agreed.

"Is that what we're calling it?" Lisbon teased. "Hanging out?"

"What are you implying, Teresa?" Jane quirked a brow at her.

"I'm not implying anything." Lisbon corrected him. "I'm stating straight out that Laura gave me the all clear for resuming "intimate relations" over a month ago. Her words, not mine."

"Is that an offer?" Jane watched her crawl over his lap.

"Maybe." Lisbon agreed.

"Then I'd say I need to do something about making that 'maybe' a 'yes'." Jane tossed her jacket aside.

"You have the 'yes' already." Lisbon restrained his hand when he would have pulled her shirt over her head. "I'm just not sure we should do it here."

"Erica and Rodney are in Europe for the next month on a combination business trip/second honeymoon." Jane informed her. "They won't be coming back anytime soon."

"Still." Lisbon reluctantly objected.

"Come with me." Taking her hand, Jane led Lisbon down the hall to the spacious guest room overlooking the ocean were the blinds not drawn. "Better?"

"Better." Lisbon agreed taking in the distressed wood furniture and the cool, beachy blue and coral decor.

"No one will even know you were ever here." Jane told her quietly. "Not that Erica or Rodney would care. They'd just be happy I'm living again."

"You haven't told them about us?" Lisbon asked as she studied his face.

"I won't tell anyone until it's safe for them to know." Jane told her what she already knew.

"I can understand that." Lisbon agreed watching him pull her purple tee shirt over her head.

"When I do tell them, they'll be happy for me." Jane promised. "They'll be pleased I'm finally moving on with my life."

"You can't know that." Lisbon said what was on her mind. "They knew Angela."

"Yes, they did." Jane agreed as he unfastened the front clip of her bra. "The four of us were close. That's why I know they'll approve of this. They want me to be happy again and they've known I've had feelings of one kind or another where you're concerned for years."

"I'll have to take your word for it." Lisbon wasn't so sure about that.

"Yes, you will." Jane agreed tossing the offending bra across the room.

"I trust you." Lisbon admitted. "I don't know your friends."

"No, you don't; but, they'll be okay with us." Jane reassured her yet again as he tossed her jeans aside. "You've done a good job of disguising this." Changing the subject, he ran his hand over the gentle swell of her belly from ribcage to the top of her low slung panties. "I never realized you were showing this much."

"You weren't supposed to." Lisbon gently reminded him. "Neither was anyone else."

"You've changed a lot." Jane dismissed her comments as he absorbed every nuance of her quickening.

It had been over two months since the night they'd cuddled each other in her bed.

"Most of this happened over the past three weeks." Lisbon ran her hand over the still imperceptible protuberance she'd studied from the side in her bedroom mirror this morning.

She'd been awed by the subtle changes in her body. And saddened Jane wasn't with her to share them. It wasn't fair.

"She's really in there." His voice was filled with wonder as he pressed his palm gently against her lower belly actually _feeling_ his daughter for the very first time.

"Did you ever doubt it?" Lisbon rested her hand over his.

"Yes, I did. Not that you were pregnant, no." Jane clarified. "I knew better. But that she was really in there, yes. I know with my mind that you're with child; but, it doesn't seem possible looking at you. You're still much too small.

Angela was visibly pregnant by now. There was a certain _rounding_ to her midsection you don't have yet. If I didn't know you were pregnant, I'd just think you'd gained a few pounds. I might wonder about this though." Jane ran his hand lightly over the curve of her breasts. "You don't normally gain weight here either."

"But you like it." Lisbon rolled her eyes at him resisting the urge to mutter, "Typical male."

"What's not to like?" Jane answered her honestly. "While I find you perfect the way you are, I certainly don't mind having more of you to love. I happen to find pregnant women very sexy."

Strangely, he did…especially _his_ pregnant women.

"You're such a pig." Lisbon pulled his shirt off his shoulders glad the man hadn't bothered with anything more than slacks and his shirt today. "But, you're my pig."

"I think maybe I am." Jane assisted her in removing his pants and boxers not at all insulted at being called a pig.

"Hollister is thrilled we're having issues." Lisbon said as Jane kissed the side of her neck.

"Annie Hollister is a revolting piece of work and we aren't having issues." Jane corrected her not believing they were back to _that_ woman again. "We're running a bit of a con and a long one at that."

"Well, she doesn't know and I'm not telling." Lisbon closed her eyes enjoying the feel of his lips against her skin. "I overheard her in the bathroom talking to Leitz…She thinks she'll have a chance with you now that I'm out of the competition. That she's smarter, prettier, and a damned sight better in bed."

"Oh, yeah?" Jane ran his hands over her sides and across her belly. "I think she's going to be sorely disappointed."

"You think?" Lisbon laughed at the awe-struck wonder on his face that she was actually starting to get a tummy.

"Oh, yeah, I already have the woman who's the smartest, prettiest and best in bed. In fact, I have two women and two are more than enough for any man." Jane corrected her before continuing. "And while I'm sure the youngest one will be smart and pretty as well, she better like hell not even think about being in anyone's bed until she's out of my house and somewhere I don't have to know about it.

You hear that kid? No fornicating under your parents' roof even if that's how you were made." Jane spoke clearly against the slight curve of Lisbon's belly ignoring the stab through his heart at his words.

While he wanted to pretend otherwise, nothing could be farther from the truth. He didn't have his girls now and he wasn't sure he ever would. Not once the game was over. He truly wasn't. But, as strange as it seemed, he'd started praying to that Entity Lisbon believed in and he didn't, that things would be different in the end.

That he'd somehow get it right this time around.

"Shush, Jane." Lisbon rolled her eyes unaware of the dark turn his thoughts had taken. "She can't hear in there. Besides, she's too young to know what you're saying."

"She most certainly can hear in there although I will agree she's probably clueless to what I'm saying." Jane corrected her.

"You think so?" Lisbon asked.

"I know so." Jane agreed crawling back up her body and positioning himself over her.

"You finally deciding to stop talking and start moving?" Lisbon rolled up to seize his face in her hands as she leaned in to press a hungry kiss on his lips.

"Teresa, I don't expect you to get it; but, there's something highly erotic in just being close to you. I want to savor every moment." Jane ignored her impatient snort as he slowly entered her body. "While you see the discomfort, stretch marks, and changes you're enduring, I see the miracle of life." Jane said quietly. "It really isn't fair to you; but, it's the way it is. I'd say anyway you cut it, I get the better deal."

"How do you figure that?" Lisbon asked curiously deciding Jane wasn't exactly right as she got the pleasures of being pregnant now that her first dodgy trimester was over.

Something Jane would never know being a man.

"Because I got to hold you like this and watch you take me slowly into your body. If that wasn't enough, you were open and vulnerable in a way I've never seen you...Nibbling your bottom lip as your eyes lit with desire...In case you haven't figured it out, you were as beautiful then as you are now." Jane lightly stroked her cheek.

"And if getting to finally possess you wasn't enough, our foolish moment happened when you were fertile. In the hours or days after we lay together, the two became one much as we did and a new life began. As much as I should regret putting you in this position, I don't, and I can't.

In a few short months, we'll hold a perfect, tiny person in our hands. When that happens your existence will change in ways you never saw coming. Mine will to. While this is all a first for you, I'm getting a second chance I didn't expect to have. I can't tell you how that makes me feel.

I can't express my gratitude for what you're going through.

Or my sorrow I can't be there more for you."

"I don't want your gratitude or your sorrow." Lisbon sniffled. "Our child is the very tangible expression of the emotions neither of us can voice at the moment."

"Yes, she is." Jane agreed with her.

"Then, since we're still in agreement on the important things, why don't you give me another very tangible expression of those emotions we're both too foolish to admit." Lisbon coaxed deciding that while having Jane fill her was pleasant, having him actually _doing_ something with what was filling her would feel even better.

Laughing softly at her impatience, Jane lifted her legs higher on his hips and resumed showing Lisbon exactly what those feelings were.

#####

Tucking her bright purple tee shirt back into her jeans after what had proven a very naughty shower, Lisbon looked up as she caught sight of what Jane was holding out to her.

"I can't take that." Lisbon held her hand up refusing to accept the thick stack of hundred dollar bills.

"Yes, you can. Having a child is expensive." Jane pressed the currency into her palm. "Consider it an investment in our future."

"It's too much." Lisbon couldn't even get her mind around what had to be several thousand dollars much less how Jane had come to possess it.

"I haven't been playing illegal poker games." Jane told her calmly. "I took that from a bank account that's been doing little more than drawing interest the past decade. Trust me when I say it didn't make a dent in it."

"A bank account?" Lisbon asked. "As in you have more than one?"

"I have a number of banks accounts including two or three you don't need to know about." Jane admitted.

"I see." Lisbon's eyebrow rose perceptively.

"They're not illegal per se." Jane said. "They are in aliases. Every good carney has emergency money the cops don't know about including me."

"The only problem with that theory is the cops do know about them now." Lisbon reminded him.

"Hardly." Jane said. "You don't know the aliases and trust me when I say you won't figure them out."

"I'm not going to try." Lisbon admitted.

"But you are going to accept the money." Jane wasn't happy when Lisbon didn't immediately answer. "Teresa, while I'm not filthy rich by Erica and Rodney's standards, I'm better than comfortable for the rest of my life without working for the CBI or anyone else. I can afford to take care of you and my child without stressing over it.

Trust me when I tell you I did quite well in my old profession. And that I invested wisely while investing was good. I haven't touched the money since my family passed so my accounts have done nothing but grow. "

"There must be ten thousand dollars here." Lisbon looked at the fat stack of hundred dollar bills in her hand.

"There is." Jane confirmed.

"I can't take this." Lisbon said again.

"You can and you will. Buy what you need and what you want Maddie to have. Just don't go crazy and be discreet. Making it look like you're a typical parent going overboard, and into manageable debt, with her first child is one thing. Making everyone question where the money is coming from will be another. We don't want them wondering exactly who the father really is or if he's suddenly decided to be involved in his child's life.

We do not need people asking those kinds of questions."

"No, we don't." Lisbon agreed.

"Teresa, if it makes you feel any better, use part of the money to buy things for yourself and Madeleine." Jane said. "Put the rest in a safe place in case you need to go into hiding fast."

Nodding in agreement, Lisbon slipped the money in her wallet. The first thing she was going to do was put two-thirds of it away as Jane suggested. Then, she was going to start looking for some maternity clothes as she suspected she'd need them before too long. After that, she was going to use the rest to buy everything she needed to turn her spare bedroom into a nursery.

"Thank you, Patrick." She leaned in to give him an appreciative kiss. "You want to see the nursery furniture I picked out?"

"You mean the four different sets saved on your computer at work?" Jane asked.

"Honest to goodness, I am so going to kill you." Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Stay off my computer."

"Here." Jane pulled a few more hundred dollar bills from his wallet. "Order that fancy cast iron crib you like best along with the chest of drawers, rocking chair, and changing table that goes with it. The dresser might be a little much this early though we can order it later along with the daybed converter kit and night stand later. We'll put it in storage for when Maddie's older. The set's a little on the pricey side, but not out of a price range you could handle if you dipped into your savings or maxed out your credit cards."

Neither of which she ever needed to do.

He would see to that.

"I can do that." She'd hit her savings to pay for everything creating a very visible paper trail for anyone hacking her records and keep the money Jane was giving her in her personal safe. She'd probably stuff it back in her savings down the road once this mess was finally over. "I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say." Jane told her. "I'm doing what I would do if we were together. Helping you prepare for our child. It's what a father does. You should know that. You had one once."

"Yeah, I did." And he'd been a good one before everything went to hell in a hand basket. "Want to help me pick out the bedding and the rest of the décor?"

"Yes, I think I do." Angela had taken care of most of that with Charlotte Anne. He'd approved her choices and paid the bills. His wife had been happiest that way. Looking back, as his mind was on other things, he had been, too.

That wasn't how he wanted things to be this time around.

"I brought some catalogs." Lisbon said. "They're in the car. We can look at them after our walk if you'd like."

"I'd like that." Jane agreed as he opened the sliding glass doors.

"Then that's what we'll do." Lisbon walked out on the patio to stare over the ocean.

The sea was beginning to roll back in; but, it would be a while before the tide was high. They had plenty of time for a nice long walk. Allowing Jane to take her hand and escort her down the path, Lisbon had no doubts he would release her like a hot potato once their feet were on more even ground.

In the interim, she'd enjoy the feel of his hand encircling hers.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Tina, I know you like those smooshy moments I'm always amazed I write! Anyways, thanks for sticking around whatever the reason! :) The same goes for the rest of my guests! I love knowing you're out there even if I don't know your names!

Oh, and I mean no disrespect to "trashy romance novels," or their authors, as I count myself among them. ~Calla

#####

Looking around her, Lisbon decided she could get used to walking on the beach with Jane…even if they weren't holding hands. In fact, they weren't even touching. But, she still felt close to him. There was something about the look in his eyes and the way their very steps were so effortlessly in sync she found intensely intimate.

"You know Minelli's going to show up on your doorstep soon." Jane said quietly wishing he could clasp her hand and knowing he dare not.

"He'll probably be pacing on my doorstep when I get back." Lisbon agreed unconsciously nodding her head.

"I think he'll catch you off guard at the office." Jane watched a seagull dip and turn.

"You're probably right." Lisbon kicked the sand with her foot.

"What are you going to tell him?" Jane tucked his hands awkwardly in his pockets.

"I'm not going to have to tell him anything." Lisbon stared at the surf tickling her feet. "He knows me too well. He's going to tell me the way it is and he's going to read me the riot act for letting this happen." Lisbon ran her palm lovingly over her non-existent belly. "Then, he's coming after you with both barrels loaded."

Staring into the stormy eyes Lisbon leveled at him, Jane acknowledged the truth of her statement with a silent nod of his head.

Virgil would definitely be coming after him and it wouldn't be pretty. And not without reason. He _was_ the other side of the equation responsible for Lisbon's rapidly expanding waistline. He might as well get ready for things to come to a head soon. He knew it was coming. Everyone knew how Minelli felt about Lisbon and how she felt about him.

Kicking at the sand, Jane allowed his thoughts free reign.

Putting it bluntly, from the way it looked on the surface, he'd been screwing around with Minelli's surrogate daughter. While that wasn't exactly true, reality didn't play into the situation. Nor the fact both he and Lisbon knew it was a whole lot more than screwing around with each other. Minelli was still going to feel like he took advantage of a woman who frequently lost her formidable common sense when it came to him. Jane wasn't sure there wasn't some truth to his ex-boss's feelings.

He honestly wasn't sure who'd taken advantage of whom. He suspected they'd each taken advantage of the other and enjoyed every second of it.

"He won't be a happy camper." Jane agreed.

"Neither of us will be happy campers either by the time he finishes with us." Lisbon agreed as she walked away from Jane watching him head for the water's edge.

Dropping on her bottom in the sand, she watched her companion dilly dallying in the surf wondering what he was up to. Every now and then, he'd shield his eyes and look up at the sun as though looking for something. Frankly, she couldn't see anything of interest in the sky. Not even a bird. Watching Jane kick at the retreating surf one last time, she was a little surprised when he suddenly walked over to her extending his hand. Allowing him to pull her to her feet, she dusted the sand from her rear before falling into step beside him.

"What was that all about?" Lisbon asked speculatively.

"There's a car hanging out up there that doesn't belong." Jane said quietly. "For one thing, it's a rental. For another, I know what most everyone drives in the immediate neighborhood and that make and model doesn't belong to anyone."

"It could be someone visiting a friend." Lisbon pointed out.

"It could be; but, it isn't." Jane said. "For one thing, that car's been parked up there with the driver inside since before we started our walk. He should have gotten out of there a long time ago."

"Maybe he's waiting for someone to come home." Lisbon offered.

"Maybe, but I still don't like what I'm seeing." Jane said quietly.

"What do you suggest we do about it?" Lisbon asked dreading his answer.

"As much as I hate to suggest it, we cut our visit short." Jane said quietly. "We need to have words and you need to leave. Go back to your room and lock yourself in for the rest of the night. Give me a call to let me know you made it back safely. Do it on the work line and make it nasty in case anyone is listening. Get something to eat on the way in from a drive-thru. Whatever you do, don't order room service or go the restaurant alone. We'll reconvene in the morning unless I notify you differently. That's what I suggest we do."

"You can't be serious." Lisbon's tone was stricken.

"I'm perfectly serious." Jane said. "Until I find out who that is, we aren't taking any chances he's on to us."

"Somehow, I don't think I'm going to have any problem being totally put out with you before we're done." Lisbon sounded more than a little exasperated already.

"I doubt you will." Jane agreed knowing exactly how she was feeling about his suggestion as he wasn't too happy with their change of plans either.

"You know I'm not going to yell and scream or cause a scene." Lisbon's tone was a little more excited though still soft and controlled.

"I know." Jane agreed. "But, you are going to move your hands all around and get animated like you're tearing into me."

"Yes, I am; because I'm pissed." Lisbon "I was looking forward to a nice, long walk and looking at baby stuff."

"That's not what you were looking forward to; but, we'll discuss that later." Jane corrected her. "And, no, I don't think whoever that is can hear what we're saying. We're much too far away and the wind is blowing in the wrong direction for any of those electronic devices to work."

"Shush, Jane." Lisbon looked away not happy Jane was reading her mind so well.

She had been hoping to make the most of their time away from Sacramento. The last thing she'd seriously expected was discovering someone was tailing them. Truthfully, the thought made her more than a little afraid and that was making her really angry. Fear wasn't an emotion she found acceptable.

"Say that a little louder and leave." Jane said quietly. "Just turn around and go through the back door, get your purse, go out the front door, and drive away. I'm going to watch that car while you leave. If he pulls away, I'll give you a call. If I do, I want you to drive straight to the Police Station, go inside, and tell them you're a cop. Let them take care of the rest. Do I make myself clear?"

"Shush, Jane." Lisbon raised her voice as she ran her hand protectively over her belly shooting Jane a telling glare.

Turning on her heel to stomp across the sand, Lisbon decided it wasn't all that hard pretending to be angry with Jane. Not when she truly was put out with him for pulling the plug on the evening she'd been looking forward to. Jane had promised her steak and his undivided attention over baby catalogs. She'd promised herself a night of naked skin on skin. Probably one of the last she'd get before their daughter was born the way things were going. Now, she was getting neither of those things.

Storming up the path towards the house, she could almost feel Jane's anxiety as he watched her angry departure. He was concerned about that car and about how carelessly she was making her way through the sand. He needn't worry. She was quite surefooted and she wasn't taking any chances with their child. Stepping up on the back patio, Lisbon reached behind her to pull her handgun from the holster at her waist.

If whoever had been sitting in that car outside had decided to come inside, she wasn't getting caught unprepared. Making her way slowly through the house, Lisbon grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter slamming the front door behind her. Stomping over to her car, Lisbon unlocked the door and slipped inside. Locking the door before turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the driveway, Lisbon surreptitiously cast her eyes in the direction of that rental car. She wasn't all that surprised to see the front seat still occupied. When Jane was right, he was right.

They were clearly being watched.

#####

Feeling his cell vibrating in his pocket, Jane placed the phone to his ear. Hearing Lisbon's snappy comments in his ear, he said a few words here and there before eventually clicking the button and throwing the rectangle angrily in the sand. Staring down at his cell, he winced slightly deciding while the gesture was good for affect; it probably wasn't all that great for the instrument. Reaching over to pick the piece of plastic up and dust it off, Jane decided he was fortunate the temporary bane of his existence had landed on its back. He really didn't need to explain to accounting how his work phone ended up a casualty of a trip to Malibu he had no business taking in the first place.

He wasn't in the mood for that lecture.

Turning around, Jane made his way back in the direction of the beach house. In spite of how it looked, and sounded, Lisbon had given him the important info he needed in the middle of her tirade. She'd made it back to her car, and her room, safely. She'd stopped for a burger and fries which wasn't nearly as good as that steak he'd promised her as a peace offering. The diatribe following let him know how she really felt about that one. For some strange reason, Jane had a feeling she wasn't really acting. All that mattered was he didn't need to be concerned for her safety. She was safely locked away in her room.

While Jane liked that, he didn't like the way he was feeling.

Like a part of him was missing.

Walking up the path and through the sliding glass doors, Jane removed the familiar tool from his pocket before going through the house checking for bugs. He'd been gone long enough anyone could have gotten inside, done their business, and left again. Looking at the gadget in his hand, he decided he'd grown rather fond of the electronic device. He hated the thought of anyone listening in on his stolen moments with Lisbon. Not so much because of the danger that posed; but, more so, because they were _his_.

Tucking the device away, Jane headed for the kitchen to make sure he had everything he needed for breakfast. In spite of the events of the last couple of hours, Lisbon would be back fairly early tomorrow. If he knew her, she'd come bearing decaf and pastries. As usual, he'd do his best to persuade her to add some protein to her normal fare.

While Lisbon's appearance would ostensibly be to repair the damage from their earlier disagreement, nothing could be farther from the truth. There was nothing to repair. That bit of unpleasantness between them was just another layer of the con that was beginning to feel much too real to both of them.

In reality, they were deciding on baby furniture and nursery décor. Actually, they'd already decided on that lovely cast iron crib in the gold finish…the one converting into a canopy crib by adding the four poster extensions and cross bars. He was leaning in that direction though he doubted Lisbon would get on board with the extra frou-frou. Then again, she might surprise him. Motherhood had a way of changing a woman. Not that he wanted to change her. But, a few softer edges wouldn't be amiss. Not when it came to their daughter and her girly abode.

Meandering over to the book shelves, Jane reached between two massive coffee table books on the history of California and drew the baby catalogs Lisbon had left from their hiding place. Carrying the small pile into the kitchen, he set about making a cup of tea. Flipping the first one open, he perused the pages while he waited for the kettle to boil. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why this catalog wasn't nearly as dog eared as the other two.

The bedding sets were on the costlier side.

But, Lisbon clearly liked what she saw as there were three tiny stars by three different sets near the front of the catalog. Smiling to himself, Jane couldn't help musing on what she'd inadvertently revealed. While the woman was as predictable as the rising sun when it came to her attire, it seemed she wasn't above a touch of whimsy when it came to her daughter. Who knew Lisbon would go for black and white zebra stripes with the requisite touch of hot pink? Or the somewhat mellower pink leopard print?

Personally, he found both patterns atrocious.

But he _could_ go for her third choice of the pretty floral print with the wide ribbons and bows and pricey beribboned teddy bear mobile. He'd have to run it by the Mommy to get her opinion. Lisbon might have changed her mind though he doubted it. She'd probably go all practical on him and balk claiming the set was much too expensive for something they'd use such a short period of time.

He didn't agree with her. Odds were they were only going to have one child and, as long as he could comfortably afford it, nothing was too good for Madeleine. Especially not the bedding set her mommy really wanted. He'd get that through Lisbon's head one way or another.

Carrying the catalog into the den, Jane opened the blinds and took a sip of tea before settling comfortably on the couch. Setting his cup aside, he opened a different catalog. He might as well see what Lisbon had to offer before he started plotting his battle plans. Though he doubted he was going to see anything he liked equally well, he intended approaching his task with an open mind.

Then against he might be wrong.

Glancing at the pricing, Jane immediately realized why the catalog was mark free. The bedding sets were all washable silk and quadruple the expense of Lisbon's other choices. The ones in the Romantic Collection were also quite lovely. Settling back with his tea and a pen in hand, Jane flipped through the pages quickly deciding there was no reason to bother with those other catalogs or with the other collections in this catalog for that matter.

He'd found exactly what he wanted.

Who needed zebra stripes and leopard spots or baby animals in garish shades of pinks and purples and unisex colors when they could have tasteful patterns, puffs, and bows in subtle shades of Ashes of Roses and soft Champagne?

Starring several sets, Jane flipped towards the back of the catalog rejecting the over-the-top pumpkin carriage inspired crib and the round crib honing in on a iron canopy crib with simple lines and embellishments he liked as well as Lisbon's choice. He had a feeling she might like it a little better. It didn't hurt the crib would blend well with the armoire, changing table, and glider she'd already picked out.

Flipping a couple of more pages, Jane marked a modest baby chandelier and the matching wall scones in crystal and ivory. Lisbon would think it was all too much; but, Jane thought he could win her over. All he had to do was point out that Maddie's room was already coming together quite nicely without her having to pull her hair out. The most she'd have to worry about was selecting the stuffed animals. If he didn't miss his guess, Lisbon would acquiescence soon after.

The only problem he could foresee with his plan was his tastes weren't exactly Lisbon's. The black and white zebra striped pattern edged in hot pink, baby animal prints, and subtler pink leopard spots attested to that. Before it was over, someone was bound to question exactly _who_ convinced her to go with silky ruffles and bows. He'd have to find a likely target to pin that on and it wouldn't be Grace. Van Pelt was as bad as Lisbon in the baby critter department.

Maybe Minelli would volunteer for the job. The man wasn't without a certain degree of refinement and experience. He'd certainly recognized a good thing when he'd introduced him to May.

Deciding he'd found his fall guy, Jane laid the catalog aside and closed his eyes. He was suddenly very tired. It _had_ been a trying day.

If he didn't miss his guess, tomorrow wasn't going to be much better.

#####

Walking through the open door, Lisbon handed Jane the box of hot pastries she'd picked up at a doughnut shop on the way in. Carrying the box into the kitchen and setting it on the counter, Jane returned to draw Lisbon into his arms pleased to note she hadn't bothered slathering on anything more than a touch of lightly tinted gloss. Obviously, she'd been lucid enough to realize he'd only kiss it off. Speaking of kissing...He liked the fact she was as eager as him to get a little closer...Eager enough she was actually helping him tug her shirt free of her jeans.

Hearing a knock on the door behind them, Lisbon broke free of Jane's embrace tucking her shirt back in her pants. Reaching behind her, she removed her handgun from the holster at her waist in a familiar mimic of yesterday. Motioning for Jane to remain where he was, she walked over to peer through the peep hole before unlocking the door. Running a hand through her hair, she turned the knob and yanked the door wide.

"Damn it, I don't believe this." Lisbon rolled her eyes as she gave the rental car in the driveway a dirty look before settling her disgruntled gaze on the man standing in front of her. "That was _you_ parked up on the street watching us yesterday?"

"I knew you'd recognize my truck." Minelli offered as way of unnecessary explanation as he stepped through the open door.

"That sounds like a Jane trick." Lisbon said as she closed and locked the door behind him.

"Maybe it is." Minelli agreed. "I certainly worked with Jane long enough to pick up a trick or two along the way."

"Yes, Virgil, you did." Jane agreed smiling slightly at the thought Minelli had pulled a fast one and shaken them both up unnecessarily.

"So what brings you here?" Lisbon asked as she ambled into the kitchen to make her ex-boss a cup of coffee.

"Van Pelt gave me a call, Teresa." Minelli admitted. "She gave me the heads up on what was going on and how _that one_ was acting like an ass as usual." Minelli nodded in Jane's direction. "She also told me what hotel you were staying in. I have the room three doors down across the hall."

"You can't be serious." Lisbon seriously contemplated killing Grace before deciding she might miss her. "You came up here to referee?"

"I came up here to discuss your stupidity." Minelli said quietly. "Don't even try to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. There's enough circumstantial evidence for Bertram and your co-workers to buy that load of crap you're feeding them; but, not me.

In fact, Gale's furthering the lie since he saw you out on a date with that unfortunate man who has no idea how his reputation is being put through the shredder. It doesn't really matter it isn't really him people are talking about just some figment of your imagination. The fact people know he was briefly in your life is all that's allowing the two of you to pull this farce off to the extent that you are."

Staring into her eyes, Minelli held up his hand when Lisbon would have protested.

"Don't try to deny it or put a prettier spin on things. You can't. The truth is the truth whether you like hearing it or not.

You were clearly dating the attorney Bertram saw you out with about the time you got in trouble. He called the Bureau a few times and sent you roses once or twice. There was enough going on there for people to take notice even if it never got serious enough for you to let him pick you up at the office." Minelli continued ignoring Jane's glare.

"Get to the point, Virgil." Jane placed a steadying hand on Lisbon's shoulder knowing Minelli's words and tone were affecting her far more than she was letting on.

"The point is that you had a readymade cover story when you suddenly found yourself pregnant. One nobody was going to try too hard to disprove…Even if they did have lingering doubts here and there." And Minelli knew those doubts were still out there.

Bertram had come right out and asked him if he thought Jane had fathered Lisbon's kid a couple of days ago before dismissing the idea as preposterous.

"I repeat, get to the point, Virgil." Jane was fast not caring how Minelli read his actions as Lisbon was starting to visibly shake.

"I'll do that. The bottom line is simple. Teresa, I'm sure you and your friend discussed the fact he was transferring to the Brussels branch of his firm for the next few years. I'm guessing that's why you didn't get any more involved than you did. You clearly liked the guy or you wouldn't have wasted your time seeing him in the first place. But, you certainly wouldn't have allowed yourself to get pregnant.

Not by him.

That one is a different story." Minelli tipped his head in Jane's direction. "Your common sense is seriously impaired when it comes to Jane."

"No, it's not." Lisbon hotly defended herself.

"Don't lie to yourself, Teresa." Minelli said quietly. "Not now when it's already too late."

"Damn it, Virgil." Lisbon blinked back tears. "It's not like that."

"Isn't it? Honest to God, Teresa, you two are as predictable as a trashy romance novel." Minelli said as he studied the trashy romance novels on the shelf in front of him before turning back to face Lisbon and Jane. "There's been something between you for years."

"Virgil." Lisbon tried to protest his continuing.

"Don't Virgil me." Minelli refused to let her off the hook. "Everybody could see it even if you couldn't. Or wouldn't. Think about it.

Jane killed for you. You trashed your career over him. He disappears and you mope around like a lost soul for half a year. You get royally pissed with his shenanigans and Jane finds a way to make you forgive him. The list goes on and on. It's really hard to miss since neither of you go to that much trouble for anyone else.

But, contrary to the rumors, I don't think there's ever been anything illicit between you. Not until the night that kid was made." Minelli wasn't all that surprised to see his jab hit the mark when Lisbon winced.

"Teresa, you've got to be kidding me." Minelli's tone was exasperated. "He knocked you up the first time?"

"We think so." Lisbon reluctantly admitted.

"Then I have nothing else to say but you let your hormones overrule your common sense…Both of you; but, especially you, Teresa. Given how long you've known Jane, you had to know you were stepping in a minefield slipping between the sheets with him if you weren't prepared? Probably even if you were. God only knows what the man has up his sleeve. You had to realize anything screwy that could happen most certainly would happen including this."

"Apparently, I didn't." Lisbon said.

"Oh, I think you did; you just didn't care." Minelli corrected her. "I think you finally decided, 'What the hell.' and took Jane up on his offer because I don't think either of you thought you'd get another chance to act on your feelings. And, yeah, I think Jane made the first move. But, you certainly didn't turn him down."

"I think you might be right." Jane agreed as he wrapped his arms around Lisbon offering her silent comfort in the storm. "All of this is my fault."

"It's nobody's fault." Minelli continued. "Frankly, I don't see how you could help yourself. You've been too close too long

However, I do fault you for being careless enough to bring another life into this mess. Instead of being able to enjoy the miracle, you're sneaking around trying to steal moments to be together without anyone finding out. It's not supposed to be like this when you start a family."

"No, it isn't." Jane agreed. "But, since it is, we've got make the best of it and that's what we're trying to do."

"I suppose you are." Minelli said. "It's a dangerous game you're playing. This whole fighting Jane, Jane fighting you, both of you fighting your feelings, fighting that crap at the CBI…That's not even taking _him_ into account…I hope you can pull it off."

"We don't have a choice." Jane stated firmly. "We have to win in the end."

"I suppose you do." Minelli agreed. "I'll do what I can to help you."

"I know you will." Jane agreed. "I think we've discussed this enough for now. What do you say we grab some breakfast and take a look at those catalogs Lisbon brought with her? I'm sure she won't mind your helping us pick out baby bedding."

Catching Minelli's eye, Jane nodded down at Lisbon hoping he picked up on the fact she'd had enough distressing conversation for now.

"I'd like that." Minelli nodded discretely back at Jane agreeing, that while the conversation was far from over, they could pick it back up at a later date. "I think I'll make a cup of coffee first."

Watching Minelli head for the coffee maker, Jane turned Lisbon in his arms before dropping a comforting kiss on her lips. Having none of that, Lisbon wrapped her arms around his neck roughly pulling his face down. Kissing him for all she was worth, Lisbon smiled when Jane answered her in kind. As much as she should care that Minelli was potentially seeing them stroking tongues and swopping slobber, Lisbon found that she didn't care at all.

Besides, Minelli was enough of a gentleman he surely wasn't watching them.

"I saw that." Minelli burst her bubble without turning around. "I would say get a room; but, that's what got you in trouble in the first place."

"Shush, Virgil." Lisbon smiled shyly at Minelli's snort of amusement.

Watching him make a cup of coffee, she decided their confrontation hadn't been nearly as painful as she'd feared. For one thing, Minelli had yet to realize he was drinking decaf which was definitely a good thing. Or he was ignoring that fact out of respect for her condition. Lisbon smiled at the thought. Her old boss could get really cranky when he didn't get his caffeine just like her…That was one of the points they'd bonded over in the early days.

Stepping out of the protective circle of Jane's arms, Lisbon headed into the kitchen to open the box of still warm pastries. Offering her bounty, she watched Minelli snag a Glazed Cinnamon Twist before she slipped around him to grab an Apple Fritter. Lisbon wasn't all that surprised a few minutes later when Jane ambled into the kitchen offering them both small plates from the cabinet. Or when he grabbed one of the spicy pumpkin muffins she'd bought just for him.

At least he wasn't trying to force eggs or bacon on her both of which still made her stomach churn.

Taking her decaf and fritter, Lisbon led the way back into the den. As much as she wished the blinds could be opened, they couldn't. They couldn't risk anyone out there looking in. Watching Jane grab the catalogs from the bookshelf, she sat on the couch waiting for the two men to join her. She wasn't all that surprised when Minelli sat on one side of her and Jane settled on the other opening the one catalog she hadn't really allowed herself to give more than a cursory glance.

"Let's start with this one." Jane said quietly opening to the cast iron cribs.

"Patrick, no." Lisbon reached for the catalog only to have Jane hold it firmly in place. "It's much too expensive."

"No, Teresa, it's not." Jane reminded her. "I've already told you that we'll get whatever you want within reason. There's nothing in here we'd consider having that doesn't fall into that category. No one will fault you for going a little overboard.

It's only natural you'd want to compensate for your child's father not being in her life. It's also very normal you'd start this early. If there's something you want in here, there's nothing stopping you from getting it."

"Listen to him, Teresa." Minelli urged her softly. "There's no reason Jane shouldn't buy whatever you want. He can certainly afford it."

Unlike most everyone else, Minelli was under no false illusions when it came to the man's net worth. He knew Jane's pockets were deep. He'd realized that almost from start.

"Even that crazy crib shaped like a pumpkin carriage?" Lisbon asked gauging Jane's sincerity.

"While I'd want to draw the line at that, if you really want it…." Jane fought the urge to cringe not believing Lisbon would go there.

"Don't worry." Lisbon giggled like a girl at the disgusted face Jane didn't realize he was making. "That thing is gross. I mean, I know someone somewhere will like it; but, not me. That's so not right for Maddie."

"No, it isn't." Jane agreed thankful she'd only been toying with him.

"Thank goodness you've got some sense left." Minelli agreed looking at the crib in question quickly deciding it was just too much.

Pretentious in a way neither Lisbon nor Jane were. The pretty iron canopy crib on the page across from it was a different matter. He'd guess from the star inked beside it that this was the crib Jane had been referring to earlier. He could get behind this one. He certainly could.

"I do like this one." Minelli said tapping the small picture. "I'm assuming this is the crib you were referring to earlier."

"Yes, it is." Jane agreed. "What do you think, Teresa?"

Studying the small photograph, Lisbon tried to imagine the crib in her guest room turned nursery.

"I like it." She nodded her head deciding Jane might be on to something.

"I do, too, especially with this bedding set." Lifting the catalog, Jane flipped through it until he found the page he wanted.

Glancing at Minelli, he could clearly see the other man liked what he was seeing. If he played his cards right, Virgil would do his job for him. Convince Lisbon she liked one of _his_ choices instead of one of _hers_ without her ever realizing what was happening. It would be just like the stubborn woman to insist on one of those ghastly bright pink monstrosities out of spite if she did.

But, that wasn't going to happen.

Jane was sure of it.

Minelli was much too sneaky when it came to handling Lisbon in very special ways.


	12. Chapter 12

"You did it to me again, didn't you?" Lisbon said quietly as Jane locked the door before striding back into the den.

He'd just watched Virgil make his way safely back to his car and set off in the direction of the hotel. They were meeting in a few hours on the pier to continue that talk Jane found prudent to cut short for Lisbon's sake. He'd been instructed to give the other man a call when she left to return to her room for much needed rest. Goodness knows Lisbon wasn't resting around him. She was much too preoccupied with trying to spend every possible second with him to give a thought to closing her eyes for any length of time while they were together.

As for Minelli, he would see Lisbon safely locked in her room before meeting him for their rendezvous. They'd planned everything that way. Jane refused to acknowledge how much better having her old boss close at hand made him feel. He would admit good enough Lisbon's hotel bill wasn't the only one already paid in full.

"Actually, Minelli did." Jane said as he reached down to draw Lisbon to her feet. "Let's take that walk we didn't get to finish."

They could both use a little time to gather their thoughts now that their unexpected guest had finally departed.

"I guess he did." Lisbon agreed as she stepped into his arms. "When Grace asks me why I didn't buy the Safari baby bedding with the cute zebra stripes I was supposed to, I'm blaming her for siccing Minelli on me."

"Sounds like a plan." Jane bit his lip silencing the "Hallelujah!" threatening to burst forth at Lisbon's revelation and kissed her instead. "It'll make perfect sense he'd persuade you to buy what you really want. Maybe even help you with it. Minelli only wants what's best for you and he's going to feel the same for your kid. Everyone knows that."

"I still think the lighting you want is too ostentatious for an infant." Lisbon frowned as she ran her hand across his chest. "And it's too over the top for my place. In fact, I'm not sure all of it isn't more your world and less mine. I live in a two bedroom apartment, Jane, not in a lovely, two storied contemporary on the beach."

"You won't feel that way when the room finally comes together." Jane reassured her as he led her out the door and down the path towards the beach. "The fixtures aren't ostentatious, Lisbon. Not by anyone's standards. They just aren't to your usual tastes."

"No, they aren't." Lisbon agreed trying to imagine the pretty ivory fixtures in place.

"But they work." Jane prodded.

"I guess they do." Lisbon reluctantly agreed.

"Think about it. The chandelier is small and compact. The crystals and beading are delicate and refined. The sconces and lamps are relatively plain. That's why nothing will look anything as you're imagining them." Ignoring the doubt on Lisbon's face, Jane stood his ground knowing he was right.

A nursery should be well lit and Lisbon's lighting wasn't the best on a good day. Her spare bedroom was the worst. Those cutesy baby lamps she favored wouldn't do anything to alleviate the gloom. The adult type fixtures in nursery sizes he wanted would. Besides, he already knew where everything was going if she didn't.

The floor lamp would go in the corner near her glider while one of the table lamps would go on top of the chest of drawers. The sconces would go on the wall at either end of the crib. That extra lamp he'd insist she order could go in storage until they needed it when Madeleine was finally old enough to get that "big girl" bedroom suit Lisbon would eventually order.

"The jury's out on that one." Giving in, Lisbon still wasn't convinced she wasn't going to be changing things out at a later date. "I do think the bedding is beautiful and the colors incredible even if I'm not sure about the rest of it."

She could already imagine the feel of the silk beneath her palms and that pale, dusty pink was a shade she'd never seen. In reality, the richly muted tones of rich pink and champagne tastefully interspersed with ribbons, bows, and lace should be much too sophisticated for an infant; but, it wasn't. It was perfect for their Madeleine Grace. She'd realized that the moment Jane showed it to her.

"It's also still much too expensive." Her practical streak reared its ugly head yet again.

"And you'll still argue over anything. Teresa, you have the list, you have the money, you have my approval, place the order." Jane patted her hand in that condescending 'there, there' way he had perfected over the years. The one shutting her up and sending her blood pressure into the stratosphere. ""Place the order or I will and I won't stop with your precious list. There's a life sized teddy bear with a big pink bow around its neck with Maddie's name on it for starters" Jane stated with finality.

Lisbon was probably going to scream bloody murder when _that_ one arrived at her place in a few days anyways. Even if it didn't literally have his daughter's name embroideried anywhere on its fuzzy person, it would take up a substantial portion of the room.

"You wouldn't dare." Lisbon kicked at the sand.

"Yes, I would." Jane corrected. "Teresa, in case you haven't figured it out, Charlotte was loved, wanted, and spoiled from her conception by _both_ of her parents. Madeleine Grace deserves no less.

"And you need to accept deep down that you're not on your own and we have a handle on everything. As unorthodox as all of this is, we're doing okay in every way that truly matteres. You're finally healthy, our daughter is making her presence known, we're coping with the general unpleasantness well, and he's leaving us alone. What more can we really ask for?

If that isn't enough, you're well within your outer budget if I _wasn't _buying everything so finances aren't an issue even if something unforeseen happens down the road."

That was Lisbon's number one fear as a single parent and it was groundless.

"Damn it, Jane, I've told you a thousand times to stay out of my office." Lisbon smacked him on the shoulder yet again. "My budget wasn't just laying around. You had to pick the lock on my desk to get in that drawer. If that isn't bad enough, you had to root through my files to find what you were looking for."

"Yes I did." Jane admitted expecting the blue streak passing Lisbon's lips.

"While I know you don't believe anything is sacred, there were things in there I never wanted you to know." Lisbon stated honestly.

"There were things in there you should never have kept from me." Jane reproached her for saying things were better than they were when she'd finally bothered telling him anything.

"They were things you didn't need to know." Lisbon's tone was firm. "What good would it have done to have you worrying, too?"

"You wouldn't have gone through any of that alone." Jane reminded her.

"And you'd have over reacted and put all of us at risk when it really wasn't necessary." Lisbon said. "I knew everything was going to be fine."

She'd held onto the hope.

"What if it hadn't been?" Jane asked quietly. "Would you have told me after the fact?"

"I wouldn't have had a choice once you knew." Lisbon answered just as quietly. "Before I told you? Probably not."

"That would have been a bad call, Teresa." Jane grasped her hand. "I had a right to know you carried my child even if you'd lost her."

"I didn't and we're all fine now so it doesn't matter any more." Lisbon remarked calmly hoping Jane would let it go.

She didn't want to think about anything happening to her baby.

"I want your word you won't keep things from me any more." Jane demanded.

"You have my word." Lisbon agreed.

"Not even this." Jane held up the sheet of paper he'd swiped from her drawer.

"That's a wish list of unnecessary things." Lisbon admitted. "The things Maddie really need are already accounted for."

"The things you shared with me and Minelli." Jane said quietly. "The things we helped you pick out."

"Pretty much." Lisbon tracked a sea gull gliding on the wind. "Everything I'm ordering on Monday."

"What about the rest of that stuff on your list?" Jane asked quietly.

"I'll get a lot of the smaller items at the baby shower Grace is threatening to throw me." Lisbon admitted knowing the larger, more costly luxuries she'd probably never get and would never miss. They weren't all that vital to raising a happy, healthy baby. Not like having two parents who loved her which she already had whether Jane openly played that role in the future or not.

Watching the sea gull dive bomb the waves, Lisbon swiped at a not-so-imaginary tear as she refused to contemplate a reality where her daughter didn't have _two_ parents who adored her whether they still adored each other or not.

"I suppose you will." Jane agreed beginning to walk along the water's edge yet again. "Anything you don't get, I'll buy as you need it."

Jane patted the list in his pocket. The one he'd stolen from the file in her locked desk drawer. Who was he to deny Lisbon anything she wanted for their child? Well, maybe he would deny her some things like that bassinet shaped like a swan. But nothing as important as a baby food maker. He just have to do his due diligence. He wasn't sure Lisbon's choice was the best from the little he'd seen. That brand had gotten a negative review or two.

Hearing the crinkle of paper, Lisbon gave Jane a shifty eyed look before deciding she didn't want to know. She really didn't. She'd rather contemplate her misery and the fact this wasn't how it should be when a couple started their family. All of this plotting and planning was growing old fast. Sadly, it just begun. Complicating things, when had she started thinking of herself and Jane as a couple? Probably about the time Jane started reassuring her they were. That they had been long before either of them realized the truth of the matter.

"I'm sure I'll let you." Lisbon answered honestly. "You know, for once, I'm going to enjoy leaving a paper trail. I don't usually like ordering that much online; but, knowing Hollister is most likely hacking my computer records right now looking for anything to crucify me changes everything."

Considering internet crimes was the witch's specialty, she was no doubt hijacking her records looking for anything to make her life hell…especially in Jane's eyes. The witch would probably think her beautiful, over-the-top-for-her nursery was just such a weapon. It certainly pointed to the love she harbored for her baby…If not for her baby's father as well. None of that would sit well with her consultant. Every second spent baby planning was time not spent on Red John. That was certainly the most obviuos, revolting angle Annie would play.

If only the woman knew the truth. She'd blow a gasket.

Not that Lisbon was willing to tell her, or anyone else, that Madeleine was Jane's child. As badly as she wanted to, that was the one thing she might never be able to do and it was the one thing she was finding hardest to accept. That Minelli knew helped. And the fact Jane clearly felt the same although he was outwardly coping with that fact better than she was. Internally was probably a far different matter.

_She'd_ bet money on it.

Running her hand over her belly, Lisbon silently admitted that while she might wish the circumstances of their relationship were different, she wasn't ashamed of Jane or their child. However, she might feel differently once she talked to her brothers. She had to tell them soon before Tommy heard it through the grapevine. Besides, she was beginning to show so it wasn't like she could keep her pregnancy a secret forever…another few weeks tops. All it would take was Tommy, or Annie, dropping by the CBI or her apartment unexpectedly for her to be so busted even now.

While she might not look exactly pregnant at the moment, her weight gain was significant enough for someone who knew her as well as her brother to start asking uncomfortable questions.

When he did, the rest would follow.

The one thing Lisbon did know from the start was she was going to have to tell them the truth. If she didn't, they _would_ see through her web of ambiguity and cause a world of trouble she didn't need. Brussels wouldn't be far enough to escape the wrath of the Lisbon Brothers. Lisbon shook her head. She was so going to have to beat it into her brothers' thick skulls they were going to have to keep the truth to themselves or they could get her killed. Both her and her baby as Red John clearly wasn't playing with a full deck.

The downside was Jimmy was going to be out for blood...Jane's blood…and Tommy would be all too willing to help him. The bad part of that equation was Thomas knew where to find her lover…Oh, God, when had she started thinking of Jane as a lover?...He'd been the father of her baby for the longest time…Probably over the course of the last day and a half when he'd actually become a lover…That was worse than being a couple...Crap...As for her _final_ brother, well, _that_ one was half-way across the United States so she _shouldn't_ have to add hot head number three to the fight. However, with the Lisbon Three she couldn't be sure. James was liable to buy him a round trip ticket just to triple the odds in the fray.

She'd have to warn Jane a back alley confrontation was coming and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"Ignore her." Jane said reflexively not all that concerned by the other woman. "I will."

"I'll do my best." Lisbon promised before switching gears. "I want to get the nursery straight as soon as possible. I don't need anything more on my plate than solving cases and keeping Maddie safe."

"I think that's wise." Jane agreed. "You know the team will help you things ready."

"They've already volunteered." Lisbon smiled recalling how Van Pelt had offered to help her get everything prepared that first night at the restaurant. Rigsby and Cho had immediately jumped on board with the redhead's offer. No matter what anyone said, her team was the best. "What about you?"

"What about me what?" Jane asked as they wiggled bare toes in the surf.

"Are you going to help?" Lisbon asked.

"Get ready for _our_ child?" Jane innocently kissed her forehead. "What do you think?"

"That you won't be around as much as the rest of the team; but, you will be around." Lisbon answered honestly.

"I'll be around as much as I think is safe." Jane agreed with her. "I want to be there for all of it, Teresa. You have to know that."

"I do." Lisbon reached out to touch his arm reassuringly. "But you're with me behind the scenes now and that's all that really matters."

"It'll have to do for now." Jane agreed turning to walk along the surf's edge.

"I suppose it will." Lisbon fell into step beside Jane fighting the urge to grab his hand. "What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Spending the morning with you and meeting Minelli on the pier this afternoon to finish our talk." Jane caught Lisbon's eye silently reassuring her everything would be alright with the closest thing she had to a father before shifting his gaze to sweep over the deserted beach.

"What about tonight?" Lisbon asked quietly. "Do you want me to come back here?"

"I thought I'd swing back to the hotel with Minelli after our talk." Jane stopped walking to stare at her. "We can order Room Service and hang out for a while before I tuck you in and leave."

"I'd like that." Lisbon walked away to plop on the dry sand not all that surprised when Jane followed suit.

"So would I." Jane reached over to engulf the hand resting on the sand in his. "I'd like that a lot."

"We're going to get through this mess aren't we?" Lisbon asked quietly suddenly feeling the weight she'd been trying to keep at bay pressing down on her.

"Yes, we are." Jane agreed.

"I hope so." Lisbon looked out over the churning surf. "That's what I really want."

And not for Madeleine…for herself as well. As maddeningly impossible as Jane was, he'd grown on her over the years…More than grown on her…She couldn't imagine her life without him…Not anymore and it scared her.

Closing her eyes, Lisbon silently admitted the time he was in jail for that whole Carter fiasco had been rough. She'd missed him terribly even if she'd seen him on a regular basis. Obviously, it hadn't been the same. But, those six months he'd spent in Vegas when she hadn't known if he was dead or alive had been sheer agony. If that wasn't enough, the whole Lorelei debacle that followed had broken her heart.

Neither she nor Jane had been sure they'd make it through that one and she wasn't sure they'd make it through this in spite of his reassurances.

"So do I." Jane promised her.

"Really?" Sometimes she wasn't so sure.

"Yes, really." Jane didn't like that haunted look in her eyes. "Teresa, you need to keep reminding yourself we're together even when it doesn't always feel that way. We'll still be together when all of this is over."

"That isn't what you said before all of this." Lisbon said softly.

"Yes, well, I was a fool." Jane admitted. "You know as well as I do that wasn't going to last. I wouldn't have been able to stay away even without Madeleine. I can't. I don't want to and you won't let me."

"No, I won't." Lisbon agreed.

"So, that being said, I'd say we have a pretty darn good shot of making it to the end." Jane reassured her. "Neither of us is willing to let him tear us apart. We weren't before Madeleine. We aren't now. Not when we're this close to having what we both want."

Jane's thumb and forefinger were almost touching.

"What we both want?" Lisbon was curious as to exactly what he meant by that.

"Do I really have to spell it out again?" As much as it pained him, Lisbon still looked as rough around the edges as he was feeling.

"Yeah, I think you do." Lisbon smiled slightly at the light squeeze of his hand.

"You, me, Madeleine…Raising our daughter together." Jane said quietly. "Another one or two of those if you want down the road." Jane nodded his head in the direction of her midsection.

"You can't be serious." Wide green eyes stared into his.

She hadn't ever given much thought to the idea of babies until one had so unexpectedly taken up residence in her womb and Jane was already insinuating they should do it again. If she'd ever doubted he had a serious screw loose, she knew it now. _She_ wasn't even sure they had a future given who was sitting on the other side of the gaming board and she knew she'd never considered _kids _as in more than one.

Meanwhile, Jane was already planning it.

The man was seriously cracked and she loved him for it.

"I've been thinking about this a lot since our walk around the pond." Jane rubbed her hand. "You, me, a family…If makes a strange kind of sense when you think about it."

"In what universe?" Lisbon asked bluntly rather surprised when Jane leaned over to press his lips against her forehead repeating a gesture he'd done numerous times over the years.

"Ours." He said quietly. "It always has."

"What about you…What about them?" Lisbon asked softly not sure how to put her question into words.

"We never intended Charlotte to be our only child." Jane didn't pretend to misunderstand what she was trying to ask and failing so miserably. Her desire to know wasn't as deep as her unwillingness to pry into areas he'd never been willing to share. "We were discussing the possibilities when they were taken away. We'd decided to try again…were trying even…If he'd waited a little longer, the damage could have been far more devastating."

Lisbon refused to look away from the raw pain in his eyes.

"I'd always believed my daughter should have at least one brother or sister to keep her company. It took Angela a few years to decide she was ready to go through all of this again." Jane reluctantly admitted. "The things she didn't like about pregnancy outweighed the things she did although she adored being a mother. Besides, she wanted to devote her full attention to one child for a few years without the distractions of managing two in still in diapers. I can't really fault her for that. Our daughter was a wonderful child.

I have to be honest with you, I can't imagine our daughter being an only child either. I don't want her to be. In order for that to happen, we have to be together. I can't see the future any other way and I don't think you can either."

"Oh, God." Unable to hold it in any longer, Lisbon crumbled before him.

Pulling her into his arms, Jane dropped a reassuring kiss on her lips.

"You shouldn't be doing this." Lisbon hiccupped into his ear before returning his kiss.

"To hell with what I shouldn't be doing." Jane kissed whatever part of her face he could reach. "If it comes up, tell them to screw off. You fell apart, I offered comfort, and we got caught up in the moment. Emotions have been flying high for a while. We're human and it won't happen again."

If only it was so simple.

"What about him?" Lisbon asked softly burying her face in his shoulder.

"He's getting off on how much we're hurting no matter the cause of the pain." Jane answered honestly. "At this point, I'm not sure he really cares who fathered your baby. He's eating it up knowing her existence is causing all of this.

Besides, I don't think he's coming after you anytime soon.

Not as long as we don't do anything stupid like openly acknowledging our relationship and flaunting our togetherness. The CBI would be the least of our problems if we did. While he won't tolerate our happiness; all of this emotional torture is another matter."

"You think he's going to wait until after Madeleine is born to take his revenge." Lisbon said quietly.

"Yes, I do." He knew in his soul. "It fits in perfectly with his twisted logic."

"I don't know whether to be relieved or horrified." Lisbon answered honestly.

"Be careful." Jane said quietly. "We don't really know that's how he's thinking and we've been wrong before."

#####

"How is Teresa doing?" Minelli asked as he offered Jane a dark amber bottle from his cooler. "I know you stopped by her room before you came here to check on her."

What they did when he got there wasn't anything Minelli wanted to know. He could only imagine. And doing _that_ was what had gotten them in trouble in the first place.

"And you know she was upset earlier when she first got back as she stopped by your room." Jane said quietly quirking a brow at the Root Beer in his hand. "And you know why."

"Don't ask." Minelli ignored the statement and answered the silent question dancing in Jane's eyes repressing the urge to punch the knowing look off his face. "Back to your previous statement; yes, I know, so what did you do to her?"

"I sent her back to the hotel when she wanted to stay at my place as you already know." Jane confirmed before taking a sip from the bottle in his hand deciding the soda wasn't half bad. It wasn't tea; but, it worked for a change. He'd have to remember to thank May for changing Minelli's drinking habits for the better the next time he saw her. "Things got a little out of hand on the beach. Lisbon broke down and I tried to put her back together."

"You kissed her like you shouldn't have in public." Minelli stated what Jane wouldn't. "Don't look at me like that. I know you and I know that formidable control you have; but, you're still human. You're hours away from Sacramento and anyone familiar with your situation. You've been pretending there's nothing between you when we both know there is. Living a lie is hard and your resolve is bound to slip every now and then."

"I guess." Jane agreed.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think anyone's watching you." Minelli informed him. "Not from the CBI. _He_ may be another story."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Jane said quietly.

"Bertram knows I came down here to referee." Minelli said quietly. "As much of a pain in the ass as you can be, you're a valuable commodity for the CBI. Gale doesn't want to lose you…not over something like this. He wants you to know that even if Lisbon's situation interferes with your mission, you still have the resources of the CBI at your fingertips."

Jane's eyebrow rose again at the thought that was pretty magnanimous if Bertram was Red John. Probably even if he wasn't which was something Jane was fast coming to believe. Anyways, that was a nice card to have in the deck if he needed it.

"As for the rest of the idiots like Hollister, they all know the drill. Lisbon's going to do whatever it takes to bring you back into the fold. Her following you to Malibu hasn't caused that much of a ripple from what I can see. It's just par for the course. She's done it before. She'll do it again. Everybody knows that.

I will say the team expects you to pay for her hotel room and everything else involved in this debacle or you're going to have more than Cho to contend with. I'd say you already have. Van Pelt is fit to be tied. She doesn't think you should be making Lisbon trail after you in her condition." Minelli informed Jane of the latest gossip before snorting at the thought Rigsby would be there, too, providing their Korean Agent with moral support; but, that would be about all. He wasn't much for sticking his nose in where he thought it didn't belong. His lady friend was a different matter. She was definitely ripping Jane a new one the first shot she got.

"I suppose she is and she will." Jane agreed. "Grace probably has a valid point with her feelings. I shouldn't be making Lisbon trail after me. However, it does add a very familiar dimension to our story. My reaction is very Jane and Lisbon's reaction to my reaction is very Lisbon. No one can say we're acting out of character."

"I don't suppose they can although _he_ might feel differently." Minelli softly reminded him. "You have to realize Red John, more than anyone, has to suspect the truth by now."

"Red John probably _knows _the truth." Jane twisted his hands together. "In spite of our best efforts to keep Lisbon's medical records off the radar and my name out of her files. He probably knew before we did if his M.O. stays the same."

"What are you going to do about it?" Minelli asked.

"There's not a whole lot I can do except stay away from Lisbon once we get back to Sacramento." Jane turned to face Minelli. "I don't think he's going to do anything as long as we aren't openly together and people don't see us trying to build a life together. He's enjoying our pain too much.

Once Madeleine is born, I'd say all bets are off. We're going to have to draw him out before he strikes first."

"I'd say you're right. Especially if he knows the truth about that child's paternity…Shades of déjà vu…." Minelli let that creepy thought simmer between them before slamming Jane with another. "Teresa's going to be having that heart-to-heart with her brother's soon. She's going to have to tell them the truth to keep them from doing something stupid like going after the wrong man. When she does, the crap's going to hit the fan. They're going to show up on your doorstep unless she can convince them otherwise."

"There isn't much I can do to stop them if they do." Jane pointed out.

"No, there isn't, except offering them the promise that'll keep them from beating the stuffing out of you." Minelli said.

"What promise is that?" Jane asked.

"The one saying you aren't going to bail on Lisbon for the greater good or to keep her safe." Minelli said quietly. "That you're going to be in Teresa's life helping her raise your child."

"I'm not going anywhere." Jane agreed. "How involved I can be before he's caught isn't something I can answer; but, I can assure you, I'll be in both their lives as much as I'm allowed."

"Don't assure me." Minelli said in a tone conveying _he _knew the score. "It's Lisbon's brothers you have to convince...Jane, if you think it's hard now, I hope you realize it's not going to get any easier as this goes along." Minelli took a sip of his beer. "The more Teresa starts to show, the more over-protective you'll want to get."

"But I can't." Jane finished for him.

"No, you can't." Minelli agreed. "Are you going to be able to hold back when she's sitting across that interrogation table from some kinked out perv murderer with a thing for pregnant women?"

"We'll have to see." Jane reluctantly admitted.

There were times over the years when he hadn't wanted her going into that interrogation room when they'd been nothing more than friends. Times like Lorelei. Then there had been creepers he hadn't wanted her anywhere near under any circumstance. Jane could only imagine how he was going to feel now that she carried his child. But, he had to stay in control no matter the cost.

"You don't have a choice." Minelli quietly reminded him.

"No, I don't suppose I do." Jane agreed.

"How did this whole mess get started?" Minelli asked bluntly. "And I'm not asking for the sordid details so don't even go there trying to knock me off track. I'm fully aware of how babies are made."

"How do you think?" Jane answered his question with a question.

"You dropped by with dinner on a Friday night as you've done almost from the start." Minelli said quietly.

"You know about that?" Jane asked somewhat surprised Lisbon had shared their secret with anyone outside of the team.

"I've known for years." Minelli admitted. "You'd been working together a couple of years when she came to me for advice. It was after the first couple of times you slept on her couch. She wanted to know if there was anything I thought she could do to make all of this easier for you."

"What did you tell her?" Jane asked intrigued.

"That she was playing with fire." Minelli answered honestly. "I told her to keep the walls up between you. She was getting too emotionally involved too fast."

"She didn't lie to you, Virgil." Jane said quietly. "We've never been anything but friends before that night."

"Lie to yourselves, Jane; but, don't lie to me." Minelli turned to look him squarely in the eyes. "The two of you have been lovers in all but fact for years."

"Does it really matter?" Jane asked. "We're obviously lovers now or Teresa wouldn't carry my child."

"You better like hell be a whole lot more than lovers." Minelli tossed his empty bottle back in the cooler.

"What do you think?" Jane asked frustrated with his old friend's constant prodding into things none of his business..

"That you still haven't told me how this whole mess started." Minelli reminded him. "Or what you were thinking at the time."

"I was thinking the Chicken Piccata smelled divine and that Lisbon looked prettier than I'd seen her looking in months." Jane answered honestly knowing Minelli wasn't going to back off. "She'd just spent several hours having a bubble bath and pampering herself with all those girly things she hadn't been doing for a long time."

"She looked so good you couldn't keep your hands to yourself." Minelli snorted at the thought of Jane denying himself anything he really wanted.

"Apparently not." Jane agreed tossing his own empty bottle in the cooler. "She smelled so good I'm afraid I nuzzled her neck." He reluctantly admitted.

"How did Lisbon react to that?" Minelli quirked a brow somewhat surprised Jane hadn't gotten shot for his daring.

"How do you think?" Jane asked curious to hear Minelli's reply.

"She ignored it." Minelli knew Lisbon much too well.

"Pretty much." Jane admitted. "Until we got into an argument later."

"Over what?" Minelli rolled his eyes thinking those two were like a couple of squabbling kids even after all the years of working together.

"The fact I thought she should get a life." Jane confessed. "Find a good man, get married, and have a kid before it's too late. She's sacrificed too much for her career and Red John. It was time for all of that to change."

"I'll bet that went over like a ton of bricks." Minelli could hear Lisbon's pat responses in his head.

He knew darned well she hadn't seriously considered getting married or having kids in a very long time. And he knew who's fault that was even if Lisbon hadn't realized it. He was staring the unwitting culprit right in the face knowing the truth was much too simple.

Jane had waltzed through her door with all his baggage and Lisbon's common sense had waltzed right out her door.

He'd watched in disbelief as it happened.

"It did." Jane admitted. "I finally told her she should at least have a lover waiting for her to come home at night."

"I'll bet she asked if you were offering." Minelli knew that was just the kind of smart-assed response Lisbon would give to such an invasive observation.

"You know her too well." Jane commented.

"Yes, I do." Minelli agreed. "And I know you well enough to know how you answered."

"She didn't have to take me up on it." Jane reminded him.

"But she did as you knew she would." Minelli said softly. "A woman can only take so much temptation."

"Don't you think a man feels the same?" Jane watched the waves splashing against the pier.

"I'm sure he does." Minelli continued. "What I don't get is why _a man _would risk getting a woman who means so much to him pregnant when he had to know the possible consequences of what he was doing…I can understand Lisbon getting caught up in the moment; but, you, no way…You're much too calculating."

"Maybe, for once, a man got too wrapped up in fulfilling his fantasies to consider those consequences until it was much too late." Jane admitted softly.

"Damn it, Jane, you're supposed to keep a lid on those kinds of fantasies and a certain part of your anatomy in your pants." Minelli opened a real beer he had secreted in the bottom of his cooler and took a healthy slug.

"Maybe I should have; but, I didn't." Jane answered quietly. "Does May know you have that?"

"Yes, she does." Minelli admitted. "There's one in there for you as well. When that's gone, you're welcome to another Root Beer. That's all there is. I gave her my word I wouldn't drown my sorrows, or yours, for that matter."

Jane smirked slightly realizing that chance introduction was probably the nicest thing he could have ever done for Virgil Minelli.

"For the record, I really want to beat the hell out of you for blind, selfish stupidity." Minelli stated vehemently.

"For the record, I'd let you if I thought it would do any good." Jane smirked slightly knowing the man meant every word.

"Why don't you tell me how you felt when Lisbon told you instead." Minelli said quietly. "That's got to be a doosey."

"I think it was, "Oh, Shit!" at first" Jane admitted. "Then it was, "Oh, God." and finally it was, "Oh, My, Lisbon's having our baby." in a good way. I don't think I've looked back since."

"So you're happy?" Minelli asked bluntly. "None of this is an act for Lisbon's sake?"

"Do you really need to ask that or are you just covering all the bases like a good cop would?" Jane quirked a brow at his companion.

"Covering the bases." Minelli admitted.

"Then you don't need to bother." Jane stated firmly. "What do you say to discussing something less insulting like the fact Lisbon really doesn't like my taste in lighting."

"You seriously want me to discuss baby lamps?" Minelli quirked a brow back at him. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Yeah, I think I do, and, no, I'm not kidding you." Jane leaned back on the railing of the pier. "Especially after that last question you just asked me."

"As long as you don't ask me which baby food maker we'll be all right." Minelli admitted. "I don't like the one she has on her list."

"You've been looking into baby food makers?" Jane rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"Does that really surprise you?" Minelli asked. "Lisbon's the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter and her child the closest thing I'll have to a granddaughter. May suggested we look into giving her something she'll need down the road rather than the usual things she'll need right now. Things she'll get way too many of anyway. I thought it was a good suggestion."

"It is." Jane agreed. "And my opinion's the same on the baby food maker."

"You know, Jane, while I don't approve of how and when it happened, I'm not surprised that baby is yours." Minelli said. "I really can't imagine Lisbon having a child with anyone else and that would be a terrible waste."

"Yes, it would." Jane agreed remember how well Lisbon had handled the children on their cases over the years.

She was a natural mother.

"Now, back to those lamps you want to discuss." Minelli steered the conversation back into safer waters. He really couldn't handle Jane breaking down. "Convince me why I should persuade Lisbon to go with them."

Gathering his thoughts, Jane shook his head realizing his old Boss wasn't going to make it easy for him. Like Lisbon, the man could argue over anything. He had a feeling it was going to be a while before he could join a certain dark haired woman in her hotel room. That was probably for the best anyways. Lisbon had been curled on her side fast asleep getting some much needed rest when he'd left.

He'd thorougly worn her out.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: As always, thank you for the reviews. They're greatly appreciated.~Calla

#####

Pulling into the parking place and pulling his keys from the ignition, Jane grabbed the take-out bags and closed the door. Surveying the familiar hotel parking lot, he made his way towards the sliding glass doors. While Lisbon was staying in one of the nicer places on the beach, the parking lot was more empty than full this time of year. The rooms were the same. That emptiness made him feel much better about her and Minelli staying here. It was much harder to blend into the crowd when there wasn't one. Then again, considering who they were up against, that might not be such a good thing.

Watching the elevator doors close behind him, Jane counted the seconds until he reached the third floor. Walking through the open doors, he turned the corner heading towards the end of the hall. Lisbon's room was midway and Minelli's directly across from hers. Stopping in front of her door, Jane rapped softly using their "secret" knock.

Hearing the soft knock, Lisbon looked through the peep hole before unlocking the door and opening it wide.

"No Room Service. It isn't safe." Jane said quietly as he walked through the door with a large bag in his hands. "I went by one of my favorite haunts instead."

"Where you bought seafood platters from the smell of it." Lisbon felt herself salivating.

"Not for you." Jane calmly reminded her. "I brought you a hamburger and fries."

"You're kidding me." Lisbon did not look happy as she locked the door behind them. "You can't eat seafood in front of me."

"Sure I can." Jane said as he set the bag on a small table. "_Kelsey's_ burgers are special. You won't be disappointed. I promise. Besides, you can have a few nibbles from my plate."

"Good." Lisbon's eyes lit up at the thought. "Baked potato instead of fries?"

Jane rolled his eyes in disgust knowing he'd ordered everything exactly as he thought she would like it. Forget _his_ personal preferences. This weekend was all about Lisbon and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"That doesn't mean I get the burger and you get my shrimp." Jane said firmly as he began removing the take out containers from the bag. "I don't care if you haven't eaten much seafood this week."

"I haven't eaten any in a week and a half." Lisbon commented as she glanced into her box taking in the massive hamburger, slaw, and perfectly cooked homemade fries and onion rings before tightly closing the lid to keep the heat in. "They make everything from scratch? You've got to be kidding me?"

"They have for over seventy years." Jane confirmed what she already knew by the lack of uniformity in the fries and onion rings. "That's why it's a local hangout and one of Malibu's best kept secrets. The lines don't need to get any longer than they already are."

"Everything smells wonderful." Lisbon took the little cups of Ketchup, Cocktail, and Tartar Sauce from Jane.

"Trust me, it is." Jane said. "Actually, that box you're sniffing over is Minelli's so why don't you hand it to me so I can take it to him. This one is yours."

He removed the final box from the bag and handed it to her. Taking Minelli's box back from Lisbon, he put it back in the bag already holding his napkins, condiments, and a slab of chocolate cake for dessert.

"That wasn't very nice." Lisbon said as she opened her box to display the golden fried seafood she'd wanted. Thank goodness she was back to her usual cast iron stomach. It wouldn't do to have heartburn from hell. "But this makes up for it."

"I'll be right back." Jane took the bag along with a large iced tea and headed for the door.

"I'll be right here stuffing my face." Honoring her word, Lisbon lifted the lid on her box and speared a scallop before carrying it to her lips. "I am so not waiting on you to get back."

Lisbon spoke into the empty room as she savored the nibble in her mouth not all that surprised Jane was back in record time. He probably didn't want to leave his box of goodies in the room alone with a ravenous pregnant woman. Especially considering he'd ordered that loaded bake potato she was really craving sticking her with the fries and onion rings she usually favored. In fact, he was probably wise to cut it short with Minelli for more reasons than his dinner getting cold. She was already stealing generous bites of his overflowing spud.

"Teresa, honestly, I can't leave you alone for a minute." Jane sat at the table beside her and lifted his half eaten potato onto her box before reaching into the bag to grab the second potato he'd ordered. "I could have forgotten the seafood and stuck to that."

"I'm having a craving." Lisbon innocently defended herself.

"I've heard that one before." Jane huffed as he dipped a shrimp in homemade tartar sauce.

"Then you know it's true." Lisbon moved her chair a little closer to his. "Besides, you knew I was swiping this one because you left the bacon off."

"I suppose I did." Jane agreed. "However, I didn't leave it off of mine so don't even think about foraging this one. There will be no picking off the bacon crumbles. You're just going to have to eat your fries like a good girl when you're done."

"Spoil sport." Lisbon reached over to fork a clam from his plate.

"Stop that." Jane smacked at her hand. "In all seriousness, while you might want to leave part of that for later since the serving is larger than you should have, you don't have to be concerned about eating anything. The fish is flounder and the Kelsey's are very selective about their suppliers."

"I trust you not feed me anything you shouldn't." Lison smiled as she dunked a chunk of crispy fish in Tartar Sauce. "This is your kid, too."

"Good." Jane watched her take a bite of onion ring. "I'm glad you feel that way."

"You don't seriously think I could feel any different?" Lisbon gave him a speculative glance.

"No, I don't." Jane agreed. "This is all so different than it was the first time around. Sometimes, I'm not sure what to think."

It was different and, yet, the same. This child was a girl, too. While he would never admit it to Lisbon, he hadn't fully embraced that idea. He wasn't sure how he was going to feel holding his daughter in his hands.

"And this weekend has only added to the confusion for both of us." Lisbon agreed knowing coming up here was both the best and the worst thing she could have done for them.

On the one hand, they'd needed the bonding time and the opportunity to feel like a couple expecting their first child. On the other, being "normal" for a few days was only going to make it that much harder to play the game once they returned to Sacramento. Lisbon comforted herself with the thought all good fairy tales must end and Jane was very good at playing games. That was all that was happening.

The fantasy was ending and the game was starting again.

"To a certain degree that's true although it's provided clarity as well." Jane pointed out.

"Well, that clarity's almost over." Lisbon closed her box deciding she'd eaten enough. "Tomorrow's the last day."

"Yes, it is." Jane agreed as he closed his box as well. "As much as I hate the idea, we should have an early breakfast with Minelli; then go our separate ways."

"Oh, no, you don't. You so aren't leaving me like that." Lisbon protested. "I don't think I can stand it. Not with what we have to go back to."

"Then we'll have breakfast with Minelli, get you checked out of here, and meet back at my place." Jane said quietly. "We can finish these for lunch and go for one last walk on the beach. Spend some quiet together one last time."

"I like that better." Lisbon answered honestly.

"I'm sure you do." Jane agreed. "Any excuse to get me naked."

"I happen to like you naked." Lisbon admitted.

"You do realize we can't do any of this back home." Jane's tone was grave. "We shouldn't be doing it here."

"It's going to be hard; but, I know we'll have to be more circumspect." Lisbon agreed. "There will be too many eyes on us."

"Yes, there will." Jane was glad she wasn't trying to change his mind. "While I don't expect us not to slip, we have to try. We can't take unnecessary risks out of a reckless desire to be together."

"I know the score, Jane." Lisbon repeated softly. "I truly do. I won't be trying to seduce you around every corner. I give you my word."

"I'm going to hold you to it." Jane said quietly not sure he could fight her off if she did.

"I know." Looking him in the eyes, Lisbon nibbled her bottom lip in that way saying she had something to say she wasn't sure he would like. "I was thinking while you were with Minelli."

"About what?" Jane asked not all that sure he wanted to know.

"Bringing the team in on this." Lisbon rested her hand over her tummy.

"They already know you're pregnant." Jane reminded her not really thinking she'd forgotten. "In fact, from what Minelli's told me, Grace is waiting to kick my ass over the way I handled the news."

"Yes, they do, and she is." Lisbon agreed. "But, that's not what I'm talking about."

"You want to bring them in on _this_." Jane gestured from himself to Lisbon and back again.

"I want to tell them the truth." Lisbon said. "That even though it doesn't look that way, we're together, and you're Madeleine's father."

"What brought this on?" Jane caressed her back.

"The fact I think they can handle it. They've proven they can keep a secret over and over again. All you have to remember is Vegas and Hafner." Lisbon reminded him. "And I think I'd be more comfortable knowing they were watching our back as well.

Besides, not telling them could destroy our relationship and I don't think I could live with that."

"I still don't think it's a good idea." Jane said gently. "Too much could go wrong."

"But you'll do it." Lisbon said. "I can't risk losing my team, Jane, not over this. Not when the answer's so simple. I trust my guys and, if you're honest, you do to."

"That was never in question." Jane reminded her. "It's more that all of this is a huge weight to burden them with especially given Rigsby and Van Pelt have enough on their plate keeping their own illicit relationship under wraps."

"They're doing a much better job of it this time around." Lisbon smirked at the thought they certainly weren't going to be announcing to everyone they shouldn't they were a couple as they'd done the first time around. "I think they can handle it."

"I'm not going to stop you." Jane decided they didn't really have anything to lose. "They'll probably figure it out before Maddie's born anyway."

"I'm glad to hear that." Lisbon said quietly. "I'd have to force the issue if you tried to stop me."

"I'm not going to stop you." Jane repeated. "In fact, I'm going to be right there with you when we do. Invite them over to your house as soon as you can and we'll get it over with."

"I'll shoot for Monday night after work." Lisbon said. "Does that work for you?"

"I'll be there early." Jane said as he took both of their boxes and put them in a bag before setting everything in the mini refrigerator.

"Good." Lisbon nodded her head. "Now that that's settled, what's still bothering you?"

Her expression was slightly puzzled as Jane reached over to rub his hand over her belly somewhat absently.

"Nothing." Jane answered automatically.

"That's not true and we both know it." Lisbon called him on his lie knowing exactly what had his knickers in a knot.

She just wasn't sure what had it all bubbling to the surface now. He'd gone rummaging through her drawers almost a month ago. She hadn't bothered confronting him about it as she'd known he'd only deny it. Maybe he'd admit the truth now.

"They say you never find anything good when you start snooping where you shouldn't." She started. "That was certainly true in your case. I think you're still upset I didn't tell you the truth about how close I came to losing Madeleine. You're doing your best to ignore it; but, I know you too well so you might as well fess up."

"Fine." Jane agreed. "I'm still upset."

"Then we need to talk things through." Lisbon said quietly huffing at the thought there was no good reason to be revisiting the past except to give Jane closure he seemed to need. "And we need to do it now or your anger's going to keep rearing its ugly head when I have more important things to worry about than pricking your pride."

"I think you're right." Jane ran his hand over her belly. While he might not be sure how he was going to react once Maddie was born, he had no trouble showering her with affection in the womb. Besides, just because he might have an emotional moment or two when he might behave badly, it didn't mean he didn't love his daughter. He most certainly did. "I have been a little disconcerted since I read that paperwork. You should have told me everything from the start."

"Let's be honest." Lisbon started. "We weren't expecting to sleep together and, once we had, you made it clear it was an aberration that would never happen again."

"Not because I didn't want to continue our relationship and you know that." Jane reminded her. "It was because such intimacies were much too dangerous for you. They still are."

"You're forgetting I didn't know that at the time. I mean I knew about the danger; but, you weren't exactly forthcoming about the rest of it." Lisbon said. "For all I knew, you'd changed your mind and regretted what happened between us. Maybe you were just trying to let me down easy with that whole Red John angle to preserve our working relationship."

"You know me better than that." Jane snorted. "If any of that were true, we'd have had one hell of a one nighter or an unforgettably raunchy weekend and that would have been that. It would have been business as usual on Monday morning and every day since." Not that they hadn't had that raunchy weekend though, under the circumstances, he preferred to think of it as being unforgettably _impassioned_ instead. "And I can assure you Madeleine wouldn't have been conceived."

They'd have _both _been adequately prepared instead of taken by surprise.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Teresa." Jane said. "You know it's true.

You also know Red John really wouldn't care if the rumors were true over the years…The ones saying we've been having hot monkey sex every now and then…Contrary to popular belief, I am a fully functional man and you're a very appealing woman…He probably expected it.

This, however, is an entirely different matter." Jane rested his hand over the gentle curve of her stomach. "Madeleine wasn't created in a misguided lustful encounter. We both know better. That's why you should have told me from the start."

"Jane, there's a mighty big leap between sleeping together and making a baby. While we both know you were a willing participant in one, neither of us expected the other." Lisbon continued. "While we both realized this was a possibility in the back of our minds given the recklessness of that first time; I don't think either of us ever believed it would really happen."

"It isn't a leap at all, My Dear." Jane's tone held a hint of mirth. "From my understanding of biology, one is a perfectly natural consequence of the other."

"That's not what I mean and you aren't making this any easier. In fact, you're having too much fun with it." Lisbon rested her fingers on the hand resting so gently on her stomach in response to Jane's outright laugh at her snarky tone. "I don't know what you were thinking; but, I never really allowed myself to consider the possibility. I couldn't. The first of me realizing something was off; I was bleeding when I shouldn't be and it scared me.

The next thing I knew, Laura was walking into the room after all those years of not seeing each other and shocking the hell out of me by bluntly stating I was pregnant and in serious danger of losing the baby. My doctor hadn't even told me I was pregnant before he walked down the hall to consult a specialist. I'm afraid I didn't take it too well. Probably better than I would have had that specialist not been an old friend I was immediately comfortable with; but, still not well." Lisbon's eyes glazed over as she got lost in the moment. "There was something about being told I was pregnant one moment and that I should expect the pregnancy to terminate in the next that really pissed me off."

"You can't be serious." Jane instinctively held Lisbon a little tighter.

"Laura was as gentle as she could be; but, that's basically what she said." Lisbon closed her eyes and burrowed into his chest. "I refused to accept it and spent that weekend in bed as she instructed me. As time went on things got better. We got past that hump; but, the monthly thing you already know about kept going for a while until everything finally straightened out. Now, we're all doing fine and there aren't any more secrets."

"No, there aren't." Jane agreed. "I'm not going to lie to you, Teresa. I'm going to have to work through some of this. It doesn't change anything; but, it does hurt. I should have been there that weekend. If you'd lost our child, I'd have wanted to be there to share the pain and comfort you. That's what a father does. You need to get that through your head."

"You didn't even know I was pregnant." Lisbon said quietly. "I could hardly call you over to watch me have a miscarriage before you even had an opportunity to wrap your mind around the idea we'd made a child in the first place. That wouldn't have been fair."

"No, My Dear, what wouldn't have been fair is never giving me that choice." Jane pressed his lips gently against her forehead.

"I didn't think about that." That thought had never crossed her mind.

"It's okay." Jane said quietly. "It would have been okay eventually even if things had turned out differently. It would have hurt like hell; but, we would have worked through it as we have everything else."

"In my defense, it took me a lot of soul searching to decide to wait to tell you. Perhaps I should have told you as soon as I knew; but, I couldn't risk any more stress. I couldn't take the chance you'd take the news badly at first although I knew you'd eventually come around. I just wasn't willing to do anything to cost our child when I'd just begun to fight."

"So you kept on working as though nothing was wrong." Jane shook his head. "When we both know that you should have been home in bed. What's bright about that?"

"That was Laura's call and I think she made the right one. Common consensus is bed rest doesn't prevent a miscarriage from happening." Lisbon reassured him. "She knew me well and she realized I hadn't changed over the years so we decided keeping busy was probably better for me as long as I didn't do anything stupid and I didn't.

You know I didn't."

"I do know that." Jane agreed. "In fact, since you're out of the woods, I'd say you did everything right."

"Except tell you." Lisbon's tone was apologetic.

"Except tell me." Jane agreed. "And insult me by thinking I'd bail. Or, more offensively, even entertain the thought I would ever not want our child."

"I should have; but, what if you hadn't reacted as you did?" Lisbon asked quietly. "I know you were shocked and I know this wasn't an easy thing to accept. I could see it on your face."

"Yes, it was, and I was. But, it didn't take long for the idea to grow on me." Jane reminded her. "Even when I realized she was a girl."

"I still don't know how you did that." Lisbon said softly. "It had to hurt."

"More than you'll ever know; but, I got past it." Jane refused to say he got over it. There were aspects of the whole having another daughter scenario he still hadn't worked completely through. Like the sometimes overwhelming guilt he could be so happy he was having another girl to love. But, Lisbon would never know any of that. Some things weren't meant to be shared. "All that really mattered in the end was the woman I love was carrying my child."

"You're going to say that now?" Lisbon arched a brow in disbelief.

"We're not in Sacramento, Lisbon." Jane said quietly. "We're in Malibu where the rules don't apply. Besides, Minelli suggested you might need to hear the words at least once to make it real. I happen to think he's right.

I love you, Teresa Lisbon, I have for a while. I always will."

"I love you, too." Lisbon declared quickly deciding if he could she could.

Besides, they might not get another chance to admit how they really felt and, Minelli was right, showing each other wasn't always enough. In the end, sex was still sex. No matter how incredible it was.

Words were a different matter.

And those particular words were priceless.

#

Staring at the team staring at them, Jane turned to look at Lisbon as Lisbon looked back at him. Catching the indecisiveness on her face now that the moment was finally here, Jane silently offered to do what had to be done. Wide-eyed, Lisbon nodded slightly giving her consent. As much as all of this was her idea, she was having trouble finding the right words to say. Maybe Jane would do better.

"Madeleine Grace is mine." Jane stated bluntly as he reached over to pat Lisbon's hand.

Lisbon rolled her eyes thinking, 'Then again, maybe he wouldn't.'

"Madeleine Grace is yours." Rigsby stuttered as though the thought hadn't crossed his mind while Cho shot Jane a look saying he wasn't surprised. Van Pelt simply stared silently at her Boss in disbelief while she tried to forget all the really ugly things she'd said to Jane this morning now that she knew his actions were clearly only an act.

"That's what I said, Rigsby." Jane stated firmly. "And as impossible as might be to believe, as Maddie is undeniably mine, it is true that your Boss and I had sex at least once."

"Jane." Lisbon growled as she squeezed his hand painfully.

"Shush, Lisbon." Jane eased his hand from her grip. "No one knows the truth but Minelli and you guys. It's best we keep it that way if we want to keep Lisbon alive."

The team shot him a look clearly conveying it wasn't necessary to state the obvious. They knew Maddie's paternity was a secret and they'd gladly keep it that way. Their lips were sealed.

"So you're going to be "Uncle Patrick" to your own daughter?" Cho asked bluntly.

"I doubt we'll be that close until Red John's caught." Jane admitted. "You'll have to be Uncle Cho instead."

Glancing at Jane, the insanity of the man's position hit Lisbon again. It was impossible. Listening to her team agree to keep an eye on her and Jane reiterating that he couldn't be around as much as he'd like for obvious reasons, Lisbon realized how much thought he was putting into everything. Every move he made, with the exception of her surprise visit to Malibu, was carefully calculated to keep her safe and advance the game. Jane now had more reasons than he'd ever had to bring Red John in. He wasn't going to stop until that was done.

Ignoring the conversation going on around her, although it was all about her, Lisbon lost herself in thought.

As much as he wanted to deny it, she had a feeling Red John wouldn't be the only thing keeping Jane from embracing his daughter as much as he wanted to. It was one thing to adore both her and her ever rounding tummy. It was another to hold his _daughter _in his arms. He couldn't help but see Charlotte Anne all over again.

She couldn't imagine how bad that was going to hurt.

He was going to pull away for a while…from both of them. She knew that. He wouldn't be able to help himself. As much agony as Jane had endured over the years he was a man. He was a very strong man; but, still just a man. And, while a part of her was screaming that was just plain wrong, he should love his daughter on sight, another part of her understood Jane would need time. Once he'd put the fresh pain in perspective, he'd love their Maddie with all his heart. She was sure of it. She could give him that much.

He'd given her Madeleine Grace.

Turning her attention back to the conversation, Lisbon put her foot down. There was no way her team was going to take turns camping out at her apartment until Red John was caught or her baby was born. She sent Van Pelt a dirty look for even suggesting that one and Cho a wth look for seconding it.

Honestly, Jane's paranoia was rubbing off on them and it was so going to stop right now.

#

Leaning into the railing, Jane set his empty cup aside as he stared into the night. Any way you sliced it, he'd had a rough day although he didn't look it. In fact, he looked better than he had in a while. But, looks could be deceptive. The truth was the past day and a half had been hell starting with seeing Lisbon off from her hotel.

Everything had gone downhill from there.

He'd wanted to cry watching her leave…even if men weren't supposed to cry. The only bright spot was he knew Minelli was following her home. At least he didn't have to worry about Lisbon making it safely to her place or getting safely inside. He knew her old Boss would spend a good while checking things out and making sure she was safe before he took his leave. After her car disappeared from sight, he'd returned home and tossed back a stiff drink. He'd then spent the next few hours walking on the beach contemplating the past couple of days. Days he wouldn't be repeating any time soon. Then, he'd gone back to Sacramento to his lonely hotel room.

He'd awoken in that same room this morning far from ready to start his day and driven into the CBI. Van Pelt had torn him a new one as soon as he'd entered the bullpen. He'd let her. Getting told off by a beautiful redhead was a small enough price to pay for the weekend he'd just shared with his lover. From there he'd made his way to his man-cave only to be pulled away by a brand new case. If that wasn't enough, the team had been available for that pow-wow at Lisbon's apartment. Somehow, he'd survived the reveal, the interesting conversation that followed, and tearing himself from Lisbon's side when all he'd wanted to do was stay. They'd both agreed it would be better if he left with the rest of the team.

Now, here he was haunting the CBI terrace in the wee hours of the morning all by himself.

Or maybe he wasn't.

Hearing the soft flick of a lighter in the shadows, Jane didn't have to look to know who was standing behind him. He could smell the smoke still clinging to her skin. Vile habit that and a real turn off no matter how attractive the woman. He couldn't deny Annie Hollister was definitely an attractive woman…a tall, blonde drink of water with curves in all the right places and a really pretty face. And one who'd been stalking him all day since his return from Malibu.

Turning, Jane decided the moment had come for the confrontation he'd been trying to avoid for weeks.

"Hello, Annie, I'm assuming you have something to say or you wouldn't still be hanging out at the CBI past midnight." Jane decided to grab the bull by the horns.

"I'm taking a smoke break." Hollister took a drag from her cigarette. "We're in the middle of a sexual predator case. The one where the pretty boy creeper lures underage girls into having sex with him then rolls the encounters into highly lucrative porn flicks. We're closing in on him in spite of his sophisticated international routing maneuvers. With any luck, we'll have what we need to get the proper warrants by morning and his penis in a sling by tomorrow night."

Jane's brow rose slightly at the rather crude commentary passing the woman's delicately tinted lips.

"Good job." Jane said sincerely. "But, you aren't here to discuss your case."

"No, I'm not." Hollister agreed as she stubbed her cigarette in an ash tray before walking over to stand by Jane.

"You're interested in a more personal conversation." Jane said quietly noting the woman was slightly taller than him in three inch heels, not that it bothered him.

"I think I am." Hollister agreed. "From the looks of things, you and Lisbon have called a truce."

"Yes, we have." Jane said quietly. "We talked through a lot of things this weekend. Mainly things like the fact, while not pleased with this situation; I still don't want her doing anything to endanger herself or her child. On her side, it was more of a promise her pregnancy wasn't going to interfere with the hunt for Red John.

Oh, and reminding me I'd still have access to the team and the CBI's resources once she was out of the field. In the interim, she has no intention of letting her personal life interfere with her professional life any more than she ever has. Considering what I know of Lisbon on that front, I think I can work with that."

Jane spun his lies with his usual ease.

"It's really true isn't it?" Hollister asked.

"What's really true?" Jane asked wondering what more the woman could possibly say.

"That no crap either one of you pulls ever seems to break you up." Hollister commented. "You both just keep coming back for more."

"Apparently not." Jane agreed. "We have a good working relationship based on trust. I don't care what anyone says, trust is really hard to find. It isn't something either of us takes lightly or ever will.

And while I am surprised Lisbon slipped up, I'm not surprised she found someone to get close to. I've been suggesting she do just that for quite a while."

"You've been suggesting she find a man for a while?" Hollister arched a brow at him.

"She deserves a real life." Jane continued. "Actually, I think I suggested she find a man, get married, and have a couple of kids. I suppose two out of three isn't bad even if she didn't keep the man."

"You can't be serious." Hollister's snort wasn't nearly as pleasing as Lisbon's to his ear. "You're the last person I'd ever expect to suggest something like that."

"We're friends, Annie." Jane said quietly. "I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't want Lisbon to have the kind of happiness I had."

"Yeah, I guess." Hollister looked like such a thought had never crossed her mind.

"Trust me, I wouldn't be." Jane said quietly. "Oh, as for that school girl crush you're harboring in my direction, you need to let it go."

Hollister opened her mouth to protest before deciding why bother? Jane knew everything. He always had.

"I'm hardly a good bet for any woman." Jane continued. "In case you've forgotten, I got my wife and daughter killed. If that's not bad enough, I have a serial killer on my ass. He's been there for years.

Added to that, my last lover, if you want to call her that, was a psycho murderess who happens to now be dead, too. Another Red John victim in case I need to refresh your memory. That I was only using her to get to her Boss doesn't make the truth any easier to accept."

"Jane, honestly." Hollister protested deciding she needed to get a word in edgewise or lose her chance.

"Use your common sense, Annie." Jane continued. "Nothing I've said is remotely attractive. You're a beautiful woman who can do a lot better than me."

A beautiful woman with a viperous soul he wouldn't touch if he had a perpetual hard on and she was the last female walking the face of the earth.

"Oh, and stop tormenting Lisbon." Jane said quietly figuring he'd best finish with his spiel while he had Hollister's undivided attention. "I know why you're doing it. We both do. I'm the only man at the CBI you think you want who's resisted your charms so far. You think my friendship with Teresa is standing in the way. It isn't and it never has been."

"Then why?" As much as she knew she was going to regret asking, Hollister couldn't stop the words from tumbling past her lips.

It didn't make sense how Jane continually sidestepped her open invitations when no one else did. It wasn't like he was involved with anyone. Everyone knew his car was parked in the CBI parking lot more often than not. And when he wasn't locked away in the attic, he was in that crummy little room he rented.

She ought to know, she'd driven by a few times to see his car parked in the parking lot. She'd just never gotten up enough courage to knock on his door unannounced. On those rare occasions when he wasn't either place, he could usually be found camping out at Lisbon's. But that was no surprise either. He'd been doing that almost from the start. Even on those rare occasions she was seeing someone.

Their relationship had been strange from the beginning. In spite of the gossip, no one had ever really believed there was anything inappropriate between them. Maybe some feelings neither of them were willing to admit; but, banging like bunnies…No way…Too unprofessional for Teresa Lisbon and Jane was, well, Jane.

"Because any woman I get involved with becomes Red John fodder. It's as simple as that. Even if I were interested, which regrettably I'm not," Jane rubbed his wedding band in that familiar manner. "I wouldn't do that to anyone I cared about."

Jane's stomach turned at his gut wrenching lie. He'd done just that to the only living woman he cared about that way. It didn't matter Lisbon had been more than willing to share his bed. He damned well should have walked away when he had the chance. He'd known that at the time. He knew it now.

"What about Lisbon?" Annie asked softly.

"She was Red John Fodder the moment that file crossed her desk." Jane said quietly. "She didn't even know me then and she's been in danger ever sense. All I can do is try to not do anything to put her any deeper in harm's way."

Which was exactly what he'd done whether he'd meant to or not.

"That's an interesting take on a strange situation." Hollister observed.

"Serial killers are usually strange by definition." Jane said. "They wouldn't be serial killers if something wasn't seriously off."

"I meant your relationship with Lisbon." Hollister tapped another cigarette out of the package and lit it.

"Well, since I'm a rather strange guy, do you really expect anything else?" Jane's gaze bore into her daring her to elaborate. "I'm fortunate Lisbon chooses to put up with me."

"To hear her tell it, you solve cases, and that's good enough for her." As much as she wanted to come right out and say it was something else, Hollister honest to goodness didn't believe it was.

The man was still wearing the same wedding band he'd been wearing when he first walked through the door ten plus years ago. If he was sleeping with Lisbon, she couldn't imagine that ring still being where it was. No woman in her right mind was going to screw around with a man wearing his dead wife's wedding ring…certainly not Teresa Lisbon. The woman was much too _normal_ to cross that crazy assed line in the sand.

"I think our solve rate stands for itself." Jane reminded her.

"I think it does." Hollister agreed giving Jane the once over.

He looked good enough to eat and if he were any other man, she might give it a try. But, somehow, she just didn't see making an overt move on Jane working out the way it usually did. She seriously doubted she'd get an invite to his place or he'd be following her to hers. He wasn't giving off that vibe. Not to the degree she was willing to tempt that degree of embarrassment.

Reading the look on her face, Jane decided he was tired of all the predatory b.s. bordering on sexual harassment. Annie Hollister might be a shameless maneater; but, to quote his lady love, he so wasn't her next meal. That being said, it was time to bring this impromptu meeting to a close. If it took getting nasty to end the chase, he was prepared to be as nasty as he had to be.

"Annie, I'm asking you to stop your mindless cruelty." Jane said quietly flipping the subject. "Lisbon has enough on her plate handling me without all the unpleasant gossip. She's had a much rougher time than she's let on and she doesn't deserve the flack she's getting here. It's hard enough going through a difficult pregnancy alone without having the people who should be supporting her talking behind her back. You're causing the woman a lot of additional grief for no good reason."

Hollister resisted the urge to say she wasn't doing anything knowing Jane wouldn't buy it. He probably knew every word she'd ever said against Lisbon and who she said them to. That tact wouldn't work and she knew it.

"As I've already assured you, Lisbon isn't keeping us apart. The fact I still love my wife, have this ring on my finger, and I'm just not interested is." None of that was a lie. He did still love Angela. She'd been his wife. But, he loved Lisbon, too. Catching the unpleasant look on the woman's face, Jane decided to try one final tactic. If Hollister was so stupid even that didn't work, the kid gloves were coming off. "Let me put it one final way. If you continue your emotional terrorism and anything happens to Lisbon or her child, I will make your life hell in ways you've yet to contemplate. If you don't believe me, remember Hafner. I'll make what I did to him look like child's play."

"Is that a threat?" Hollister took a lazy draw from the cigarette in her hand more afraid than she let on.

If there was one thing she, and everyone else, had learned over the past few years it was you did _not_ want to get in Patrick Jane's sights. The havoc he could wreak in a person's life was legendary. The stuff nightmares were made of and far worse than the scent of dead rat in your favorite suit pocket. She really didn't want to go there and Hollister knew it.

"You should know by now that I don't make threats." Jane's tone was deadly quiet. "Only promises."

"Well, on that note, I think I'll go back inside." Annie crushed what was left of her cigarette before turning on her heel. "I'm sure they've made headway on our case."

She was just going to ignore Jane's "promise" and hope it went away.

"I'm sure they have, Annie, I'm sure they have." Jane said as he turned to stare off into the night glad to finally be at peace again.


End file.
